After the past 2 1/2 years, we’re all looking for activities to satisfy our hunger for community and connection. We human beings are, after all, social creatures. And relationships matter.
With pandemic restrictions largely in the rear-view mirror, there’s no shortage of things to do and experience. But get-togethers require planning and coordination. Everyone wants to go someplace interesting and do something fun – the only questions are “what?” and “where?”
Thousands of people have answered those questions by attending Paint Nite® workshops, which are “paint and sip” events in which an instructor walks you and your friends through how to create your own work of art. People of all ages and skill levels come together for an evening of fun, drinks, and painting.
From painting to plants, and a whole lot more
Dan Hermann cofounded PaintNite.com in 2012 after taking part in a social painting event. “It took me back to some of that childhood joy — being creative, doing something purely for fun, and being at play with other people,” he says. “I saw a path to bringing this alive for people everywhere.”
Since then, Paint Nite has sold more than 10 million event tickets across the U.S. and Canada. It also launched its sister brand, Yaymaker — now the corporate umbrella for Paint Nite — which offers more than 100 customizable corporate and private events across multiple categories.
Like many businesses, Paint Nite experienced challenges when the world shut down during the pandemic; however, it was agile in its response to the situation. “We pivoted into virtual in just a few weeks,” says Hermann, noting that the company grew its online corporate team-building events during the pandemic. “We made it through and kept people connected.”
Although ticketed virtual and on-demand events are still available, the company is refocusing its efforts on in-person creative experiences that include its signature Paint Nite, as well as Plant Nite,Create a Ukulele,chunky blanket making, and much more. “We’re excited to reconnect in person,” Hermann says.
“We want to foster community among our customers and introduce them to our products in a tangible way through experiences,” says Chris McCann, CEO of 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc.
When the pandemic hit, 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc., had just partnered with Alice’s Table (now part of the 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc. family of brands) to facilitate in-person floral-arranging events. Like Paint Nite, Alice’s Table was forced to pivot to a virtual model quickly and continues to successfully deliver virtual and on-demand events to customers nationwide.
“Paint Nite’s in-person offerings are a great complement to the wide array of virtual and on-demand offerings popular with our customers through Alice’s Table,” McCann says.
“We share similar values and philosophies,” Hermann says. “1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc., looks at celebrations and giving; it occupies peoples’ lives, where they are spreading joy and connection. 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc., is such a successful company with so much reach and experience. For us, it’s very attractive to partner with an organization that has such a large and engaged community.”
Having fun and making memories
Paint Nite attendees routinely praise their experiences as “fun,” “upbeat,” “awesome,” and other such glowing adjectives.
“I strongly recommend going — no matter age or skill level. You will not regret it!” says Dennis Casto of the Paint Nite event that he attended at Jake Rooney’s Restaurant in Harwich Port, Massachusetts. “It was a diverse group, and we all had fun and laughed.”
Amber says of the Paint Nite event she attended with friends at Durty Nellie’s Gastropub in Palatine, Illinois: “We had a great time. The host was helpful and friendly, making it easy for a beginner.”
For other Paint Nite enthusiasts, such as Leeyan from Tillsonburg, Ontario, these events hold deeper meaning, serving as vehicles for creating lasting memories. “I have terminal cancer. When my best friend asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told her that all I wanted was more time — time to spend with my loved ones, time to make memories, time to laugh. That year she gave me our first Paint Nite experience. It was just what I wanted and needed.”
Recently, Leeyan went to a paint-pouring experience held by Paint Nite with her friend.
“Even though our efforts may not result in great works of art, we have always had fun, which is why we have become repeat customers,” she says.
A win-win experience
Attendees aren’t the only people who benefit from Paint Nite events. All experiences are run by local host artists, known as event owners. Event owners get to organize and run their own events, and they also benefit monetarily through Paint Nite’s revenue-share program.
Tammy Tavarone-Bishop, the owner of Makers Craft Events, has been hosting live Paint Nites on Long Island and in New Jersey since 2015.
“Being a part of the Paint Nite family is the best place to build a business as a freelance artist,” Tavarone-Bishop says. “It’s a win for everyone involved: a win for the artist, the customer, and the venue!”
Leisure time and hobbies have been part of American life since the Industrial Revolution, when laborers — frustrated with 12- to 16-hour workdays and having to work six days a week — pushed for more reasonable schedules. When the workweek was reduced to 40 hours, people began filling their downtime with fun things to do, and health and well-being became topics of greater focus.
From learning a new skill to creating something handmade, the benefits of hobbies for stress relief can be, in some cases, a literal lifesaver.
Anne Landa
Publisher
The Quarto Group
Fast-forward to today, and overworked employees are still struggling with work-life balance — only now, factory workers have been replaced with busy professionals, who have had to push hobbies to the bottom of their priorities list. The pandemic, however, shifted the collective thinking to the importance of present-moment living and personal enjoyment. Hobbies came back into fashion as a way to practice self-care while keeping us tethered to the outside world.
Breanna Vargas, a bartender and artist in Phoenix, discovered rock painting just before the pandemic. “I collected a few rocks during a hike, painted them, and discovered I may have a knack for this,” she says. “When we went on lockdown, I decided to test the waters.”
Inspired by The Kindness Rocks Project on Instagram, Vargas used her skills to spread a little anonymous joy. “I started painting rocks and leaving them around my apartment complex.” She eventually moved on to making pet portraits for fun, which turned into a side gig. “I was commissioned by a few friends, but I really found that painting was a peaceful outlet for me.”
Hobbies are a bridge to health, connection, and community
As the world returns to normal, our hobbies are now helping us rebuild our connections to one another.
Anne Landa, group publisher with The Quarto Group, a global book publisher specializing in illustrated nonfiction books, understands the transformative impact hobbies can have on our social lives. “The importance of hobbies cannot be overstated, particularly in my specialized area of art and craft,” Landa says. “From learning a new skill to creating something handmade, the benefits of hobbies for stress relief can be, in some cases, a literal lifesaver — especially when they encourage us to create or build connections with others. Knitting circles, community garden projects, art classes — these types of activities allow us to enjoy our hobbies while engaging with like-minded people.”
Yaymaker cofounder and operating chairman Dan Hermann agrees. “Doing something social opens up a lot of pathways to having fun, distracting you from your phone, and trying to be more present with people,” he says.
Calling all artists: It’s your turn to shine
Are you creative with passion and inspiration to share? Then PaintNite.com and 1-800-Flowers.com have an exciting opportunity for you. We want to see your original flower paintings, and the public will pick their favorite.
Submissions are being accepted through Oct. 20, and voting will take place from Oct. 21-24. The winner will be announced on Oct. 25.
Whether we spend a few minutes a day or several hours per week on our leisure activities, Amanda Craig, Ph.D., LMFT, founder of Manhattan Marriage and Family Therapy in New York City and author of the forthcoming book Who Are You & What Have You Done with My Kid?, believes hobbies “should be a mandatory part of our lifestyle.” Our participation in both group and individual hobbies, Dr. Craig says, “releases a variety of chemical messengers in the brain that leads to better mental wellness.”
She notes that participating in an activity we enjoy also goes a long way toward improving our general outlook on ourselves. “When we engage in hobbies, we feel alive, creative, confident, and happy. We also feel more in touch with ourselves, which builds confidence and self-worth.”
Meet your next favorite pastime
Ready to take on a new hobby but don’t know where to start? Dr. Craig suggests looking inward: “It may be something that has been nudging you for a while but you have pushed to the side,” she says, adding that hobbies don’t have to be elaborate to be beneficial. “It could be movement, like stretching, walking, yoga, weights, or other physical activity. It could be spending time in nature simply enjoying the smells, sights, and sounds. The ideas are endless. Sit for a moment and see what speaks to you.”
Whether you join a book club, volunteer with children or the elderly, or start a local theater group, there are dozens of activities that help build greater social connections. Here are a few more to consider:
Learn a musical instrument
Take up a new instrument, or dust off an old one and get back to playing. Once you feel confident in your abilities, attend a local open mic night and let it all hang out. Better yet, get your old garage band back together!
“My 13-year-old daughter, Angie, discovered what she wants to do with the rest of her life. During the pandemic, she was gifted a guitar that she plays every single day. She writes songs and sings. I’m so grateful for it.” – Kristine S., New York
Feed your culinary cravings
Whether authentic Mexican fare suits your palate or you have a keenness for ramen, you surely can find an outlet for your gastronomic passion. Share your talents with friends and family by hosting a fancy dinner party.
“I learned Moroccan cooking. This hobby introduced me to new words, customs, and flavors. The first time I served it to guests in my home, everybody loved it, so it’s even improved my social life!” – Andrea B., Los Angeles
Baking & decorating cookies
Break out the bowls, spoons, and pastry tubes filled with icing! Baking and decorating cookies is a fun hobby for family members of all ages to do together. Cheryl’s Cookies makes it easy to get started, thanks to its cookie doughs and expanded its DIY dessert kit offerings.
Baking Cheryl’s cookies at home, allows customers to interact with familiar products in new ways, says senior director, merchandising for Cheryl’s.
“It’s that same gourmet experience. The difference is that we’re allowing people to use their own personal touch in what they make,” she says. “They can make their own designs, decorate them how they want, and even make cookie cakes if they choose.”
Get out and move
Outdoor activities are not only good for the body but the soul as well. Take up tennis, join a softball team, or organize a long-distance hiking trip.
Create beautiful bouquets
Do you love flowers and think you have an eye for mixing colors and textures? Then attend an online floral-arranging workshop and learn to arrange fresh flowers like a pro. You’ll pick up new techniques while spending quality time with friends (or just yourself).
Design a charcuterie board
Attend an award-winning workshop that will show you how to make an attractive arrangement of meats, cheeses, and other foods on a board, and then host a wine and cheese party.
Make a masterpiece
If you’ve always wanted to tap into your artistic side but don’t know where to start, a “paint and sip” class might be just what you’re looking for. PaintNite.com offers in-person, virtual, and on-demand events that bring people together for an evening of creativity and connection.
“Paintnite.com events are mini escapes for the soul! They fill the artist’s passion and creates a fun activity for the local communities to enjoy a night out with friends or family.” – Tammy Tavarone-Bishop, Long Island, New York
Try a little this and that
Don’t limit yourself to just one hobby. Experiment with a variety of activities that bring you joy and enrich your life while bringing you into contact with a social network.
“During the last year and a bit, I have taken up adult ballet and tap dancing, and have weekly French lessons. I love it! I’m finally doing something for myself again, and it feels good.”– Donna W., United Kingdom
Ever trample a loved one’s spirit because you ignored a simple request…or worse? Maybe you forgot an anniversary, broke a promise, or spoke hurtful words in anger or frustration. We’ve all been there, to one degree or another. Unfortunately, we tend to hurt the ones we care about most.
Whether you haven’t been pulling your weight around the house, consistently show up late, or kept a big secret, by following these eight steps, you can smooth things over with a significant other you have wronged.
1. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes
Painting a picture of your loved one’s hurt evokes empathy and compassion, which leads to a thoughtful apology, says Amanda Craig, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Darien, Connecticut. “Really try to imagine what your partner experienced,” she says.
Accountability should be paramount in your apology. Instead of shifting the blame, clearly and sincerely take responsibility for your actions.
Eros Miranda
Relationship coach and host of the Eros to the Heart podcast
Part of the apology process is recognizing your role in the issue. “You must start by reflecting on the actions that contributed to the problem,” says relationship coach Eros Miranda, a TikTok influencer and host of the Eros to the Heart podcast.
Choose your timing wisely, Miranda recommends. Ask your significant other when is a good time to talk. “Your partner might be in need of space, so prioritize creating a safe and respectful environment,” she says.
2. Be genuine
“People on the receiving end of an apology can tell if it’s heartfelt or just words,” Craig warns. After you’ve taken time to reflect, choose words that are simple, straightforward, specific, and sensitive.
“When making an apology, the main key is to own up and admit that you made a mistake and say that you will work on doing better next time,” says relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio.
3. Take ownership of your role
Admit to your partner you know what you did; trying to underplay your role in your partner’s pain or frustration only exacerbates the problem. “Accountability should be paramount in your apology,” Miranda advises. “Instead of shifting the blame, clearly and sincerely take responsibility for your actions.”
Stick with just these two words: I’m sorry. “Pairing an apology with the ‘why’ often waters down the apology,” Craig says. You might have an explanation for why, but you shouldn’t make excuses. Keep the focus on what matters — that you feel empathy for the person you’ve mistreated.
4. Use the right words
Sometimes we don’t phrase our apologies correctly, and that can make matters worse.
Craig suggests keeping it simple. Her recommendations: “I realize when I said X, that hurt your feelings. I am sorry.” Or, “I didn’t get it at the time, but as I’ve reflected, I see when I did X, it made you feel Y. I’m sorry.”
Miranda agrees. A good apology, he says, might look like this: “I take responsibility for my actions because it was wrong of me to act that way. I should have realized how those actions would not only affect you but our relationship. However, I know that words are not enough. So, if it’s OK with you, I would love to sit down and try to find a compromise on how to fix it. I am ready to listen to you, respect your perspective, and be guided by your needs.”
Conversely, he says, a bad apology might sound like this: “Here we go again. You’re always starting things. I might have made a mistake, but it’s your fault I acted that way. I’m sorry you feel hurt, but you shouldn’t be surprised or angry. Let’s not worry about this anymore and just get over it instead, OK?”
5. Gifts are welcome
Having a talk, penning a note, writing a poem — these are all welcome ways of saying sorry. But a gift can really show your partner how much you care about their feelings. And the experts agree that knowing your loved one’s most treasured flowers is the ultimate show of connection.
Be thoughtful with a gift. “Instead of just saying you are sorry, accompany that apology with their favorite flowers and a note recognizing your mistakes and expressing how much they mean to you,” Miranda says.
And don’t underestimate the importance of special time together as a treat. “A surprise weekend getaway is a wonderful way to say ‘I’m sorry,’ especially if the reason you are apologizing is due to a lack of prioritizing the other person and the relationship,” Bronstein says. “Your gesture will mean that you will be spending more time together to bond and build up a better connection.”
Just don’t overdo it. Sending flowers with every apology shows a lack of understanding and intimacy. “You don’t want to give the same gift every time you say you’re sorry, especially if it’s frequently, because the gift will lose its meaning,” she says.
6. Give space for your partner to respond
Your partner may not be able to forgive you for certain things right away, and that’s OK. “They might want to reaffirm boundaries or perhaps ask for more space, but it is imperative to give them the opportunity to express their needs,” Miranda says. “This is your opportunity to not only make amends but to grow as you learn from your mistakes.” Take time to listen to them.
7. Think beyond today
Your relationship is bigger than this one issue. “Forward thinking helps your partner feel like you care enough to think about the future,” Craig says. “Use statements like ‘Next time I will do X instead’ or ‘I think in the future I want to do X because I care about your feelings.'” And then, follow through. Otherwise, your apologies are vacuous.
Verbal apologies are important, but your behavior is what your partner will notice. If you say I’m sorry for leaving your shoes in front of the door, but you continue to leave them there every day after work, your words mean nothing.
“After an apology, you need to show your significant other that you have changed, and the only true tell-tale sign that you have changed is time,” Bronstein says. “That’s why it’s important to say, ‘Please, let me show you that I can do better. I know it will take time, but I promise you won’t have to deal with this again. Once again, I am truly sorry.'”
Words flow easily for some. You may say the right things but not show that you respect your partner by hearing their hurt and making meaningful change. “A genuinely remorseful partner is one that is willing to show you with actions, not just words, that they are accountable and ready to make amends,” Miranda says.
You’ve just been asked to deliver a wedding toast. Suddenly, you feel more jittery than the bride and groom. How will you pull this speech off?
That’s what rushed through the mind of Kris Dabrowski of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, when a friend invited him to not only give a wedding toast but be master of ceremonies.
Feeling like your toast absolutely has to be funny only adds to the tension and nervousness, so if you’re not a naturally funny person, don’t use it.
Arden Clise
President of Clise Etiquette
Author of Spinach in Your Boss’s Teeth: Essential Etiquette for Professional Success
“From the time I was asked to the time I started emceeing, I was nervous,” Dabrowski says. “But by preparing in advance, I found that once I was actually doing it, every minute started getting better and more comfortable.”
Giving a wedding toast is similar to being an emcee in that it involves public speaking — though without the stress of stage managing the entire show. So what is it about speaking at weddings in particular that gets people so worked up?
“Besides the public speaking aspect, weddings are such a special moment in time, and nowadays there’s a good chance your toast will be captured and shared on social media, which takes the pressure and anxiety level even higher,” says Margaret Page, president-elect of Toastmasters International.
But here’s some encouraging news: As long as the toast request wasn’t made two minutes before the event, you can write a killer speech and deliver it like a pro. Just follow these simple guidelines, a template, and rules of etiquette.
Let’s get to work
The key thing to keep in mind before you even start writing your speech is that the bride and groom are the heroes of this story, not you. “Anything you can do to elevate them, present them in a different light, or help people get to know them a little bit better should be the focus of the toast,” says Arden Clise, president of Clise Etiquette and author of Spinach in Your Boss’s Teeth: Essential Etiquette for Professional Success.
Start with a strong opening statement, such as your connection to the couple. Then think short and sweet — no more than three points to cover and no more than three minutes to deliver. Otherwise, you’ll lose your audience, even the guests of honor.
As you brainstorm, here are some questions to ask yourself:
What does the person (or persons) you’re toasting mean to you?
Are there some treasured moments you’ve spent together that would be nice to share?
What’s the overall message you want to convey?
What kind of audience are you addressing, and how do you want them to feel when they hear your toast?
You might want to share stories or anecdotes that speak to why the couple is a good fit or highlight aspects that the audience would find interesting, uplifting, endearing, or funny. “It’s even OK to share something that’s slightly embarrassing, as long as it doesn’t hurt the person’s character,” Clise says. So, the amusing and relatable story about the time you and the bride botched a bread recipe is fine — revealing her darkest spring break secret is not.
Other things to avoid are bad language, vulgarity, and anything that could offend someone’s race, ethnicity, gender, orientation, culture, or religion. Humor is great, but don’t feel pressured to use it. “Feeling like your toast absolutely has to be funny only adds to the tension and nervousness, so if you’re not a naturally funny person, don’t use it,” Clise says.
Above all, you should strive to make the toast genuine and inspiring, and provide hope for the couple’s bright future together. “That level of authenticity is something that the couple will remember for the rest of their lives,” Page says.
There’s a tendency for people who have not done a lot of public speaking to rush. But that gets the internal emotions going and the heart racing, when the opposite is what’s desired to deliver a good speech.
Margaret Page
President-elect
Toastmasters International
It’s time to deliver
Now that you’ve written your toast, it’s time to prepare your delivery. Here are seven tips to help it go smoothly.
1. Practice, practice, practice
Rehearse your toast well ahead of time — in front of the mirror, on video, or in front of someone who can provide feedback. “You don’t have to memorize the whole speech, but it definitely needs to be well rehearsed,” Clise says. It’s fine to use note cards with a table of contents or some trigger words to help keep you on track, but stay away from reading a script word for word.
2. Scope things out
Try to find out ahead of time where in the toasting order you are. Also, find out about the audio system and be sure to test it out ahead of time. “There’s nothing worse than trying to speak and having tech problems prevent you from being heard,” Clise says.
3. Take some deep breaths
Prepare yourself by taking some long, deep breaths while the toaster immediately ahead of you is speaking. “That helps to take you out of your head, where the anxiety hits, and back into your body,” Page says.
When it’s your turn to speak, take a moment to settle in, breathe, smile, and look around at the audience. “You want the feeling of ease and comfort, so don’t feel you have to jump in and start speaking right away,” Page says.
4. Take your time
“There’s a tendency for people who have not done a lot of public speaking to rush,” Page says. “But that gets the internal emotions going and the heart racing, when the opposite is what’s desired to deliver a good speech.”
So, speak slightly slower than your normal speech rate. Not only will it help keep you calm, but it will also ensure everyone understands you — including people whose first language isn’t English.
5. Remember eye contact
As you speak, look either at the person or persons you’re toasting or at the audience — not at your shoes, the floor, your hands, or elsewhere. “This will make it seem like you’re looking everyone in the eyes,” Clise says.
6. Stay sober
Avoid alcohol until after you have delivered your toast — but do make sure you have something in your glass to sip when the time comes to “drink to” the bride and groom.
7. Don’t be thrown off by the unexpected
Finally, as much as we try to prepare, remember Murphy’s Law. The mic may drop, a drunken guest starts heckling, or the server dumps a tray of dishes on the floor. “If something like that happens to you, just pause, allow the attention to go to that moment, and then try to get the floor back,” Clise says.
By preparing in advance and following these tips, you can pull off the wedding toast like a pro and make the couple’s special day extra special.
Graduating from college is a major achievement, one that marks the end of an era and opens a world of exciting opportunities. So when you sit down to craft the perfect message for a graduation card, you want to get it right.
Whether your grad is earning a degree or a professional title, their hard work and dedication deserve words of recognition. If you’re not sure about what to write, we have plenty of ideas for you, from formal messages to inspirational quotes.
Tips for graduation card messages
First, recognize that any kind of graduation is a huge milestone, and acknowledging it as such can bring joy and excitement to the recipient. The special student in your life is about to enter a new phase in life, so warm wishes are a must. A simple “Congratulations!” is fine, but considering everything they’ve gone through to get to this point, providing them with words that are a little more supportive or inspiring is warranted.
“Focus on the message, avoid clichés, and try to be authentic and personable,” says Maryanne Parker, etiquette expert and founder of Manor of Manners. She says it also makes sense to focus on the exciting and challenging adventure that lies ahead. “Express confidence in their desire to excel. Remind them that every great journey begins with the first step.”
In general, be encouraging and enthusiastic when writing out a graduation card, as positive words can go a long way. While ready-to-use graduation quotes are easy, a personal message that shows the giver put real, genuine thought into it can be truly memorable for the graduate.
“Many times, our messages express the emotions we feel at that very moment,” Parker says. “This leaves the recipient with beautiful, unforgettable, and meaningful memories.”
No matter what kind of graduation you’re celebrating, the heartfelt expressions below will get you started on helping the grad in your life go confidently in the direction of their dreams.
Casual graduation messages
What a ride it has been! You should be very proud of yourself. Hats off to you!
Fulfilling your dreams is one of the most satisfying experiences in life. Congratulations! I cannot wait to see what life has in store for you!
Here’s to your next adventure. May it be as awesome as you are.
What an impressive achievement! This calls for a celebration. Congrats, grad!
May your cap fly as high as your dreams. Congratulations!
Formal graduation messages
Congratulations on your well-deserved success.
Here’s to a bright future. Congratulations!
Warmest congratulations on your graduation.
Be bold, be courageous, be your best. Congratulations!
Congratulations on your graduation, and best wishes for your next grand adventure.
Encouraging graduation messages
Following your dreams requires dedication, passion, and sacrifice. We can’t wait to see you accomplish everything you set out to do.
Congratulations on your graduation. Your next adventure awaits, and we’re excited to see where it leads you. Nothing can stop you now.
Today is one of the most amazing moments of your life. Congratulations!
Never stop growing, exploring, learning, and challenging yourself.
Graduation isn’t the end of a long journey but the beginning of a beautiful one. Start each day believing in yourself, and watch the magic happen.
Good looks, brains, lots of heart, and now a degree? You’ve got it all! Congrats!
The tassel was worth the hassle! Congratulations!
You deserve all kinds of high fives and hugs! Congrats, grad!
I lost a bet. You graduated.
Cap, gown, it’s going down! Congratulations!
Inspirational graduation quotes
“That clock you hear is the sound of your own heart. Sink your teeth into this life, and don’t get let go.” — Lin-Manuel Miranda
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” — Steve Jobs
“Don’t be afraid. Be focused. Be determined. Be hopeful. Be empowered.” — Michelle Obama
“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” — Thomas Jefferson
“We do not need magic to change the world; we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already. We have the power to imagine better.” — J. K. Rowling
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain
“The most effective way to do it is to do it.” — Amelia Earhart
“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” — Babe Ruth
“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” — Abraham Lincoln
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” — MahatmaGandhi
Whether a neighbor brought in your mail while you were on vacation or your friends spent an afternoon helping you move, showing your appreciation for their generosity is a must. But sometimes — even though you are truly thankful — expressing your gratitude may not come naturally. In fact, it can be downright awkward.
Fortunately, sending a gift is a way to say a lot without many words. Sometimes, though, the process of giving a thank you gift isn’t so straightforward. What if they don’t like it? Will they use it?Is this enough? These thoughts can make the act of sending a thank you gift more complicated than it needs to be.
To ease your mind, we’ve rounded up four tips to take the awkwardness out of sending a thank you gift.
1. Choose a gift your recipient will love
Choosing a thank you gift requires thought and creativity. “The primary reason we get a thank you gift is to show appreciation, which means taking the time to find something the receiver will enjoy,” says Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. Selecting a gift that aligns with the recipient’s interests is key.
“Thank you gifts are from the heart,” Gottsman says. “If they love a particular flower or plant, then that’s the perfect choice. If they’re a baker, get them something related to that passion you know they will use and enjoy.”
If you can’t decide whether to have the gift delivered or give it in person, know this: Both are acceptable. “Choosing to deliver it is perfectly appropriate; everyone has different schedules,” Gottsman says. “Of course, if you’re going to meet them for a cocktail or lunch, a beautifully wrapped gift is always a wonderful presentation.”
2. What to write in a thank you note
If someone has gone out of their way for you, then including written words along with your gift makes the gesture that much more meaningful. Gottsman says a thank you gift should always include a heartfelt thank you note. Whether you handwrite a letter or include a gift tag with the recipient’s name and a short message, making it personal gives it a special touch.
Not sure where to start? Here are two examples that may help you.
Dear [Name],
Thank you so much for [favor/act of kindness]. You’re an amazing person, and your generosity means a lot to me. I know how much you love [reason you chose the gift], so when I saw this [gift], I knew I had to get it for you. Enjoy!
[Your Name]
—
[Name],
Thank you for [favor/act of kindness]!
3. What to say when giving a gift
The late motivational writer William Arthur Ward said: “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” Truer words have rarely been spoken.
Verbally letting someone know how grateful you are for their generosity is a lovely gesture they’re sure to appreciate. If you’re at a loss for words when presenting a thank you gift, then it is best to keep it short and simple.
Here are five examples of messages that you can use when presenting your gift.
I got you something. I hope you like it!
I thought you might like this for helping me out.
I’m so grateful for you! I got you something for [favor/act of kindness].
Here’s a little something for [favor/act of kindness].
You’re the best for [favor/act of kindness]! Here’s a gift to thank you.
4. Put effort into expressing thanks but don’t overthink it
When it comes to choosing a thank you gift, let the recipient’s interests guide your choices. Consider who they are and what their interests are, and then keep your selection in line with something you know they’ll love. Ironically, putting too much thought into it can lead to choosing a gift that represents your own ideas of the recipient instead of something the recipient would actually want.
“The effort you spend on a gift will be noticed and appreciated,” Gottsman says. “The bottom line is to put your heart in it.”
A thank you gift is a wonderful way to show your appreciation while leaving a lasting impression. Sending a thank you gift, such as wine, sweet treats, personalized gifts, or thank you baskets, is never a bad idea, and even the smallest gesture can go a long way. Gratitude never goes out of style.
Our series “Cultivating Compassion” explores how you can be more empathetic and compassionate toward yourself and others. In this article, we feature Rora Blue, founder of The Unsent Project, and tap into her discoveries about the power of unsent messages.
Rora Blue of The Unsent Project
A feeling hits you hard. Maybe it’s sadness. Maybe it’s longing. Maybe it’s a residual echo of happiness you can’t control from a memory that you haven’t thought of in a long while. Whatever it is, it gives you pause.
You reach for your phone, eager to tap something out in a text to the person the emotion is tied to. Maybe you pour your heart out in paragraphs. Maybe it’s just a few, simple words you’ve been aching to say — a few words that could make all the difference.
You type it out. You delete it and type it again. You read it back to yourself in the glowing light of your phone.
All of that emotional somersaulting brought you here, to this place where a simple click could reconnect you to whomever it is that you wish to be connected to, for better or worse. But you don’t click “send.” It becomes another text that has gone unsent for a myriad of deeper, emotional reasons.
Most of us have done it, and even if we haven’t, almost all of us can probably relate to that feeling. It’s a longing for a connection. A longing to say something to someone so badly. But in the end, we just can’t do it.
Enter: The Unsent Project
For Rora Blue, that longing was something she couldn’t stop thinking about. So much so that it led to her starting a small project on Tumblr in 2015 called The Unsent Project, a place where users could anonymously submit unsent messages that they never got to send.
“I was thinking a lot about texts that never get sent. I had some and I wondered if other people did too. To my surprise, the project grew and then grew some more.
Rora blue
Founder
The Unsent Project
The submissions are collected and stored on the website for others to view and search through. When people started submitting to the project, she became interested in exploring the emotions of the would-be senders. “I wanted to learn more about this, so I asked each submitter to pair their text message submission with a color.”
The project aims to be an outlet of expression for those who need it, and it catapulted into the spotlight quickly. Over the last seven years, it has amassed over five million unsent messages, clearly resonating with people the same way it resonated with Blue.
When it first started, it felt more like a personal project to Blue because it was coming from her own experience of having texts she couldn’t send. Blue later realized it was a feeling that most people could understand and relate to.
“I was thinking a lot about texts that never get sent. I had some and I wondered if other people did too,” she said. “To my surprise, the project grew and then grew some more.”
Getting to know Rora Blue, Creator of The Unsent Project
Blue is a full-time artist who specializes in visual art, mostly in installation and oft sculpture. In the last several years, Blue’s work has been exhibited nationally and internationally.
She received her bachelor’s of fine arts from the San Francisco Art Institute and is currently pursuing a master’s degree at the University of Nevada, Reno. As an artist, she’s always trying to think about the world around her, the emotions she feels, and the ways she can tap into expression — especially self-expression.
The Unsent Project taught Blue more about connecting and expressing than she ever expected. She explains that unsent messages have helped her understand captivating and meaningful things about people and the connections they make, and how that innate human connection relates to the importance of self-expression.
“I look at strangers differently now,” she said. “Every person is going through something whether they openly say it or not. This project has also opened my eyes to how communities can be built in digital spaces.”
What it means to connect
For Blue, the project proved to be reflective of something she already believed: Connection is everything. “The Unsent Project connects people with their emotions by providing an outlet of expression for texts that have nowhere else to go,” she said. “I think connecting with and processing your emotions is extremely important. Sometimes it’s just about saying how you feel, and it doesn’t necessarily matter if anyone is listening.”
Rora Blue’s emphasis on self-expression and connection can be shown and received in a myriad of ways. Blue chose a few unique gifts and expressions of love that best highlight precious connection.
Powerful emotions are something we long for and need when it comes to creating and maintaining deep, nurturing relationships. Blue emphasizes how critical self-expression is. Always find an opportunity to share your emotions, feelings, and sentiments to those around you in any and every way we can.
For more than a decade, musician and TV host John Tesh has been offering advice and guidance through his “Intelligence for Your Life” radio broadcasts. The short segments now reach more than 8.2 million listeners per week across the U.S., Canada, and the UK.
Letting a loved one know that they can count on you during a time of healing is a great way to show you care. A well-written get well message serves as a thoughtful gesture that can make a difference for someone going through difficult times. It’s not always easy finding the words to write in a get-well card, but whatever you write, the simple gesture of reaching out will go a long way toward lifting that person’s spirits.
It’s fine to keep the message short. Before you start writing, think about your relationship with the person, and the nature of their illness or injury. Would they appreciate a humorous note? Or perhaps they will be touched by a spiritual quote. Don’t be afraid to say how much you care. Your friend or loved one will appreciate your kindness, and by reaching out to someone in need, you’ll feel better, too.
For more ideas on thoughtful messages to write in your get-well card, Visit 1-800-Flowers.com/Tesh. Share the healing gift of love today!
When we feel for someone else, that’s empathy. Maybe you have a friend or loved one who’s going through a difficult time and you want to show them you care and that you’re there to listen. You can express empathy through words and actions – like giving a hug, sending flowers, or offering to pick up dinner for them. When you do those things, you’re acknowledging their pain and that helps the other person feel loved and supported.
Empathy is all about being able to understand how someone is feeling from their point of view. So when you see a friend or loved one going through a hard time, you immediately want to help in some way. That’s because the emotions they’re feeling become your own in a way.
So why not send them a beautiful gift from 1-800-Flowers, like The Gratitude Jar, or the Friend Windchime? 1-800-Flowers can craft a gift to fit any price point.
When you hear that a friend or family member is under the weather, you may not know what to do or say, but you do want to be there for them. Times have changed, and while you may not be able to care for them physically, you can still bring them joy!
Finding your own meaningful way to connect, when you can’t visit in person, is even more important during these difficult times.
Start a Meal Train to ensure that the sick and shut-in are always well fed whether from homemade meals or local restaurants.
Send them flowers to boost their mood and help kick-start the healing process. Don’t be afraid of color, as studies show that brightly colored flowers can actually make people happier! Try seasonal arrangements that reflect what they see out their window and bring it indoors.
Any gesture of reaching out will go a long way toward lifting that person’s spirits.
Has this ever happened to you? You’re in a conversation with a friend, and you’re telling someone about your crappy day or your ridiculous coworker. Or maybe you’re telling them that you ate a slice of mediocre cheesecake this afternoon and boom, you’re thrown off your superficial rant.
Why? Because suddenly you’re having visions of your mother’s famous cheesecake that she made every year for a spring party. You miss that cheesecake. You miss your mother. You just got hit with a wall of emotion, and now you’re kind of teary eyed but also a little embarrassed and somewhat anxious that you might be judged for bringing that up again.
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And what’s your friend supposed to do at this moment? Tell you she’s sorry? Heck no! It’s been eight years and you’re still choking up about cheesecake. What good will her telling you sorry do for you today?
What helps the most is just being a great listener. All you need in this moment is to be heard, to be understood, and to be able to experience whatever feelings you are experiencing without piling on others like shame, discomfort or awkwardness.
In times of high emotion, this little act of just listening has big, transformative powers. Simply put, a great listener doesn’t have to say much to make you feel better. In fact, a great listener barely says anything at all. If they did, they wouldn’t be listening. So how do people actually become great listeners? The good news is, it’s easy to do at any age.
There are several ways a person can work on their listening skills. Active Listening, a subset of high-level interpersonal communications skills, is particularly well known for its transformative powers. When a person engages in Active Listening, he or she is focused almost exclusively on the other person.
The following elements are key when practicing Active Listening:
Understand that this isn’t a conversation in the normal sense of the word. The person speaking should be talking 70-80% of the time. When the listener speaks, it’s usually to ask a question to draw out more of the person’s experience, or to clarify something that has been said.
Demonstrate genuine empathy for the other person. As they speak, imagine what they could be feeling or thinking. Pretend you are right there with them. When it’s your turn to speak, your responses will naturally mimic these complex emotions.
Don’t just wait to talk and blurt out something profound that you’ve been cooking up while the other person told you their sob story. This isn’t a competition about whose comment is the most insightful, sad, or meaningful. Your goal isn’t to add words to the conversation; it’s to create a supportive and caring framework for the other person to feel comfortable sharing what’s on their mind.
Show you really heard what the other person said. Reflect the content of their story by parroting it back to them, or by paraphrasing in your own words. If I said, “I’m sad because I don’t have her cheesecake anymore,” a good response would be, “You haven’t had your mother’s cheesecake in a long time.” It might sound plain and unadorned, but it works.
Pay close attention and resist the urge to check your phone or change the topic. Offer reassuring words or phrases as the other person speaks. When uttered genuinely, fillers like “mmhmm”, “OK,” and “I see” let the other person know you’re still present.
Try not to interrupt. Yes, we all do it sometimes, but when a person is hurting, it’s doubly rude. Just keep your comments to yourself by any means possible.
Be OK with long pauses. Since you’re not interrupting, and you’re letting the other person talk the majority of the time, you’ll likely feel a bit of a slower pace to the conversation. This is OK. Long pauses give the other person time to fill in the blanks, share with you more information, and process out loud the emotions inside.
Overall, a great listener makes the other person feel like they are the only one in the world; a feeling that’s rare in these days of continual sensory overload. A great listener helps the other person get to the core of what’s bothering them at that moment, so they can verbalize it and start to move forward. A great listener knows that when you’re on another one of your cheesecake tangents, the best thing to do is support you as you re-experience your deep loss fully and completely in that moment, cherry topping and all.
A version of this piece originally ran on modernloss.com.
The Healing Power of Flowers
Is your significant other sick in bed? Do you have a colleague recovering from surgery? Maybe someone you care about is under the weather, and you want them to know they’re on your mind. It can be a challenge to show your support to those working to get well. The classic answer is still the best answer: Flowers.
That’s because flowers are scientifically proven to have mental and physical benefits to those who are sick. A recent study from Kansas State University found that patients in hospital rooms brightened with flowers and potted plants needed less pain medication, had lower blood pressure and pulse rates, were less anxious and tired, and were in a more positive mood than patients in rooms without flowers.
This just goes to show: The power of flowers is real!
How to Spruce Up Your Home with Plants
Looking to spruce up your home décor or liven up your home office? You can bridge the gap between the indoors and out by adding a houseplant!
Plants have many health benefits, from reducing stress to aiding in recovery, and they can liven up any room in your home. Snake plants purify the air and remove harmful chemicals to keep you and your family safe. Plus, they are easy to care for, the perfect plant to add to your bedroom.
Money Tree plants can thrive in any environment and are said to bring good luck and fortune to those who care for them, perfect for your living room space. An aloe plant is a great addition to your kitchen, and you can apply the gel from the leaves directly to the skin to help soothe those cooking burns.
Don’t have a green thumb? No problem! Succulent gardens require minimal care and light and are a fun way to create a mini-garden right inside your home!
Sending flowers or a plant is not only a thoughtful gesture, it’s also something that can help your loved one heal.
John Tesh
Intelligence for Your Life
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when a loved one is under the weather or recovering from surgery? It probably starts with wanting them to feel better, then becomes, “What can I do to help?”
According to a study done by the American Society for Horticultural Science, patients who have flowers or plants in their rooms had lower blood pressure and heart rates than patients without. They also found that flowers increased positive feelings and reduced worrisome thoughts.
So, sending flowers or a plant is not only a thoughtful gesture, it’s also something that can help your loved one heal. And beyond flowers, you can send get-well gift baskets filled with chicken noodle soup, cookies, tea, and a word search puzzle to help lift their spirits. Our “Friend on the Mend” gift basket delivers all that, and a smile!
How Plants Affect Your Mood & Productivity
After a long day, there’s nothing like walking into your home and taking a moment to relax. We put a lot of work into making our spaces comfortable, and adding indoor plants can make a big difference. Being surrounded by greenery prompts an immediate mood lift — and lowers your risk of depression. According to the University of Michigan, our brains are naturally primed to release feel-good chemicals in the presence of nature, and it also triggers a relaxation response — even when we’re stressed.
Being near greenery also increases our ability to concentrate, makes us more productive, and boosts memory by 20%. A NASA study found that some common indoor plants can remove pollutants in the air, moreover. For example, Peace Lilies absorb airborne substances, like ammonia, to help you breathe easier. Pilea plants are low-maintenance, purify the air in your home, and even produce offspring you can re-pot and give to a friend.
No matter what your lifestyle is, indoor plants can liven up your home or workspace.
“Modern Expressions” is a series that helps you to find the perfect words when writing cards or letters. In this article, we provide tips on how to write a thank you note with 25 examples.
Receiving gifts or acts of kindness — whether big or small — feels wonderful. It’s a show of care, thoughtfulness, and love. When you receive a gift or are on the receiving end of a kind act from someone, it’s natural to want to return the favor and let them know how much you appreciate the gesture.
Thank you cards are a splendid way to express your gratitude. However, it’s easy to get overwhelmed when you sit down to write a thank you note. If you’re trying to write the perfect thank you or are unsure if you should send one in the first place, our comprehensive guide about thank you notes will help.
What to say in a thank you note
When starting your thank you note, think about how you feel. The goal of your note is to let the other person know how their actions have impacted you. So, consider your feelings and go from there. “Just write it and send it,” says Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert at The Protocol School of Texas.
“Sometimes, we let the pressure of [thank you] cards allow us to let time-lapse, and then we never send them,” says Gottsman. “The most important thing to do is to complete it!”
Gottsman notes that it’s better to express whatever we’re feeling, even if it’s not as elegant as we would like than nothing at all. “It’s easy to put off a thank you note when you don’t know what to say,” she says. “But write from your heart — even in your chicken scratch handwriting — to show that you appreciate someone’s kindness, generosity, and thought.”
Deciding what to write in your thank you is solely dependent on the context. What gift was given? What act of kindness was bestowed? What was the occasion? Who was the giver?
Answering these simple questions will give you the foundation on which to craft your personalized thank you note. Be sure to mention what it is you are thankful for, why it is meaningful to you, and how grateful you are for the gesture.
“Thank you notes show that you appreciate the effort or the kindness someone extended to you,” Gottsman says. “They’re an effort on your part to acknowledge what another person did for you and to continue to build relationships with the people who are special to you.”
When to send thank you notes
Of course, it’s not necessary to send a thank you note every time someone does something nice for you. Here are five occasions when it’s necessary to send a thank you card.
Whether it’s a baby shower, a bridal brunch, or a big birthday celebration, let your hardworking hosts know you appreciate them with a thank you note. Get started with these ideas:
Thank you for hosting such a fabulous [type of event] for me. Your attention to detail, from the delicious food to the fun party games, still makes me smile.
I am beyond grateful for you. Thank you so much for making my big day extra special.
The thought and care you put into planning my [type of event] meant the world to me. Thank you for such a wonderful day. I’ll remember it forever.
Thank you for being part of such a big moment in my life. It was perfect because of you.
Thank you for celebrating my [type of event] with me. I feel so loved!
What to write in a thank you note after a job interview
In certain professional contexts, thank you notes are an appropriate demonstration of appreciation. One professional occasion that necessitates a thank you note is after a job interview.
“Surprisingly, not a lot of candidates send thank you notes anymore, so when they do it sticks out,” says Dannerys Fuccillo of 1-800-Flowers.com’s human resources department. “Some hiring managers pay very close attention to how well and how quickly a candidate writes a thank you email after an interview.”
Make sure you have the interviewer’s email address and follow up with a thank you note after the interview. Your note should start with a salutation, such as “Dear [Interviewer name].” You should also address the interviewer with the name they provided when you met, and the body of your message should start with an expression of gratitude.
“A thank you email doesn’t need to be long and drawn out,” says Fuccillo. “Just a quick, simple email thanking the interviewer for their time and reiterating their excitement for the role; should suffice.”
Make an impression
If a candidate wants to stand out, they should be more specific in the note. Fuccillo recommends using examples from their interview that show they paid attention. Reiterate what a great fit you’d be and provide examples/solutions to anything that was discussed during the interview and how you can add value.
Stationery, stamps, and mailing a letter in a postbox may seem like symbols from an antiquated time but a letter delivered by mail is like receiving a flower delivery — it feels special. “Personally, my absolute favorite is the handwritten thank you. I’ve received a few in my time here, and I’ve kept a lot of them!” Fuccillo says.
Not sure how to get started? See the examples below.
Thank you for taking the time to discuss the [job title] position with me today. My [expertise] skills make me an excellent candidate for this role. Please don’t hesitate to contact me to arrange a follow-up interview.
Thanks again for taking the time to meet with me [insert day]. I enjoyed our conversation about the [job title] role. I look forward to discussing this opportunity with you more. Please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Thank you for taking the time to interview me this morning. The [job title] role sounds rewarding, especially given the leadership opportunities. I look forward to discussing this opportunity further with you.
Thanks so much for taking the time to talk with me today. Our conversation about the [job title] role was inspiring, and it was great to learn more about the position. Thanks to my years in the industry, I think I’d make an ideal candidate. I look forward to speaking with you again soon.
Thank you for taking the time to speak with me about the [job title] position this morning. It was inspiring to have such an in-depth conversation about the responsibilities and future of the role. The details you shared convinced me I’d make an ideal match for the position. I look forward to discussing this opportunity further with you.
A thank you note after someone wrote you a letter of recommendation
If your professor or boss wrote a letter of recommendation for you or helped you prepare for an interview, a thank you note is a thoughtful way to show your appreciation for their support. Get started with the following examples.
I appreciate the reference you gave me for [position]. The hiring manager called to offer me the job!
Thank you for taking the time to write me such a thoughtful letter of recommendation. I believe it was a significant part of being offered the position.
Thank you for writing on my behalf for my graduate school application. I truly appreciate your support.
Thanks so much for writing me a thoughtful letter of recommendation. I’ll keep you updated on my progress in applying to graduate school.
Thank you for taking the time to write me a letter of recommendation. I hope I can reciprocate the favor.
After someone did you a favor
Thank you notes aren’t just for special occasions. If someone helped you out in a small way, such as to water your plants and bring in your mail while you were on vacation, a thank you note should be sent to recognize their generosity. See the examples below to get started.
Thank you so much for [favor]! Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated.
You were so kind to [favor]. Thank you for your generosity.
Thanks for coming to the rescue when I needed you. You’re a great friend!
Thank you for being kind enough to [favor]. It means a lot more than you know.
You’re my hero! Thank you so much for going out of your way to [favor]. I appreciate it.
Send a gift to show your appreciation
Want to send a little something to go with your thank you note? Say thanks for a great party, a thoughtful gift, or a show of support with our thank you flowers and gifts. No matter what the reason, these gifts show how much you appreciate their generosity.
