Category: Celebrating Dads

A father is someone who looks out for his family, is there for them when they need him, and shows them unconditional love.

But every good father knows that he would not be the man, or dad, he is without the support of those around him — and no one knows that better than Mark Cronin, Christopher Russell, and David Watson.

Each one is running a successful business, and he’s doing it with the help of either his wife or children — or both.

This Father’s Day, we salute three men whose roles as business owner and dad are uniquely intertwined and find out what fatherhood means to them.

Mark Cronin, cofounder, John’s Crazy Socks

Mark Cronin is the father of three sons: Patrick, Jamie, and John. A social entrepreneur, advocate, keynote speaker, and author, Mark co-founded John’s Crazy Socks with son John, who has Down syndrome. Together, they have grown it into not just one of the largest sock stores in the world but a social enterprise with a mission to spread happiness. To wit, more than half the company’s employees have a differing ability.

What is your proudest dad moment?

I have many:

• Having my eldest son, Patrick, lead the family on a tour of the U.S. Capitol when he worked as a Congressional aide.
• Watching my son, Jamie, become clean and sober, and get his life back on track.
• Watching John accept a proclamation from the county executive and then hand it to his colleagues, thanking them and telling them that they deserve the recognition because they are the ones doing the work.
• Standing next to John as we addressed a conference at the United Nations on diversity and inclusion.
• Watching Patrick perform improv at a theater in Manhattan.
• Watching Jamie coach a Special Olympics basketball team.

What words of wisdom do you have for other dads?

Parenting is very humbling. We help best when we support our children as they figure out who they are and how they will lead their lives. When we appreciate the journey for our children, life becomes so much richer.

What is your dream Father’s Day scenario?

Spending the day with my sons, whether watching a Mets game, going for a hike, or sitting around the kitchen table talking.

Christopher Russell, cofounder and owner, Treat House

A native New Yorker, Chris Russell has spent his career working in every facet of the restaurant industry. In 2013, inspired by a charitable bake sale where his sons, Daniel and Eli, sold gourmet Rice Krispies treats, Chris launched Treat House with his wife, Jennifer.

Giving back has always been key to Treat House’s mission. The company has partnered with the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society, to deliver treats to low-income patients with blood cancer, and with the Andrew McDonough B+ Foundation, which helps those affected by childhood cancer.

What is your proudest dad moment?

It was at the end of last summer, after both my sons had worked the entire summer at a local day camp. The camp director called me and my wife to say that we had raised two of the kindest, most empathetic, and hardest-working young men she had ever worked with. Those are among the qualities we value most, and it was great to hear from a non-family member that our children have embodied those characteristics.

What words of wisdom do you have for other dads?

Find a way to spend as much time with your children as possible. Eighteen years fly by. Before you know it, your kids will be on their own and those precious moments will be few and far between. Prioritize family time. Your investment will pay off with a great relationship with great kids!

What is your dream Father’s Day scenario?

Box seats at a Yankees game with my two sons and my wife (and I catch a foul ball).

David Watson, co-owner, Flowerama Las Cruces

In late 1984, David and Donna Watson saw an ad in the local paper looking for Flowerama franchisees and, Donna being an avid gardener and lover of plants, jumped right in.

They opened the store in the Mesilla Valley Mall in Las Cruces, New Mexico, in 1985 and ran it for 10 years, before closing the shop in 1995. In 1990, they opened a second, free-standing location in a shopping center. (All this time, David was working as an electrical engineer at White Sands Missile Range, a job he held until 1998, at which point he retired and went to work full-time in the flower shop.) When the Watsons’ children, Derek and Danette, were old enough, they started to help out at the family business, fulfilling and delivering orders. (1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc. acquired Flowerama in 2011.)

Derek has since moved away, but Danette, and her husband, William, are store managers, doing, David estimates, “75% of the work.” “Danette is a very creative designer. Donna is still very involved. I’m a glorified bookkeeper,” he jokes.

What is your proudest dad moment?

It’s not a moment — I’m proud of my two children every day. They’ve both grown up to be good and thoughtful adults.

What words of wisdom do you have for other dads?

Teach your children that actions have consequences — good and bad. And be there for them either way.

What is your dream Father’s Day scenario?

Just having my kids with me. That’s what makes me happy.

Dads and their humor. Cringeworthy, am I right? It almost seems that as soon as a man becomes a father, his ability to create corny, hackneyed puns increases tenfold.

But these jokes may actually be good for his kids, and all kids. A study found that dad jokes, which are embarrassing, can help children build stamina when dealing with embarrassment as they grow into adults, resulting in being comfortable with who they are.

So, in honor of father’s everywhere, here’s a collection of dad jokes so bad that they’re actually funny. Try out your favorites on the kids. Caveat: You may get only some laughs, but we can guarantee lots of eye rolls.

75 of our favorite dad jokes

1. What’s the best kind of music to listen to when fishing? Something catchy.
2. How did the pirate get his ship for so cheap? It was on sail.
3. “Today my son asked me, ‘Can I have a bookmark’? I burst into tears — he’s 12 years old and still doesn’t know my name!”
4. Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they play golf? In case they get a hole in one.
5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
6. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels (bay gulls).
7. “What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but never in a thousand years? The letter M.”
8. What’s the best kind of bird to work for a construction company? A crane.
9. What did the T-Rex use to cut wood? A dino-saw.
10. “I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. It turns out nobody thought I was fare.”
11. What do you call a snake that loves building houses? A boa constructor.
12. Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank.
13. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
14. When does it rain money? When there is a change in the weather.
15. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
16. What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They’re both Paris sites.
17. Why did the man get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones.
18. “Whoever stole my depression medication — I hope you’re happy now.”
19. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.

20. What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
21. What do you call a penguin in the White House? Lost.
22. What do you call a kangaroo’s lazy joey? A pouch potato.
23. What did the llama say to his date? “Want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.”
24. “Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.”
25. Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
26. Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh.
27. What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
28. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
29. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
30. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”\
31. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
32. What do you call a factory that makes OK products? A satisfactory.
33. What did the janitor say when he jumped out the closet? “Supplies!”
34. What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? “Bison!”
35. “I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus, but geometry is where I draw the line.”
36. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
37. What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.
38. What has five toes and isn’t your foot? My foot.

39. What did the cannibal choose as his last meal? Five Guys.
40. Me: “Go to bed, the cows are already asleep in the field.” Son: “So what?” Me: “It’s pasture bedtime.”
41. What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe.
42. “I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.”
43. Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was out standing in his field.
44. What do you get if you cross an angry sheep with a moody cow? An animal that’s in a baaaaad mooood.
45. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! Buildings can’t jump.
46. What did the sink tell the toilet? “You look flushed.”
47. What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.
48. “I saw a 1,000-year-old oil stain; it was from ancient Greece.”
49. “My extra winter weight is finally gone. Now, I have spring rolls.”
50. Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided? All the sailors were marooned.
51. My neighbor gave me a new roof for free. He said it was on the house.
52. Did you hear about the teenager who failed his driving test? He thought it was a crash course.
53. Where do surfers learn to surf? At boarding school.
54. A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
55. What do you call a wizard who’s good with ceramics? Harry Pottery.
56. Why did Marie Curie break up with the guy she was seeing? There was no chemistry.
57. Did you hear about the nurse who didn’t want to become a doctor? She didn’t have the patients.

58. Why did the tourist feel disappointed upon seeing the Liberty Bell? It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
59. How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? He was shocked!
60. Why don’t the other farm animals like playing basketball with pigs? They’re ball hogs.
61. How do ghosts stay in shape? They exorcise.
62. What do rabbits need after getting caught in the rain? A hare dryer.
63. Why did the coach put the frog in the outfield? He was really good at catching flies.
64. What board game is popular in Prague? Czechers.
65. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
66. Why didn’t the invisible man go to the dance? He didn’t have any body to take.
67. “’Dad, did you get a haircut?’ ‘No, I got them all cut!'”
68. What did one candle say to the other? “Do you want to go out tonight?”
69. Why did the bed wear a disguise? It was undercover.
70. Why was the Incredible Hulk so good at gardening? He had a green thumb.
71. Why did the elephant quit his job? He was working for peanuts.
72. What did the shovel say to the sand? “I really dig you!”
73. What are the least expensive type of teeth? Buck teeth.
74. Why did the queen go to the dentist? To get crowns.

And, finally…

75. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

Gifts for Dad