A Guide to Dating & Flowers
The dos and don'ts of sending flowers to your sweetie.
Jul 06, 2022
Being in a relationship with someone means always trying to show them your best self. That includes everything from hygiene to manners to gift giving — and few gifts express how you feel about someone better than flowers.
But there are still certain guidelines to follow when buying flowers for the person you're dating. Understanding when to send flowers and knowing the right type of flowers to send can show your sweetie how much they mean to you and help your relationship bloom.
When to send flowers
Giving flowers at the start of your relationship is a great way to express your feelings without coming on too strong, says Dr. Channa Bromley, an award-winning matchmaker, and dating and relationship coach who works with Relationship Hero.
“[Sending flowers] shows thoughtfulness, effort, and confidence in expressing your positive regards," she says. "We all want to feel appreciated and cherished."
“Just because" flowers, Bromley says, are a great way to show your admiration — especially when they have a personalized touch.
“Gifts should say 'I see you, and I knew this would [make you] smile,'" she says. “The effort of thought that goes into personalizing a gift is the essential ingredient."
As far as specific occasions like holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries are concerned, most experts agree that flowers are a great gift option — no matter what stage of the relationship you're in.
To Krista Ingrilli, a Florida-based floral designer who runs Eufloria Flower Co., it's all about reading the room.
“It's more about understanding your partner's vibe," she says. “I'd think 99.9% of the time they'll appreciate a thoughtful arrangement or bouquet."
Tips for picking the perfect flowers for your partner
Deciding when to send flowers is half the battle — choosing the type of flower is the other 50%.
Ingrilli's advice for choosing the right florals comes down to two succinct words: intentional curation.
“Something that's uniquely curated specifically for them is a big deal," she says. "Yes, people know that flowers aren't always cheap, but it's not about the money as much as it's about the intent behind them.
“People want things customized," she continues. "They want things that make a certain statement, that show [their partner] is willing to go the extra mile."
Above all, Ingrilli advises, “just make it wow."
First date floral suggestions
While there are differing opinions on whether flowers on a first date are appropriate, Ingrilli says she is in favor of the move — as long as the blooms aren't too over the top.
“For a first date, opt for something small and customizable; a hand-tied bouquet is always a great gesture that doesn't come on too strong," Ingrilli says. "Sometimes, a full vase can make a certain statement, whereas a smaller, hand-tied bouquet lets her arrange the flowers as she wants and gives her the lead."
Her go-to flowers for a first date? Rainbow baby's breath, unique garden roses, and a funky filler, such as a parvifolia eucalyptus. An option that is fresh, whimsical, and eclectic represents all the possibilities the relationship has.
'We had a fight' floral suggestions
“When it comes to apology flowers," Ingrilli says, “go big or go home."
Think a big, hand-tied bouquet, maybe a few colorful garden roses, blue hydrangeas — something colorful, bright, and beautiful. She even suggests some unique options, such as pincushion protea or bird-of-paradise.
“If you done messed up," she jokes, “you gotta make it right with something spectacular."
Valentine's Day floral suggestions
Valentine's Day is a big deal, so, unless you two just started dating, don't be afraid to go all out with something bold.
“I love a king protea in a Valentine's Day bouquet," Ingrilli says. “She's a big, bad, beautiful flower, but she's also a statement piece that you can dry and keep forever." That level of sentimentality means a lot on special occasions like Valentine's Day.
Intentionality matters most
For Amy Nobile, a best-selling author and dating coach who runs Love, Amy, picking out what to get your sweetheart is less about the flower type and more about the meaning behind that flower.
When trying to decide on the kind of flower to send for a specific occasion, clear your mind of the expectations that might come with the holiday, event, or thing you're celebrating.
For example, roses are a classic choice for Valentine's Day — but are they the right pick for your partner?
“Tie the flowers into something deeper," Nobile says. “Think about a walk you went on where you saw a gorgeous field of flowers your partner liked. Remember the details.
"What's their favorite flower? I have a friend who told her boyfriend when they first began dating that daises had been her favorite flower since childhood. Now, every time he sends flowers, they're always daisies."
The act of sending flowers is a thoughtful gesture on its own, but if you can show your partner you remember details about them and cherish memories with them through your gift, it becomes that much more meaningful.
What are the best flowers to give on a first date?
For a first date, opt for something small and customizable like a hand-tied bouquet with rainbow baby's breath, unique garden roses, and a funky filler such as parvifolia eucalyptus that doesn't come on too strong.
Should I give red roses on a first date?
Roses are a classic choice, but it's more important to tie the flowers into something deeper about your partner, like remembering their favorite flower or a meaningful memory you've shared together.
When is it appropriate to send flowers while dating?
Flowers are appropriate at the start of a relationship to express feelings without coming on too strong, as well as for specific occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays, no matter what stage of the relationship you're in.
What makes a good "just because" flower gift?
"Just because" flowers should be personalized and say "I see you, and I knew this would make you smile," showing thoughtfulness and effort in expressing your positive regards.
What flowers should I send after a fight?
For apology flowers, go big with a large hand-tied bouquet featuring colorful garden roses, blue hydrangeas, or unique options like pincushion protea or bird-of-paradise.
What's the best approach to choosing flowers for Valentine's Day?
Unless you just started dating, don't be afraid to go bold with statement pieces like king protea, which can be dried and kept forever, adding sentimentality to the occasion.
How can I make flowers more meaningful for my partner?
Remember details about your partner, like their favorite flower or a memory of flowers you saw together on a walk, and incorporate those personal touches into your gift.
Is it better to send flowers in a vase or as a hand-tied bouquet?
A hand-tied bouquet is often a great gesture that doesn't come on too strong, as it lets your partner arrange the flowers as they want and gives them the lead.
AUTHOR
Beginning her writing career as a print journalist, Hanna Marcus worked as a beat reporter and general assignment reporter in newsrooms throughout Florida including The Tampa Bay Times, The Orlando Sentinel, The Naples Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun. Now a full-time freelance writer, she writes for clients such as Hot Topic, New Balance, BoxLunch, and others.
