Author: Mickey Brown

“A parent helping parents.” 

That is one way to describe Anna McKay, a career and leadership coach who helps parents reenter the paid workforce after time away — a demographic she calls “returners.”

The mother of two daughters, ages 13 and 10, and former accountant became a professional coach in 2008 while living abroad in the Philippines and China with her husband. “I was inspired by the women I saw who stopped paid work and moved overseas to be with their spouses.”

When Anna and her husband moved back to the United States, settling in the Houston area, she began encountering women who had taken time off from work to raise their kids and were ready to rejoin the workforce — but many didn’t know where to begin.

McKay knew that coaching could help. “I was doing career transition coaching and helping people figure out their transferable skills,” she says. “That’s the way I see parenting: It’s just another kind of career. You’ve got transferable skills (McKay cites fundraising, volunteering, and community building, among others), but how do you convey them to an employer?”

Putting her expertise to use

She put together her first group coaching program for mothers where she had a half dozen attendees. “I had my first cohort, and it was really well received,” she says. “I got so much energy from that first group — I had never known that before.”

“I want to be part of creating a world where it’s OK to be a parent.

Anna Mckay

Founder, Parents Pivot

That’s when McKay realized she had found her calling. “This work is powerful, and it can impact so many women and lift so many people up.”

She continued to host in-person coaching sessions, and the response was so positive that she formalized them under the banner “THRIVE Like a Mother” (recently renamed “THRIVE Like a Parent”). Since then, McKay has supported more than 100 people through THRIVE. 

In mid-2019, McKay launched Parents Pivot to broaden her offerings. (THRIVE now lives under the Parents Pivot umbrella.) In addition to group coaching sessions, the organization offers resources for working parents, returners, and caregivers, including one-on-one coaching for parents and their managers; training for managers of parents and caregivers navigating parental leave or caring for children or aging parents; and parents considering career transitions or desiring more work-life balance.

One ingredient that makes her work successful, McKay says, is that it comes without an agenda. “We are thought partners for parents who haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about what they want,” she says. “We act as an advocate for them.”

A process that empowers

Much of McKay’s work centers on helping clients uncover not only what they enjoy but the skills they developed during their time off and how those translate to the workforce. She also teaches them how to communicate their value and negotiate salaries to prospective employers.

One of the first questions McKay asks clients when she meets with them is: “Where did you choose to spend your time during unpaid work?” From there, she digs deeper, pressing them to think about how everything they’ve acquired translates to paid work. Did they coach their child’s hockey team? Set up payment systems for fundraisers? Lead the PTO? All those experiences are relevant to career development and finding future work.

Getting ready to re-enter the workforce, after being out of it for years, from a skills standpoint is hard enough. But McKay’s clients must also clear the mental hurdle that they are doing the right thing for not only themselves but their families. “When moms return to paid work, they often think about what they are giving up,” McKay says. “But there are so many benefits that they’re also giving their family.” Financial support is the most obvious one, she notes, but there’s also the chance to be a role model for “how to move past challenges, learn, grow, and try hard things.”

“I want to be part of creating a world where it’s OK to be a parent,” McKay says. “It’s OK to take a career pause for whatever reason, build skills, and come back to work and have your skills be recognized for the value they bring. … I mean, who wouldn’t want an employee who really wants to be working?”

Kate Lanoue adores children. That is apparent not only in her work as a neonatal nurse practitioner but as a mother to five kids, ages 7 to 17. And just as her job in the NICU requires her to be a source of caring and compassion, when she gets home to her family, she takes her role as “mom” just as seriously.

What are your duties as a neonatal nurse practitioner?

I work for Pediatrix, and our team is contracted at several hospitals in Jacksonville, Florida, to care for term and preterm infants in the NICU and newborn nursery. I work 16-hour or 24-hour shifts and am responsible for the daily management of and care for infants, as well as attending deliveries as needed.

What made you want to go into such a high-stress profession?

My passion for nursing was always in critical care because of the advanced nursing and problem-solving skills needed to be successful. The NICU was a natural fit for me because I have always enjoyed babies. It is an incredibly rewarding role in which I am a key member of the team and gain a lot of satisfaction from being able to have a strong voice and advocate for one of the most vulnerable populations.

The most enjoyable part of being a mom is hearing my kids laugh and seeing them smile.

Kate Lanoue

Neonatal nurse practitioner & mother of five

Given the high-stress environment, how do you keep your emotions in check at work?

My role at work is incredibly stressful at times, but in most cases is also incredibly rewarding. The key for me is to always try to focus on the bigger picture and the outcomes we are trying to achieve — a healthy baby that is discharged to a loving family.

I am tasked with needing to keep my emotions grounded for the sake of not only the babies but for the family members. I need to be a source of comfort and reassurance when they are handling a lot of unknowns and facing a very stressful situation.

Having a great team that is always available as a support system is also key. I always find comfort in discussing a rough shift with a coworker; having a sounding board is incredibly beneficial in this role.

How are you able to separate your work life from your home life and role as a mother?

I know when I walk away from the hospital that one of my other coworkers is taking care of the babies and families just as I would. I am able to step away and concentrate on myself and my own family. As a nurse, I am not sure you are ever capable of not worrying or thinking about cases at the hospital, but knowing that the oncoming care team is going to do an amazing job makes stepping away much easier.

How has your role as a mom affected how you approach your job, and vice versa?

My role as a mom has definitely impacted my role as a nurse practitioner. I have had the experience of having a baby in the NICU [Cash, her second oldest, developed a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) after delivery], and I know how incredibly scary and unnerving it can be. I pray that I can be a source of comfort for all my families and help them to adjust to a period in their lives that is most always unexpected and unfamiliar. I want to always have the time to communicate clearly and have as many conversations as needed to ease their discomfort.

My role as a nurse practitioner has changed my outlook on parenting and the things I choose to focus on. I have had the unfortunate experience of seeing families in the worst grief and in incredibly hard situations. Knowing the circumstances that some face has been beneficial for me in my own life because it allows me to step back and see that some of the small issues that seem to be catastrophic as a mom really are just minor bumps in the road that might mean you just need to take a different path. I have been able to take a few breaths and remember what I want the final outcome to be in my children’s lives: to be healthy, happy, and productive citizens.

What do you enjoy most about being a mom?

The most enjoyable part of being a mom is hearing my kids laugh and seeing them smile. I can be having an incredibly challenging day, but they always seem to make it better when I see them happy and living their best lives.

What part of motherhood do you find the most challenging?

The most challenging part of motherhood for me is letting my children make mistakes so that they can learn how to cope with failure and overcome it. I would love to swoop in and save them every time I see them making choices that are not what I would choose or think is their best option, but I want them to be independent and learn that it’s OK to fail as long as you can make a plan to correct it.

What special “mom” skills do you possess?

My special mom skill is that I see every child as their own person and try to respect their different personalities and choices. I am a firm believer that it is hard with large families to “blanket parent” every child the same. I have come to appreciate how different our five are and embrace the different ways that I have to reach each of them.

What special things do you do for your kids to let them know they’re your top priority?

I think our children know that they are my top priority because I am always available for them, even when I am not physically home. Although I work and carve out time for myself each day to exercise, they know that if they need me, I will rearrange my calendar to make room for them. I never let a day go by without asking about their day and saying I love you.