Moments of Connection Archives

7 Tips for Staying Connected to Loved Ones This Holiday Season

While we all wish we could celebrate the holidays in person with friends and family, that’s not the reality for some of us. Maybe you live on the opposite coast from your family and the cost of a plane ticket is too big for your budget. Maybe your boss is making you come into work the day after Thanksgiving. (We have some separate advice for you if that’s the case.) Or maybe you just flat-out don’t want to deal with planes, trains, or automobiles during this, the busiest travel time of the year.

If you’re missing out on the experience of baking in the kitchen with Grandma, singing holiday songs surrounded by loved ones, or drinking cocoa together with your siblings as you decorate the house, all is not lost. There are still plenty of ways you can stay socially connected to your nearest and dearest this holiday season — especially if you’re willing to get a little creative.

Here are seven tips that can help bring you closer to your loved ones this holiday season, even if you can’t physically be with them.

1. Schedule virtual holiday parties

A holiday party, even if you’re having it from far away, is still bound to be a blast. You just have to commit to going all-out — and all-in — on decorations, entertainment, refreshments, and more.

staying socially connected with virtual christmas party

Send out online invitations to make sure guests know the details of the party. Once you get a headcount, you can make arrangements for the fun, incorporating food, drinks, games, and more ahead of time — just like you would an in-person party. Take it a step further and send out physical gifts; that way, you can open presents together during the party.

2. Hold a holiday book club or movie screening

If you and your loved ones read books or watch movies together as part of your annual holiday festivities, you can still keep the tradition going this year. Plan ahead and spend the month leading up to the holidays reading the same book or watching the same movies. Then, schedule a phone call or video chat to discuss them. Some streaming services even have a feature that lets you watch shows or movies with others at the same time.

Want to take the party to the next level? Share your favorite eggnog recipe with all the attendees and set up a cozy, holiday atmosphere to really get in the spirit.

3. Organize a gift exchange

staying socially connected with sending gifts

Being there and watching as a friend or family member unwraps the present you got for them is a great feeling, as is receiving a gift from someone and giving them a big, ol’ hug afterward. But if you can’t physically be together this year, you can still make your loved ones feel special with a gift exchange.

Designate one family member to be the point person, and have that individual match up givers with receivers. Then, have everyone pick out something thoughtful and send it to their intended recipient. On the big night, instruct everyone to hop on a video call and open up their presents, one by one. Or make it extra fun and go the Secret Santa route, and have people guess who they think got them their gift.

4. Make and send holiday letters and cards

Who says snail mail is boring? Communicate with your loved ones the old-fashioned way with holiday cards and letters. Those folks are sure to appreciate such a well thought-out, dedicated effort. Whether it’s planned or spontaneous, this is a great way to stay socially connected and show someone you’re thinking of them this holiday season.

5. Participate in virtual holiday classes

staying socially connected with virtual flower arranging

Many of us associate the holidays with making (and eating!) our favorite foods with our closest relatives. If cooking and sharing a meal with family isn’t an option this year, you can still replicate this tradition by whipping up a favorite seasonal dish or dessert and sending it to the people who will be missing it most this season.

Or, take advantage of the wonders of technology and sign up for a virtual culinary workshop, wherein you and your loved ones will learn to create the same gourmet foods from an expert instructor. Then, when you’re done, you can all sit down at the table and enjoy the fruits of your labor! If the members of your crew aren’t all that skilled in the kitchen but are more the crafty type, enroll in a flower arranging class and beautify your homes with fresh and festive blooms.

6. Invent a new tradition

There’s no time like the present to shake things up. Get Grandma to play a round of Fortnite with you, ask your mom to send over photos so you can create a holiday card together, organize a virtual toast with your entire family to foster the community spirit, or institute a holiday-themed family game night for those you already live with. Whatever you do, make this new tradition a fun favorite that will last for years to come.

7. Surprise loved ones with thoughtful gifts

If you’re still looking for the perfect way to stay socially connected and spread holiday cheer from afar, browse our Christmas collection to find floral arrangements and gifts for those you hold dear.

The Psychology of Giving and the Importance of Mindful Gifts

a graphic for the giving is the gift content series

It goes without saying that we give gifts to show we care. But it’s equally true that the gift fully serves that purpose only if it pleases the other person, and it will please them only if they find it meaningful.

“So, for example, even if you love French, don’t give somebody a book of French poetry in French if they don’t read French,” psychologist Ellen Langer says.

The gifts that best show you care make the recipient feel you know who they are, Langer explains. “That’s why having a secretary send out gifts for you isn’t generally met with glee because the secretary doesn’t really know who your recipients are,” says Langer, a professor at Harvard University.

The key to giving a good gift, she says, is knowing exactly why you are presenting that particular present to that particular person, ideally so that they also know and appreciate why you chose it. That way, you feel the reality of your own goodwill and generosity, and they feel they matter and deserved the thought you put into it. In this sense, giving is itself a gift: Both the giver and the recipient benefit from a stronger relationship.

Hormonal highs

When gift giving works this dual magic, it can trigger a flood of hormones for happiness and intimacy, such as the surge produced by giving birth.

“A huge amount of hormonal activity goes on, both when we give and when we receive,” says Mark Williams, professor of cognitive neuroscience at Macquarie University in Australia.

psychology of gifting with woman receiving a gift from a man.

The initial response in the gift recipient is a surge of dopamine, our happiness neurotransmitter. It surges in gift givers as well when they see their giftee’s happy response and feel their present was a success. This is especially true if you are there, fully part of the experience, when the recipient opens the present, Williams says.

The neurotransmitter serotonin, which helps us feel connected to others, also surges, as does oxytocin, the neurotransmitter that famously creates attachment and intimacy between parents and newborns. For them, physical touch plays a major role in triggering oxytocin, but in gifter and giftee, it’s more a metaphorical sense of “being touched” by each other thanks to a thoughtful present.

“When this neurotransmitter gets released, it opens us up and makes us more willing to share a bond with someone,” Williams says.

Humans are social animals, and for millions of years, notes Williams, we’ve relied on connections with one another to survive and thrive. “A huge amount of our brain is dedicated to these connections,” he says. “Gifting is a big part of that. When all these really important neurotransmitters are released, it makes both givers and receivers feel these connections.”

psychology of gifting with woman receiving a beautiful floral bouquet as a gift.

Strengthening the bonds

In fact, an especially thoughtful gift can create a more or less permanent bond between two people, says So Yon Rim, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at William Paterson University in Wayne, New Jersey. However, a thoughtless or inappropriate gift may have the opposite effect.

“I see the role of gifting to be quite significant in establishing interpersonal closeness,” Rim says. “Gifts that are appropriate and well received can affirm and strengthen the relationship, while a gift which seems thoughtless or inappropriate can weaken the relationship. In the worst-case scenario, it can even sever the relationship.”

Givers tend to focus on the ‘wow factor,’ the excitement of opening a gift. But that’s often not the main thing the recipient is looking for. Often, it’s the practicality of use.

So Yon Rim

Psychology professor

William Paterson University

Appropriateness, she explains, is a key factor behind the success of a gift; the most expensive, spectacular present is certainly not always the answer. Obviously, a gift that seems too little or insignificant can make someone feel unappreciated and resentful, but if it’s too much for the state of the relationship, it can feel awkward.

In either case, it can weaken the relationship.

Rim’s research has also found some surprising truths comparing high-quality gifts versus convenient, practical gifts. Past research, she says, found that givers typically chose quality over convenience; however, her work shows that recipients really put a higher premium on convenience.

“Givers tend to focus on the ‘wow factor,’ the excitement of opening a high-quality gift. But that’s often not the main thing the recipient is looking for. Often, it’s the practicality of use. For example, when you get a gift card to a restaurant that’s moderately rated but just 5 to 15 minutes from your house, it tends to make you feel closer to the giver than if you received a gift card to a five-star restaurant an hour away from you.”

This may show the recipient that the giver knows and appreciates her situation — perhaps she has two little children and taking a long drive with the kids to a fancy restaurant is untenable, whereas a quick trip to a simple, nearby restaurant where kids can be kids is more practical and satisfying.

“Our data show that this is especially true when the giver is able to communicate why they chose the gift they did, something like “I hope you really like this gift, because I thought about it, and I wanted to get you something that would be convenient and easy for you and the kids.”

Never be ashamed to explain why you got the gift you did; it shows you put special thought into it, based on who your recipient is and what her life situation is.

Moving beyond obligation

Of course, we all have situations where we are obligated to give someone a gift, such as when we’re named the “Secret Santa” for a co-worker in our office. But thoughtfulness is still key. Otherwise, Langer says, you waste an opportunity because a perfunctory gift that lacks any joyful thought behind it establishes no real connection between you two, and could even strain relations between you.

psychology of gifting with gift being exchanged.

So, if you don’t know the recipient well, find out from someone in the office who does know them well what their interests are.

“All ceremonies run the risk of being enacted mindlessly,” Langer explains. “When we give gifts because we feel an obligation, it takes away from the giving enormously. We cheat ourselves when we do this, and we build up resentments. Instead, we have to keep in mind that giving is an act of kindness; it’s a chance for me to do something nice for you.”

Gifting for a better society

Langer believes that gifting plays a key role in society through the phenomenon of “paying it forward.” When someone gets a thoughtful gift, she says, they’re more likely to give someone else a thoughtful gift, and so on. Eventually, many people “downstream” may find themselves happier because of one person’s care and kindness.

“Each year, I visit a city in Mexico called Puerto Vallarta, where everyone you pass is smiling, and they say good morning, good afternoon, and they ask you how you are. They all seem happy and connected, and it just makes you feel better about everything. You go to the store, and you’re kinder to the salesperson, and she’s kinder to the next person,” Langer says. “I think gifting has that effect on people. When you give people the gift of your best self, good feelings just spread.”

psychology of gifting with white flower bouquet.

For professor Williams, gifts are a fundamental building block in group development.

“I give you a gift, and we become friends. And you give someone else a gift, and you become friends. Then I become friends with that person through you, we exchange gifts, and so on and so on, and it creates a larger group we’re all connected to, and we all work together to do positive things,” he says.

“We know that socialization, having a group of friends, is better at treating anxiety and depression than any drug in the world. And gifting is one of the fastest routes to socialization that there is.”

Picture of Celebrations Passport banner ad

Gift History: How Giving Makes Us Human

In the grand scheme of human behavior, exchanging gifts may seem a pleasant triviality.

But ask a scientist and they’ll tell you: Without gifts, we wouldn’t be here.

Consider: Back in prehistoric times, there were several different hominids — or human-like animals, including the Neanderthals. None of those earlier species survived.

“They were all pretty smart,” says Mark Williams, Ph.D., professor of cognitive neuroscience at Macquarie University in Australia. “In fact, the Neanderthals had a slightly larger brain than Homo sapiens.”

What Neanderthals didn’t have, however, was a certain gift…for gifting. Despite Homo sapiens’ smaller brains, they were far more adaptable in ways that directly contributed to their survival. One important area involved forming bonds with other members of a group.

“Gift giving was a major part of that. It has changed through the millennia, but it’s really still the same thing today,” Williams says. “It’s about establishing connections between individuals so that we can cooperate with one another and work together productively, and gifts can facilitate all of that.”

In other words, it’s central to who we are, and how we’ve survived, and thrived. To put it another, gifting is a gift that’s benefited all of us, whether we’re giving or receiving.

gift history with tribe of Prehistoric Primitive Hunter-Gatherers in a Cave at Night

Early gift exchanges

Originally, it worked like this: You went out hunting, killed an antelope, and had extra meat. You gave some of that meat to other members of your tribe, and that created a bond between you. Then the next time they went hunting, they gave you the maximum return that they could.

“So that bond became stronger. You continued to collaborate in that way, and then maybe you went hunting together and did other things together,” Williams says.

Daily gift exchanges were also central to the connections between prehistoric men and women.

“When we were basically hunter-gatherers, men would have done most of the hunting, going after the antelopes, etc., and women would have done most of the gathering, digging up tubers and the like, with the two sexes then exchanging or sharing these gifts,” Williams says.

“Those probably would have been the first gift exchanges, because they were the first things they had to exchange. And those gifts would have helped cement those important relationships.”

With time, these exchanges grew more sophisticated — swapping tools to build shelters or using these same tools to create jewelry for one another. “Maybe a male, rather than giving a woman an ax, would make a small piece of jewelry for her as a sign that they were in a relationship or that he appreciated her.”

And this level of gift giving essentially led to the kinds of gift giving that go on between us today. “Millions of years later, maybe we don’t share antelopes, but we give each other gifts to show we appreciate someone for what they’ve done, and they give us gifts to show they appreciate what we’ve done. And that builds really strong relationships.”

Pagan times

Native Americans practiced a gift-giving feast called Potlatch for thousands of years for occasions ranging from births and deaths to weddings. Attention was always focused on the gift giver rather than the receiver.

We give each other gifts to show we appreciate someone for what they’ve done, and they give us gifts to show they appreciate what we’ve done. And that builds really strong relationships.

Mark Williams, Ph.D.

Professor

Macquarie University

“The ceremony intended to reaffirm the status of the gift giver, with the giving of expensive gifts being a sign of their wealth and power,” writes Kat Whittingham in a blog entry titled “The History of Gift Giving.” “This made gift giving very important for the social hierarchies in Native American civilizations.”

The most advanced civilizations adopted these practices as well. The Romans, Egyptians, and Greeks before them gave gifts to one another to formalize relationships.

“This very good habit of gift giving was an intricate part of their societies,” Williams says. “They gave each other very elaborate gifts.” It began with everyday citizens giving to everyday citizens within a society, but then it went across societies — from ambassador to ambassador, king to king, pharaoh to pharaoh.

The beginnings of Christmas gift giving

gift history with christmas gift celebration

In the Bible’s account of the gifts of the magi, with three pagan kings bringing gifts to the newborn Christ, we see the start of gift giving from the pagan eras being incorporated into the Common Era and Christmas gift giving.

This idea of gift giving kept evolving and shifted into social high gear with the advent of Santa Claus. The original model for Santa Claus was various versions of St. Nicholas, usually traced back to the Netherlands or Germany in the fifth or sixth century; one version, Williams says, had St. Nicholas leaving gifts for good children on their doorsteps and chunks of coal for bad children.

All these beliefs coalesced in the famous 1823 poem “The Night Before Christmas,” says Stephen Nissenbaum, professor of history emeritus at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and author of The Battle for Christmas.

Early on, this version of Santa started being commercialized, advertised by merchants as a lure to bring parents into shops to buy presents for their kids. Where earlier gift-giving rituals involved giving to the poor, “this ultimately replaced giving down across class lines with giving down across generational lines, producing the familiar modern domestic gift-giving Christmas ritual we have today,” Nissenbaum says.

Birthday gifts

It wasn’t until the 19^th century that birthday gifts to children, once the province of royalty and the very rich, fully caught on among ordinary citizens. “It reflected the fact that kids were becoming much less likely to die in childbirth, so you could afford an attachment to them that was riskier before the 19^th century,” notes Peter Stearns, Ph.D., a professor of history at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia.

gift history with woman happy to receive gift

The earliest birthday gifts were initially pretty modest, often a Bible or relatively simple items of clothing.

“The first known birthday in the United States was celebrated in 1772, for a 7-year-old girl in a wealthy family in Boston,” Stearns says. “By the 1830s and 1840s, it’s pretty clear that some kind of birthday celebration for kids was becoming increasingly known in middle-class families. It involved a small party, and cake became increasingly important, but fruit was served as well.”

It wasn’t until the 20^th century that birthday gifting became more popular. By then, many other occasions were being built around gift giving as well, from Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to weddings, Bar Mitzvahs and Valentine’s Day.

To give is human

In this way, we have found a way to break up the quotidian monotony into which life can sometimes devolve, and to allow ourselves special, memorable, heartfelt occasions throughout the year.

So if finding the right gift for Uncle Ned seems a chore, keep in mind: Without gifts, we likely would have gone the way of the Neanderthals.

And anyway, it’s not that hard. Ned loves pears.

Find Inspiration and Share Advice in the Celebrations Community

“Celebration Inspiration” is all about bringing you top-notch advice and creative ideas to make the most of life’s special moments. In this article, learn about the new Celebrations Community recently launched by 1-800-Flowers.com.

Making the most of special occasions adds excitement to our lives. From birthday parties and graduations to weddings and retirements, celebrations give us an opportunity to engage with people while uniting us through common experiences.

But making the most of celebrations is easier said than done. That’s why the 1-800-Flowers.com family of brands recently expanded Connection Communities — its online peer-to-peer support portal for life events — to include a Celebrations Community.

Like the seven other groups, the Celebrations Community helps people through life events by connecting them with others who have walked the same path. The Celebrations Community offers tips for all of life’s celebratory moments — whether it’s planning a birthday party, hosting special guests, or welcoming a baby.

The Celebrations Community offers tips and a whole lot of inspiration. Questions are answered by people who have experienced similar challenges and can offer advice. Its goal is to create a sense of belonging, encourage us to go outside our comfort zone, and have fun along the way.

Says Chris McCann, CEO of 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc.: “Our 1-800-Flowers.com Connection Communities exemplifies the distinctive brand experiences we are creating to deepen our relationships with customers and further our vision to inspire more human expression, connection, and celebration.”

Advice for life’s most cherished moments

The Celebrations Community is a natural extension of 1-800-Flowers.com’s mission of fostering expression, connection, and celebration, Becker says. For years, each of the company’s brands has created content around celebrations.

“Our new Celebrations Community builds off our early success through our Connection Communities but pivots to an area that focuses on our expertise,” says Brian Becker, Vice President of Content & Innovation at 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc.

“We regularly publish trends, tips, and profiles around birthdays, anniversaries, and even the celebration of life amid grief-focused events,” he adds. “We want to make it easier for our customers to reach others who are going through similar moments and who want to lean on the ideas of others.”

Celebrations Community: Father and daughter hugging at graduation

From discussing ways to make anniversaries memorable to sharing tips on how to celebrate a promotion, the Celebrations Community is already buzzing with ideas from its members.

One user, Rochelle, asked the community for suggestions on how to celebrate her 33rd wedding anniversary. She said she and her husband typically go out to dinner but were looking to do something different this year. Suggestions from the community included playing “tourist” in her hometown, renting a house for the weekend, and recreating dishes from her wedding at home.

Another user, Brooke, asked for recommendations on how to celebrate her brother’s promotion from afar. Responses from the community included sending wine and mailing a box of treats with a personalized note.

Other popular topics include milestone birthday celebrations and tips for showing loved ones you care.

Benefits of joining Connection Communities

We want to make it easier for our customers to reach others who are going through similar moments and who want to lean on the ideas of others.

Brian Becker

Vice President of Content & Innovation

1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc.

As an integral part of the Connection Communities, the Celebrations Community is all about making the most of momentous occasions. As with the other communities within the Connections Community, the Celebrations Community provides a place to make new friends, speak to people who have experience in certain situations, and plan for the future.

To become part of the conversation, visit the Celebrations Community and sign in with your 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc. or Connection Communities account. If you haven’t signed up, creating a new account is easy and free for the first three months.

From birthdays to anniversaries and every milestone in between, spread inspiration and share your wisdom in the Celebrations Community. In this joyous journey that we call life, there’s always something to celebrate!

Welcoming Alice’s Table to the 1-800-Flowers.com Family

Written by our Founder and CEO, our Celebrations Pulse Sunday Letters aim to engage with our community. From sharing stories to welcoming your ideas, we want to help you to express, connect, and celebrate the important people in your life.

Forty years ago, we started our business as a single floral shop on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. There were about 40 customers who really made the business work. They would visit our neighborhood, buy a cup of coffee, leave their dry cleaning with us while they ran their errands, and we would chat about restaurant recommendations and community happenings. We would run classes on floral arranging, and we would share tips and tricks along the way about making centerpieces for all holidays and occasions.

Today, we continue to focus on our relationships with our customers but at a much larger scale utilizing technology to reach millions of people. In so doing, we aren’t looking to acquire customers but to acquire relationships and build community.

To that end, we are always looking for ways to unite our community around celebrations, meeting new people, learning and having some fun. That’s why we joined forces with Alice’s Table two years ago and are now taking that collaboration to an exciting extra step.

A little history about Alice

Alice Lewis, the founder of Alice’s Table, started her business by offering flower-arranging classes. In 2018, she appeared on “Shark Tank” and successfully secured investments from well-known investors Mark Cuban and Sarah Blakely.

Alice was looking for a partner who could help her scale her business, and we were seeking a partner to support our mission of expanding our engagement and experiential offerings. We had hosted hundreds of people at our Harry & David Hosted Dinners, were hosting classes around the country, and were working on plans for Celebrations Books Club, Connection Communities peer-to-peer support groups and digital round tables for our community. Alice, and we, thought her in-person floral arranging would fit well.

There is no such thing as bad timing

In March 2020, after several meetings with Alice, we partnered.

Talk about an auspicious start! Initially, we had grand plans for our partnership, which included 150 monthly in-person events around the country. Then, just a few days before we were to get started, the pandemic set-in. Suddenly, we were all in lockdown, and we had to adapt quickly to a world rocked by COVID-19. After many sleepless nights, Alice and our team leads, Loreen and Meredith, came up with a plan to turn lemons into lemonade.

Making lemonade from lemons

Together, we pivoted Alice’s business model and developed floral kits to be delivered to customers’ doors so that we could go virtual. Going online turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Each year since launch, we’ve hosted more than 50,000 people in our online experiences. Our focus was to help our customers express and connect, particularly during a tough couple of years. We loved to hear that customers would set up one screen for their floral or charcuterie class and another with a friend or loved one. Mothers and daughters gathered virtually to take floral arranging classes when they could not celebrate Mother’s Day together.

Expansion for our community

In summer 2020, we started to hear from our community that they would like to take classes beyond floral. Together, we launched charcuterie classes featuring our Harry & David fruits, nuts, and cheeses.

photo-of-screenshot-of-alices-table-class

Strengthening the partnership

After a nearly two-year partnership, we are thrilled to announce that Alice’s Table will join the 1-800-FLOWERS family so that we can further our commitment to customer engagement, building communities, and providing opportunities to connect.

I am over the moon about becoming part of the tradition and history of 1-800-FLOWERS,” Alice said. “The company’s core mission of building communities dovetails perfectly with the vision of Alice’s Table.
We believe it is important to provide opportunities for people to connect and share. Creative environments for customer interaction go a long way toward the betterment of mental health and provide us ways to celebrate moments both large and small.
– Jim

We hope you will join us in welcoming Alice’s Table to our family

All the best,

Chris and Jim McCann

How to Maintain Friendships and Start New Ones as You Get Older

As children and young adults, most people have little trouble finding and making friends. There’s something about toys, playgrounds, and school that foster connections and comradery – and, often, friendships that can last a lifetime.

Inevitably, though, even the strongest friendships made early in life start to change as you grow older. Certain events, like new jobs, provide opportunities to meet new people. If you have a partner or attend school, you also have a chance to meet new people.

And then, as we move into later adulthood, many of our oldest friends from our younger years have relocated and raised their own families. They also likely developed new friendships at work, in their neighborhoods, or with fellow parents at their children’s schools. That’s why, in adulthood, we need to be deliberate about meeting new people. Our friends at Vital Choice recently posted an article about making friends after 50.

If you’re looking for a New Year’s resolution, consider reaching out and rekindling friendships. We have never heard anyone say, “I have way too many friends” and have never heard one person say, “There are way too many people who care about me.” By taking a few simple steps, you can instantly enrich your life and that of another person. Jim recently spoke to Authority Magazine on Medium about finding happiness and joy even during turbulent times and it really does all come down to relationships.

You don’t need a reason to reach out

Remember, you don’t need an excuse to reach out. Send an email, text or make a phone call. You can restart relationships at any point.

Nurture the relationships you have, rekindle the relationships you’ve lost, create the relationships you wish you had.

Dr. George Everly

For Jim, it takes a plan.

I keep lists of categories of friends, including childhood, professional, and golf buddies. I send memes, GIFs, or funny cartoons to people on my lists as a way to liven up the conversation, and invariably they respond with their own humor. We use humor to stay connected, so there’s still a current in the line.

Jim Mccann

Jim recently spoke to Ashley Hunter, an insurance executive. Ashley has lots of personal and professional experiences abroad, which has made her a seasoned relationship builder and maintainer.

“It really becomes a conscious decision to take the time to keep in touch,” Ashley explained. “One of the things I do is keep a relationship calendar that includes scheduling of contacting personal and professional friends. As you get older, it becomes much more important to initiate contact with friends. It allows them to know that they still have a place in your world, and it’s good for mental health. It always brings a smile to your face when you hear from friends, and normally you just pick up right where you left off with lots of laughs and humor.”

Additionally, Ashley, who travels frequently for work, always seeks out friends in different cities she visits to meet for a drink or coffee.

Sharing Tools for Developing & Managing Adult Friendships

How do you nurture your network of relationships and friends? If you join a community association, go to a business conference, or even attend a cocktail party, why not sit next to someone you do not know? At events or parties, Jim always looks for someone standing alone and introduces himself. Not only has he met many wonderful people that way, but it makes them feel less awkward and him too.

How do you stay connected to old friends or make new ones?

Perhaps reacquainting with old friends or seeking out new ones can be part of your 2022 New Year’s resolutions. You might be hesitant and think, “Oh, it’s been so long,” or “Why would they want to be friends with me?” The self-doubt is understandable; however, we’re willing to bet that the person on the other end would be delighted to hear from you.

Here’s to friendship and a Happy New Year!

Chris & Jim McCann

Connection Communities: A Unique Online Forum for Sharing Life’s Experiences

If you’re looking for emotional support, peer acceptance, and a sense of belonging, Connection Communities at 1-800-Flowers.com is a wonderful place to start. Our series “Strength of Community” explores the conversations that take place in this unique online forum.

The Connection Communities online forum allows people to engage with others experiencing similar life events.

Social media platforms certainly have their benefits. However, when you’re going through a rough patch and need a friendly ear, social media sites like Facebook and Twitter can be too public and unpredictable for your needs and comfort. Are you tired of lurkers, flamers, and the pressure to compete for popularity with endless “likes” and photos? Well, now there’s a place to simply share your interests and joys or pour your heart out, knowing you will get helpful, caring feedback from like-minded people.

1-800-Flowers.com has partnered with Wisdo, an online forum that’s a uniquely judgment-free zone. On the site, people come together to seek help and advice, share positive and negative life experiences, and form meaningful connections with others who have been in their shoes and can offer their personal experience and wisdom.

Everyone who accesses Connection Communities through 1-800-Flowers.com receives free access. Here, you can enter any of eight different communities including relationship advice, loneliness and expressing gratitude and share your life’s experiences, journeys and everyday ups and downs with others who have gone through or are going through similar situations.

Establishing an Online Forum for Community Connection

Boaz Gaon launched Wisdo in Israel in 2016 as an unprecedented “social health platform” where people could reach out to one another emotionally with specific shared interests, concerns, and problems, ranging from financial woes and loneliness to the death of a loved one.

Social health can be more important than the things you eat and whether you jog or not.

Boaz Gaon

Founder

Wisdo

“Social health can be more important than the things you eat and whether you jog or not,” Gaon says. “The people who surround us, especially as we are going through consequential life moments, are one of the most significant determining factors in our health and well-being. The people you need in those troubled moments are helpful individuals who can identify with you.”

That, he says, is what Wisdo provides — a real, knowledgeable community to help you through your problems, with no trolling, no bullying, no offensive comments allowed. “We’ve showed that contrary to other social networks, we actually help people feel better about who they are, where they are, and where they can get to,” Gaon says.

Partnership with 1-800-Flowers.com

When Wisdo launched in 2016, it received a massive public response in Israel. By 2018, it had won the Best Practices for Social Health Award and was the No. 1 app for social impact on Google Play. It had expanded to six other countries, including the U.S., U.K., and Canada. It’s attracted more than two million members.

We are here to help people express themselves and connect to the important people in their lives.

Jim McCann

Founder and Chairman

1-800-Flowers.com

When Wisdo reached the U.S., 1-800-Flowers.com took notice. Founder and Chairman Jim McCann, director Adam Hanft, and others recognized Wisdo’s raison d’être was very much in sync with their company’s — providing encouragement and support for people through life’s major events and daily travails. So McCann’s and Gaon’s teams partnered, ultimately creating the Connections Communities online forum at 1-800-Flowers.com.

“We are working with Wisdo because we share a common mission,” McCann says, recalling the shared community of his first flower shop more than 40 years ago. Today the company has grown to be a community of millions of people, but its goal is the same. “We are here to help people express themselves and connect to the important people in their lives,” he says. “Wisdo creates communities that make that possible.”

How to access the Connection Communities online forum

From the Connections Communities homepage, you’ll find tabs for eight Wisdo communities:

Coping with Loss
Loneliness
Motherhood
Relationship Advice
Caregiving
Increasing Happiness
Expressing Gratitude
LBGTQ+

Click on the community of your choice, and you’ll find a brief list of questions covering the typical experiences someone in that community will have gone through. Answer “Been There,” “There now,” or “Both” to each question that pertains to you, and that creates a profile of you that others can review to get an understanding of your perspective and background.

After that, you can immediately enter that community and join conversations that resonate with your current or past experiences. You can also introduce yourself and start your own conversation.

People may offer support, give you suggestions, or identify with you and tell you their own stories. Wisdo has enlisted various “life coaches” — professionals who may add their two cents to the conversations when they believe it can help or will invite you to special directed sessions with fewer people.

Leveraging the experience of others

There are also regular members who have benefited so much from and contributed so much to the groups that they now have monikers like “mentor,” “guide,” and “helper” by their name. They bring their depth of personal knowledge to the mix. There’s even a “Mama Bear” who will introduce herself early on and can guide you when you need special assistance. In other words, you will find many layers of support.

“I have been an active member of the communities for the past four years, and I have found that connecting with others going through the same thing as me has been incredibly helpful,” says Annmarie Giannino-Otis, community director of the Wisdo Communities. “Just click on the tab of your choice, and you can instantly become part of the conversation, experiencing the power of belonging. We are excited about this partnership with Wisdo and can’t wait for you to make it part of your life.”

Memory Gardens: How Flowers and Plants Nurture People with Dementia

Explore the ways in which people care for each other in the series “How We Care.” In this article, we examine therapeutic memory gardens and how plants, flowers, and nature are helping people with dementia.

The sweet scents and delicate blossoms of flowers on a wedding day. Vibrant greenery as the backdrop for a stroll through a forest on a lazy summer afternoon. The coarseness of earth slipping through fingers while gardening on a warm spring day. Over the course of a lifetime, we experience millions of interactions with flowers, plants, and nature.

Reminders of these little experiences bring back emotions for people in the autumn of their lives. Caretakers of people struggling with cognitive impairments, Alzheimer’s disease, and dementia increasingly use flowers, plants, and gardens to evoke memories of past events or feelings.

Researchers have found that nonpharmaceutical treatments such as therapeutic gardens, many also including active horticultural therapy, improve emotional well-being and alleviate agitation, physical aggression, and disruptive behavior, without side effects. In addition, gardens can be incorporated into daily activities and woven into the living environments.

“The main idea is to design the therapeutic landscape that will help residents interact with nature and enhance their quality of life,” says Beth Couet, a certified landscaper designer who designed a therapeutic memory garden at Rosewood Manor, a senior care residence in Harwich on Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

How do therapeutic memory gardens work?

Therapeutic memory gardens tap into our hardwired instinct and life-long desire to be amid nature, plants, nature, says John Zeisel, Ph.D., author of I’m Still Here: A New Philosophy of Alzheimer’s Care. A sociologist with a background in design, Zeisel champions so-called “ecopsychosocial” interventions in dementia care.

The main idea is to design the therapeutic landscape that will help residents interact with nature and enhance their quality of life.

Beth Couet

Certified Landscape Designer

“Access to outdoors is vital,” Zeisel says, stressing the therapeutic effect of combining nature, time, and memories all in one place. “It is in our nature to be outside. In a sense, it’s a human right.”

Zeisel points people planning therapeutic gardens to archival flower catalogues from the decades when residents were growing up. “Find out what was popular then, and plant old-fashioned flowers that promote memories,” he says.

“Outdoor space has to be seen as one more common area — it just doesn’t have a roof on it,” Zeisel says. “Landscape architecture must be brought in at the beginning of every project: The garden may be dessert, but it’s an integral part of the full meal.”

Planning a memory garden at Rosewood

Rosewood Manor, a former sea captain’s house on Cape Cod, has 33 beds. The average age of the people who live there is mid-90s. The garden project got its start when Couet approached the manor’s administrator, Jan Epstein, with an idea to build a therapeutic memory garden.

Couet was inspired by professional and personal reasons. She studied at the Landscape Institute in Boston, which is part of Boston Architectural College. She graduated in 2013, and her thesis was on therapeutic gardens for people with memory impairments.

But she also had personal reasons to propose the project.

“My mom and grandma had Alzheimer’s, and I decided to do the project because of them,” Couet explains. “I’m glad I did.” They were the inspiration for Couet’s work, and she sees her garden at Rosewood Manor as part of their legacy.

Epstein was quick to agree to Couet’s idea. Many of the residents have fond memories of gardening and flowers, and Epstein was delighted that Couet could help her keep that connection alive.

“Beth reached out with a wonderful idea and spent a lot of time at Rosewood Manor gathering information about what the residents and staff wanted,” Epstein says. For her part, she consulted with the company that oversees Rosewood Manor and navigated the corporate paperwork to get approval for the project, securing the funding in 2014.

Photo of the memory garden at Rosewood Manor, which treats people with dementia by using plants, flowers, and gardening.

Memories of flowers

Couet kept the importance of flower memories in mind as she designed Rosewood’s garden. In planning it, she chose colorful and fragrant flowers — such as old-fashioned roses, lilac, lavender — as Zeisel recommends, and herbs that residents can brush against as they walk to engage the senses and recall happy times from the past.

“When I spoke with the residents, I talked to a woman who said that when she was getting married, she had no money for flowers for a bouquet,” Couet remembers. “The morning of the wedding, a neighbor brought a big bunch of lilacs for her to carry.” Couet made sure to plant lilacs in the garden.

A memory garden serves multiple needs

Photo of woman watering plants at a memory garden that help people with dementia.

Therapeutic gardens rely on both architectural and landscape principles and psychological strategies to create the optimal experience for people with dementia or other memory-related conditions.

Couet initially thought about putting the garden in the front lawn because there’s a good-size space, but it’s also noisy from the street, and she wanted it to be a peaceful, calming place for residents and their families. She says she drew her design inspiration from Clare Cooper Marcus’s Therapeutic Landscapes: An Evidence-Based Approach to Designing Healing Gardens and Restorative Outdoor Spaces, and The Healing Landscape: Therapeutic Outdoor Environments, by Martha Tyson.

“People with memory impairments can find it difficult to navigate and may become disoriented,” Couet says. To combat this, she knew it was important to have a single path with a garden entrance that is immediately clear from the door of the residence. Couet also installed landmarks in the garden: She attached an old bicycle painted Cape Cod blue to the side of the building, and she also added a “totem pole” with greeting signs on it from her own yard. “There’s an antique plow and bird feeders to give the residents clues to where they are in the garden as well,” she explains, tipping her hat to Clare Cooper Marcus’s ideas.

Couet asked the Rosewood maintenance department to install raised flower beds to make it easier for residents to garden and a workbench where they can tinker with projects. “They can help pot annuals or pull out weeds, according to their physical abilities,” she says.

A community project

The residents are always in the garden with a staff member or relative, and the design includes places where people in wheelchairs can sit while leaving plenty of room for others to walk past. Easy, nonconfusing circulation is vital.

Photo of John Zeisel, an expert on the role of memory gardens in treating people with dementia

How things in the environment touch our spirit is very important.

John Zeisel, Ph.D.

Author

I’m Still Here: A New Philosophy of Alzheimer’s Care

Couet used Cooper Marcus’s recommendation to put furniture and benches in the garden: “I added a little table and chairs that families can move to suit their configuration and make it more personal,” she says.

The Rosewood garden has been a community project from day one. “We had a day when current and former families came to help plant, which was incredible,” Epstein says. “Some wanted to purchase a rosebush or another plant in the name of a loved one, too.” Everyone mucked in, digging, planting, and spreading mulch.

The garden is planted so residents can see the changes of the season through the plants and there is always something new and colorful to look at. Couet even planted narrow pines that can have holiday lights hung on them.

Quiet relaxation for residents and visitors

All of the design elements come together to make the therapeutic garden a special space where people can be apart but still within their community. “It’s a very peaceful, peaceful place,” Epstein says. “People really enjoy it, and the families love it. Some residents can express their enjoyment of it, and it certainly is a wonderful environment for them.”

She can’t pick out a favorite element of the therapeutic garden — and she says it’s probably different for everyone — but she did enjoy the cranberry harvest festival they celebrated out there with families. “We had games, prizes, different foods,” Epstein recalls. “One resident used to grow cranberries, so his family donated cranberries and we made baked goods with them.”

The residents also love keeping an eye on the vegetable garden, though the staff do the work there. “They watch as the cook goes out to the garden and comes back with a bowl of delicious ripe tomatoes,” Epstein says. “They love knowing they’ll be eating them for their next meal.” The garden also grows cucumbers, herbs, and squash, among other crops.

Thriving with the garden

Zeisel always encourages interaction with gardens, making them a true experience. “Rosewood Manor could create a gardening club, for example,” he suggests. “In winter, residents could plant seeds in pots inside marked with a date for planting to reinforce time.”

In line with his philosophy that being able to be outdoors is a human right, he says: “The garden is a place for celebrating, meeting with families, and enjoying sunshine. The beauty that will surely be there is as important as the therapeutic design — how things in the environment touch our spirit is very important.”

Sympathy Gift Etiquette: What’s Appropriate to Send to Family, Friends, & Co-Workers

Helping someone deal with the loss of a loved one is never easy. When it’s hard to find the words to say, sending funeral flowers for the service, or sympathy gifts to the home, are a common way to express your deepest condolences. Below are helpful funeral etiquette tips for you to be able to lend your support during a difficult time, along with helpful recommendations based on your relationship with the deceased.

Etiquette for sending funeral flowers & sympathy gifts based on relationship

Sympathy gifts for immediate family

If the deceased is an immediate family member, then larger, traditional pieces such as funeral standing wreaths and hearts, standing crosses, large floral standing sprays, and casket flowers are appropriate. Often, family members as a group send one large piece or a combination of pieces. These large specialty floral pieces are often placed next to the casket.

Whether you’re sending funeral standing sprays, funeral standing wreaths, or funeral standing baskets, know that these displays are often able to be catered to fit the personality of the deceased, making for a very personalized experience. For example, if you know the deceased loved the color purple, a standing spray with purple flowers makes a thoughtful funeral flower choice. If you know the deceased was very involved in the church, a standing floral cross may be a good option in a cemetery or cremated.

sympathy gift etiquette with blue and white standing cross — Peace & Prayers™ Blue & White Standing Cross

sympathy gift etiquette with Floral Heart Tribute — Always Remember™ Floral Heart Tribute

sympathy gift etiquette with Lavender White Standing Basket — Heartfelt Sympathies Lavender & White Standing Basket

Sympathy gifts for friends

Sending flowers to the funeral home

Of course, there are always different levels of friendship, from good acquaintances to best friends. Depending on your closeness, it may alter the sympathy gift you choose for those in mourning. Chipping in with a group of friends, also will change your decision.

The important part is that you connect and let them know that you care.

Jim McCann

Founder and Chairman

1-800-Flowers.com Inc.

For close friends, and large friend groups, standing sprays or abundant flower baskets to be placed on display at the funeral service, are always a safe and thoughtful choice. For looser relationships, sending a modest funeral flower arrangement for the service is a very nice gesture.

Sending sympathy gifts to the home

If you are unable to attend the services, it’s generally appropriate to send your condolences to the grieving family’s home. Traditional choices for a sympathy gift to the home include an elegant vase of flowers, basket arrangements, or sympathy plants. Sympathy gift baskets have also become a popular and thoughtful gift to send to the home. Whether you’re looking for savory options or sweet options, there are many gourmet sympathy gift baskets of comfort food to choose from, with everything from meat and cheese to cookies and chocolate.

sympathy gift etiquette with Peace Prayers Blessings™ Pink White — Peace, Prayers & Blessings™ Pink & White

sympathy gift etiquette White Calla Lily — Loving Memory White Calla Lily

sympathy gift etiquette with With Sincere Sympathy Fruit Sweets Box — With Sincere Sympathy Fruit & Sweets Box

Sympathy gifts for co-workers

Sending flowers to the funeral service

Professional colleagues will generally send a group gift. An appropriate floral arrangement for the service may be a standing spray, standing basket, or fireside basket.

Sending sympathy gifts to the home

In most cases, a note or card to the family is appropriate and sufficient to express your sympathy to the family of a deceased work colleague. If you worked closely together, you might send a sympathy flower arrangement or a dish garden. Fruit, food, or gourmet baskets are also appropriate and would be appreciated.

“The important part is that you connect and let them know that you care,” says Jim McCann, Founder and Chairman, 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc. “It’s the thought that counts.”

Gourmet sympathy baskets & prepared meals

Gourmet food — whether baskets of individual snacks or full meals — is not just a thoughtful gift for those who are grieving but an especially considerate and convenient offering. Sympathy baskets are carefully designed to include wide selections of comfort foods, ranging from fresh fruits to gourmet cookies, suitable for the home of a grieving family or memorial service. Sympathy meals provide restaurant-quality entrees and side dishes to be enjoyed in the comfort of their own home. Each meal arrives fully prepared, making it easy to eat and feed guests during a difficult time.

sympathy gift etiquette with Heartfelt Tribute™ Yellow Floor Basket Arrangement — Heartfelt Tribute™ Yellow Floor Basket Arrangement

sympathy gift etiquette with Classic Dish Garden for Sympathy — Classic Dish Garden for Sympathy

sympathy gift etiquette Sympathy Bakery Tray — Sympathy Bakery Tray