Martha McCully, Author at 1800Flowers Petal Talk

Carly Cushnie’s Celebrations Involve Food, Family…and Moving Furniture

Carly Cushnie and her husband, Oscar Cantu, like to celebrate life. Just check out their hashtag #teamoscarly on Instagram, where’ll you see pics of their colorful, Oaxacan-style wedding in Mexico City, complete with a procession of mojigangas, or huge puppets, dancing in the street, and flowering trees on the reception tables.

They bring that festive energy to their home in Brooklyn, too. There, they throw parties with their daughters, Santiago, 4, and Quincy, 3, that involve cooking, decorating, and dancing in the living room under a disco ball. Oh, and amazing tablescapes at their dinners.

In a past life, Cushnie founded and owned her eponymous fashion line (originally called Cushnie et Ochs). It was a hit with stars like Jessica Alba — the first big celebrity to wear it — Rhianna, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, and Ashley Graham. Her styles even found their way to the White House, becoming a favorite of the first lady at the time.

These days, Carly’s life is a bit more subdued but no less fulfilling. Here’s how she and Oscar like to roll.

Do you entertain a lot?

We used to throw big parties in the past, but COVID curbed that. But we have dinners here, and drinks parties. And birthdays.

Do you usually have a theme?

We went to Vietnam for our honeymoon and brought back all these Vietnamese lanterns. So, for one party, we lit the garden with them and did a kind of Vietnamese barbecue, and decorated as such. That was a theme, but it’s not always around a theme — usually we base it around food. There’s something my husband wants to cook, and then we decorate around that.

What about celebrating birthdays?

We normally do a family thing all together, dinner and cake and a little dance party at home. I recently had a big birthday, my 40^th, so I celebrated a lot. We had a party with the girls, then an adults-only party. We moved out all the furniture, and I decorated the house with flowers, a disco ball, lights, and LED balloon thingies that created a bit of sparkle. We kept it simple — no theme, just an old-school house party.

Do you go all out for your daughters’ birthdays?

When they turned 3 and 4, it was the biggest party they ever had. They’re a year and a week apart, March 31 and April 8, so we have a party for them together. The weather was kind of iffy, so we moved the furniture and put a little bouncy house inside. It was kind of perfect, actually, a mish-mosh with a beautiful pink princess bouncy house, “Frozen” birthday cake, Mexican food, and drinks for the parents. And we had a piñata outside.

What’s your feeling about birthday gifts?

We give the kids birthday gifts, but my husband and I don’t do gifts. Instead, we do things for each other. We’ll take a trip or have a beautiful meal, or go to a restaurant, or he’ll cook something super, super special. It’s just about being together.

“In springtime, I love to have blossoms. It’s such a happy feeling — it brings joy.”
Carly Cushnie

Do your kids help with the cooking or entertaining?

We try to get them into food as much as we are; it’s something we love. So, for certain parties, we cook and they help make things. For Thanksgiving, I did the décor and desserts, my husband did most of the main dishes with friends, and the kids were all helping prep or roll the dough and cook. They came to the farmers market with me, laid out the table with things from there. We built a tablescape. They’re part of it.

Tell us about your tablescapes.

I do like to play with a table. I love to have fruits and vegetables or beautiful branches; I prefer low things so you can see and talk to everyone. I like to be inspired. Even shopping online for flowers, I like to see what’s new in and of the season.

In springtime, I love to have blossoms. It’s such a happy feeling — it brings joy. My girls just absolutely adore it.

How do you celebrate Mother’s Day?

I like trees and plants. One Mother’s Day, my husband gave me a big tree; it’s in my living room. For some mothers, it’s all about being by themselves — which I totally get — but I just want to be with my kids all day. Oscar will cook with them and make me something like a nice brunch. Or we’ll go to a restaurant if no one’s having a meltdown…it’s touch and go.

What do you and Oscar do to keep the romance going?

For me, it’s more that he goes out of the way to cook something really special or something he’s never made before. Just the other day, I was actually mad at him, so he made me a dukkah; it’s a Mediterranean dish with toasted nuts and different spices and things. He said, “Am I forgiven?” I was like, “Yes. Thank you for my dukkah.”

For Jordan Ferney, Celebrating Occasions Is All About Creating Magical Moments

Jordan Ferney turned her love of celebration into a career and a happy home for her family. As a successful event planner and self-described “creative entrepreneur,” she transformed DIY blogging into the businesses Oh Happy Day and Color Factory, an online party resource and interactive art experience, respectively. Her colorful craft spreads joy whether she’s writing for Domino or planning an ice cream adventure for her three kids: Moses, 16; Roman, 14; and Simone, 7.

She applies her arts and crafts approach to their life too. She restored a greenhouse in the backyard of their weekend home in upstate New York, which she calls “a kind of alter ego.” While there, she likes to cook, garden, and slow down, creating meaningful experiences for her family and friends. “It’s more about enjoying nature up there,” she says. “There are no TVs around; everyone unplugs. We open all the doors and have access to all this pretty wildness.”

Ferney makes moments special — magical, actually — without spending a ton of time or money. “Think about the end feeling and work backward,” she says. For this businesswoman, wife, and mother, it works. Try it.

SEE: Jordan’s Mother’s Day Picks

Where does your creativity come from?

I come from a family of eight kids; my parents are schoolteachers. We didn’t have a lot of money, but both my parents just knew how to create drama and experiences. That’s the environment I was brought up in — it has to be magical and perfect. I want to give that to my children.

Is there an experience you remember as a kid where your parents made something special?

One Christmas morning, my parents gave us a box filled with letters, and we had to figure out what they spelled. Finally, we put it together: “Disneyland!” They were like, “Go pack, we’re leaving in three hours.” It was mayhem! We all went crazy, crying and packing. That’s what I remember. It didn’t cost more to present it like that.

I always love thinking about that. We packed in three hours and went to Disneyland, but it’s the visceral, dramatic moment I remember most.

Can people still do that now, make magic for their kids?

Absolutely. Make it magical. Our kids’ birthdays is their “yes day.” They look forward to it all year. They get to pick what they want, and we try to say “yes” to everything, whether it’s ice cream or a Broadway show. If they want ice cream, we build a giant ice cream sundae.

The book “The Power of Moments” talks all about creating the dramatic moment. People will spend money on an expensive trip, but that memory blends in. Instead, it’s the dramatic things that sear into your brain. Create a ceremony to make it memorable.

How does creating magic every day change life?

It’s being thoughtful about the meaning and being deliberate. It’s really about them, thinking about what you want them to feel, thinking of the end result and working backward. My son’s birthday is in two days, so I’m thinking, “What’s going to make him feel loved? What can I do to remind the people in his life to reach out?” I might collect a quick video from everyone for his phone. I want to make him feel seen and appreciated.

So, is the reveal more important than the gift?

Yeah, FOR SURE. The thing that gets seared in the brain is the drama, the presentation. Like, we make our kids wait till they’re 13 to get phones. So, for my oldest son, we got him an iPhone, but we made a printout on a box that said “Mom Caller” with a picture of Elmo on the front. He was like, “OK,” then he opened it, and it was an iPhone. He still talks about that moment. It’s usually not about the gift — it’s about being playful.

It’s not about money spent — it’s about making the person feel loved and appreciated and seen.
Jordan Ferney

What’s your feeling about birthday gifts?

I really like thoughtful presents. The great thing about having a big family is I have all these nephews and nieces in their early 20s who are so cool, and my kids look up to them like gods. So, I got my 16-year-old a record player and asked all my nieces and nephews to choose records, like their perfect album, and add a Post-It note for when to listen to it. Like for The Smiths, the note says, “Listen when you get broken up with.” It’s soooo cute. That’s an example of something that doesn’t cost more than the actual present but has meaning.

What about reciprocation? Do your kids do anything for you?

It’s SO important to me to make sure I’m raising partners and community members who don’t just rely on me to do it all. Look, I happily do all this work; I want to make it magical. You don’t have to spend a ton of money or all day, but you do have to do something and make sure it’s thoughtful.

Do your kids do something for you on Mother’s Day?

Last year my husband, Paul, was out of town for a conference, so they totally did it by themselves. They made “toy soldiers” with a soft (boiled) egg; it’s a common staple at our house. They did a really good job. I try to emphasize that it’s not about money spent — it’s about making the person feel loved and appreciated and seen.

How do your kids feel about the way you celebrate them and everything else?

It’s our family culture, so they’re into it. I would never force them to do anything — other than their homework, eat a vegetable once a while, and clean their rooms. I’ve realized if you create a really exciting, fun family culture, everyone is first in line — they’re in.

What’s the value in life of making something special?

It’s just more fun. You could do it the boring way or the fun way. It has meaning, and people remember it.

How to Decorate With Plants: Plant Kween Shares Their Best Tips

decorating with plants plant kween holding a plant

Interior decorating: Fun for some, overwhelming for others. Once you have the basics down — Color palette? Check. Layered textures? Check. Patterns and prints? Check. A mix of high/low, and vintage/modern furniture pieces? Check. — then it’s time to invite your friends over and get the party started. Right? Not just yet. The missing element that can truly create a living space is actually, well, living. And we’re not talking about pets.

There’s an art, and plenty of science, to decorating with plants. It’s not just about filling a corner with a palm in a pot. We asked an expert, Brooklyn-based “plantfluencer” Christopher Griffin (they/them) — also known as Plant Kween, lover of plants, fashion, and wellness — to guide us through the process and share some very loose rules for how to enliven your space with these living, breathing, beautiful creatures.

Why decorate with plants?

“It’s important to see the process of bringing plants into a home as more than simply decorating,” Griffin says. “Yes, they’re good for our mental health,” they point out, but “plants also provide us the opportunity to reconnect with nature and ourselves, especially in urban environments, and especially if you don’t have access to green areas where you live.” Plus, research has shown that plants are natural air purifiers, so they literally can help clean the air around us.

‘Decorating’ is a limiting word. This is a bigger process than that. You’re bringing nature into your home. Be curious and willing to learn.

Christopher griffin, aka plant kween

Griffin’s first plant was a marble queen pothos, which they purchased from their local hardware store when they felt their new apartment was missing something. Some 230 specimens later, they have built a 400K following on Instagram based on the idea that plants really do bring life into your home — even if you live alone.

And just as we can express ourselves through decorating, we can also use plants to showcase our style and personalities. “Our gardens can be extensions of our ‘inner gardens,'” Griffin says. “They can be a pathway to self-care.”

How to choose the right plant, room by room

First, understand that you can’t just ask what the plants can do for your space but instead what your space can do for your plants. “Think of the plant first,” Griffin says. That means considering humidity level, temperature, the type of light a room gets (natural or artificial), among other factors. “Then research each plant and match their natural habitat to your environment as much as possible.”

For example, a ZZ plant is light flexible, so it can be placed in many different locations in your space. Orchids are epiphytic, meaning they grow not in the ground but on other plants, and, therefore, can be mounted or even planted outside on the branches of trees. An aloe vera plant is pretty hardy and resilient, so if you’ve got a bad track record with plants, this one might be for you. “You want the plant to stay alive instead of going to that little botanical garden in the sky,” Griffin says.

decorating with plants plant kween posing with plants

They also suggest looking at the function of a room. For example, a bathroom, where hot showers happen daily, tends to have lots of humidity. Which plants thrive in this environment? Air plants, bromeliads, and ferns. “I like to make a little jungle in there,” they say. Or try a mini kitchen garden of herbs that you can pluck from when you’re cooking. In a bedroom, “think of some of NASA’s top-ranking, air-purifying plants so you can breathe in the most delicious oxygen during the night, like snake plants.” In other words, “play matchmaker” with plants and the form and function of a space.

Plants in (unexpected) situ

When it comes to placing plants around your home, don’t be afraid to stray from the norm. Griffin has a utility cart to wheel their plants in front of a sunny window. A bar cart is another idea. “In big cities, where space is a commodity, you may want to go vertical.” To that end, Griffin installed shelves in their Brooklyn apartment, so a lot of plants are on the walls. “They’re my living, breathing pieces of artwork shining all their lushness,” they say. “Bromeliads, air plants, staghorn ferns…you can literally hang them from a wall.”

They also suggest hanging plants from the ceiling or growing a vine along a wall, such as a pothos, spider plant, or philodendron, or letting ivy grow inside from outdoors.

Once you’ve placed your plants, then adjust. “Take some time to see how the plant likes its new space and then decide if you need to make any changes, like getting a humidifier or a grow light, or changing the placement.”

Texture is an element of interior plant design

Another factor to consider is what you want the feel of a space to be. If you’re going for softness, then blooming plants ought to be high on your list. A more spare, arid vibe should lead you to desert euphorbia, cacti, and succulents, Griffin says.

Griffin also suggests playing with plants of varying textures to create a totally original setup. Rules, after all, are meant to be broken. “It’s fun to mix and match plants that don’t usually grow together,” they say. “I kind of mix them all together to create an eclectic bunch of my ‘green gurls.'”

decorating with plants plant kween holding a snake plant in each hand

Consider plants of varying heights

Part optical illusion, part practicality, height does matter when decorating with plants. “I’m really short, so a lot of plants seem really tall to me,” jokes Griffin, who says the tallest plant they have is about 5 feet 8 inches tall.

Taller plants make a space feel smaller, and smaller plants have the opposite effect. “To make my space feel bigger, I go with shorter plants. If I had a larger space with higher ceilings, I would have higher plants,” Griffin says.

If you’re in the latter camp, a baby rubber plant might be a good choice. If the former, and you have high ceilings, a fiddle leaf fig — which can reach 10 feet in height — might be the perfect complement to your space.

Coordinating plants and decorating styles

Does the plant style need to match your décor? “Honestly, that’s the beauty of plants: You can dress them up and place them to fit any kind of home décor or ambience you are going for,” Griffin says. He cites the show “Golden Girls” (though he insists every plant on the set was fake), saying the monstera plant in their residence “fit the Florida vibe.” But that same species looks amazing in Griffin’s friend’s Brooklyn apartment that is decked out in a classic vintage maximalist style. “Plants are very flexible when it comes to the ambience and décor in our homes.” Griffin says.

Placement is another example of plants’ versatility. Try a money tree in front of a wall painted in a solid bold color for one look, or camouflaged with a leafy green jungle wallpaper behind it for a different feeling. “Just like the Pokémon character Ditto, plants can be whatever you want them to be,” Griffin says.

“’Decorating’ is a limiting word,” Griffin says. “This is a bigger process than that. You’re bringing nature into your home. Be curious and willing to learn.”

Plant Kween’s decorating picks

There’s a whole world of plants to choose from when it comes to decorating your home or apartment. Here are a few of Griffin’s favorites.

decorating with plants Marble Queen Pothos Plant — Marble Queen Pothos Plant

decorating with plants zz plant — ZZ Plant

decorating with plants Baby Rubber Plant Peperomia — *Baby Rubber Plant*

Meet Plant Kween, the Brooklyn-based Gardener Who’s Changing the Plant Parenting Game

plant kween interview with pk with plant

Growing up in Philadelphia, Christopher Griffin (they/them) learned about the power and beauty of nature from their great-grandmother, grandmother, and mother — all of whom passed their love of horticulture on to them. Today, Griffin, aka Plant Kween, has more than 370K followers on Instagram, where they post updates about plant tours, shopping excursions, and tips on garden care and cultivation. The account is a window into the life of Plant Kween, who uses nature enthusiastically and daily to learn about and nurture themselves, and ultimately grow.

We caught up with Griffin to learn about their sprawling plant collection, why it’s important for queer and trans people of color to connect with nature, and tips on waking up the plant parent in all of us.

Why is nature essential to human well-being?

From the air we breathe to the food we eat, we would not be here without plants. It’s important people understand that. Also, with the way technology has uprooted us — all puns intended — it has taken us away from the basic simple beauties that nature puts before us. Bringing nature into your home is a lovely way to reconnect with that simple beauty.

How should we care for nature inside our homes and workspaces?

Do the proper research and look up the natural habitats of the plants you bring home. Are they used to growing on trees or in the shade? Try to mimic that scene for the plant, such as humidity and sunlight. Also, make sure the plant has proper room to spread its roots. They need room. And practice patience, trust in yourself, and in the plant as well.

Have you ever had a hard time with a particular plant?

I went through many fiddle-leaf figs (ficus lyrata); she’s known to be a very moody queen in the plant world, but I don’t consider her moody. She’s a queen that knows what she likes, and if you’re not going to give it to her, she’ll drop her leaves. I struggled with that plant; I kept moving her around, and she didn’t like it. She couldn’t establish herself. Many of mine are in the little botanical garden in the sky.

Plants remind us of the different ways we need to care for ourselves. We need room to grow, water, sunlight, air — I incorporate those elements into my every day.

Plant Kween

What are some tips for becoming a great plant parent?

Have a sense of curiosity. You’re caring for something living and breathing that has a history. Be curious; learn about that plant, but also learn about yourself.

For me, I over water — that’s how I kill most of my plants. I realized I’m an over-nurturer; I learned too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, so I had to adjust.

You’ve killed plants? Don’t you have a green thumb?

I don’t believe in the green thumb myth — it’s an anxiety-provoking phrase. People feel you must have these “skills” to take care of plants. That’s not true. You just have to allow yourself to learn.

plant kween interview with pk holding calathea

plant kween interview with pk standing with plants on a table

What advice do you have for someone who is feeling stressed about caring for a particular plant?

It’s a natural feeling to have; some plants are just difficult to care for.

I would encourage them to reassess. Maybe that plant is just not the plant for your space, or maybe it was not going to survive no matter what you did. I have over 225 plants, but I’m not going to even count how many plants I’ve had that trial-and-error moment with.

If a plant is stressing you out, give it away. Give it to a person who is equipped with better space or more time. I’ve given tons of plants away. I check on them, and they’re all doing great.

Research shows that talking to your plants helps them grow. Do you talk to your plants. If so, what kinds of conversations do you have with them?

Yes, I do talk to my plants sometimes, but it’s more for me than for my plants, like a motivational talk. “You are growing, girls!” It’s a reminder that I can keep growing, too; I’m like a medium having a conversation with myself.

They say the same thing about playing music for your plants. Research suggests there are soundwaves that impact the cellular interaction of the plants, which may help them grow. The more probable thing is a person speaking or playing music is providing top-level care for their plants.

Do your plants talk back? Or communicate with you?

All the time. [People] are basically houseplants with complex emotions, so a lot of things plants go through, we go through, too. Sometimes our plants get stagnant, and they stop growing — same with us. We all need room to grow. Sometimes plants need to let go of yellowing leaves and concentrate their energy elsewhere, like us. My plants speak to me, and it’s important for me to listen.

What do your plants say to you?

They tell me when they need water — that’s when they wilt. Certain plants are literally screaming at me: “Girl, I need a drink!” I investigate what are the better ways I can care for this plant, and then I do it.

How is your love for plants related to fashion or your lifestyle?

I am a person who is really inspired by the different leaf shapes of particular plants, so sometimes I use that for fashion inspiration, like a silhouette I want to wear. But on a deeper level, when you’re caring for plants in your home, there’s an appreciation for what the earth is providing. I’ve changed some of my own behaviors around sustainability and how I can be better for the planet, because I understand how fragile nature can be.

How are plants part of a wellness routine?

Studies show plants reduce our level of anxiety and stress. I have been navigating anxiety for most of my life, and plants have provided me with an opportunity to just sit still. Gardening is my meditation, so every day I interact with my plants in a very intentional way.

I’m a routine queen. I love my routine; it helps me feel grounded. Plants remind us of the different ways we need to care for ourselves. We need room to grow, water, sunlight, air — I incorporate those elements into my every day.

How are you and plants creating conversation in the QTPOC (queer and trans people of color) space?

As a Black person, and understanding some of the historical trauma that Black folks have experienced with nature, in times of slavery, it’s a reclaiming and reimagining of what that interaction can look like for me. And as a queer, non-binary person who is constantly reimagining and redefining my place in this world, my plants give me space for rest, rejuvenation, and relaxation. Plus, there’s the need for Black, queer, non-binary joy, and plants are my way to experience joy.

With regard to representation, I remember when I started the PlantKween Instagram account, I didn’t put myself in the picture. Then I started looking around the digital community and realized there can always be more Black, queer, non-binary, and trans folks engaging with horticulture. We deserve representation and visibility in these spaces.

What are some of your favorite plants?

I love succulents, mainly because there are so many different varieties in all parts of the world, which speaks to their resiliency. Another fave is, obviously, the pothos, and, in particular, the variegated version, marble queen pothos, my very first plant. And monstera deliciosa, aka the Swiss cheese plant. I have a 30-year-old one near and dear to my heart, and it has been growing wonderfully.

What are some care tips for the 2023 Plant of the Year, the calathea rattlesnake?

Calatheas are known to be queens that will brown very easily on the tips. So, my number one tip for taking care of them is to make sure they are in a humid place. Calathea are understory plants (plants that grow naturally in low-light conditions); they’re used to those humid, shaded environments. A bathroom, or any room with a humidifier, is a wonderful place for that plant. Be mindful of how you water it, too, as it may need more water than other plants.

You live in Brooklyn, where space is often limited. Do you have any advice on how plant lovers can turn their small spaces into their own personal oasis?

Get creative. I encourage folks to take time with their space. When I moved into mine, I ordered pizza and sat on the floor and mapped out the space, just watched the sun move through the space. It was so peaceful, calm, and meditative.

Get to know your space. Where are the heaters? The AC? The cold drafts? The warm drafts? Is there central air? For smaller spaces, go vertical. I put up all this shelving in my space and applied grow lights where I didn’t have a lot of lighting. I put plants on a utility cart. Get creative, have fun, and don’t stress out. That’s how to reinvigorate the plant parent within you.

Let There Be Light: Winter Decorating With Rachel Ashwell

Rachel Ashwell has always lived on the light side of life. Not only does she split her time between the idyllic English countryside and sunny Los Angeles, but her Shabby Chic® line of home furnishings was originally based, to a large extent, on a palette of white. The same goes for her approach to decorating in winter: She lets the light in.

Winter decorating doesn’t have to be dark

Winter months are really about reflection, nurturing, and restoring.

rachel ashwell

“We often think in winter everything should be dark. But you don’t have to match the inside to the heavy darkness outside,” Ashwell says. That means the indoor color palette can stay light. “You can have soft, kind of spiritual, soothing colors, but layers of them,” Ashwell suggests. (Her Christmas decorating palette, like her home furnishings line, is always based on white, with pink and silver accents added in. She also incorporates lots of feathers and has a favorite white feather wreath she pulls out every year.)

Layering is also a way to achieve comfort. Whether that means an extra set of curtains over lacy summer sheers, stacks of throw blankets, or a basket of vintage linens, she layers for coziness. Ashwell also likes to layer actual lights, in the form of candles, lamps, and other practical lighting. “I adore lovely lighting with candles. That’s not to say you can’t use candles all year round, but they take center stage when nights are shorter,” she says. “That’s what I love about winter.”

Creating a winter tablescape

This concept of season-less light extends to Ashwell’s table, too, regardless of whether she is entertaining friends and/or family. “The tablescape doesn’t change massively season to season for me,” she says. “It could be a winter whitescape using vintage linens. A whole white wonderland of linens is as beautiful in winter as it is in summer.”

Of course, it’s possible to incorporate more earth tones with a darker tablecloth and napkins as a base too, she says. Ashwell may even pull out some darker vintage china and place berry branches on the table. “But then focus on creating a beautiful scape of candles.” Whether votives, candlesticks, or candelabras, layer the light against a darker background, she advises. Another tip? “Try finding candles that drip,” Ashwell says. Yes, drip. “They have so much more character than the dripless variety.”

Practical tips for setting a beautiful table

No matter the time of year, it’s important to remember that you are gathered around a table to talk and see people — and, of course, eat. So, Ashwell says, whatever you build on the tablescape, make sure guests can see and talk to each other, and you leave enough room for the food. “As with everything, less is more. Just curate it. Think about the space, people, and be mindful about the practical element so the decorating is not annoying.” Perhaps your arts and crafts creation becomes a take-home souvenir for each guest. Her mantra has always been “Beauty, Comfort, Function,” so the tablescape has to function as a backdrop and not overwhelm the conversation or meal. Being “ornamental for the sake of being ornamental” goes against everything Ashwell believes in.

To ornament or not to ornament?

Speaking of ornaments, we can’t let the season slide by without addressing the age-old question of whether to place ornaments on a tree or not, and what kind to use. “I love ornaments, but I’m very selective.” You don’t have to fill a tree with decorations your kids have made if it turns into a “hodgepodge” or if they’ve grown up. Ashwell keeps her light palette in mind when selecting ornaments and likes to layer them, tucking in some of the larger ones back on tree branches and leaving the smaller ornaments on the outside. “All my ornaments are somewhat color coordinated, so I can’t really go wrong.” She likes whimsical ornaments (her website this season features a set of three white sparrows, one decorated with pink feathers and all wearing crowns), ornaments with religious icons, such as a cross, and those that aren’t necessarily Christmas themed. She prefers vintage ornaments, which she says can still easily be found at flea markets.

Ashwell’s go-to winter florals

Though the garden may be dormant in winter, you can still find flowers this time of year. Ashwell is a big fan of carnations, which she refers to as “the unsung heroes.” For her, she stays away from reds and opts instead for pinks or two-toned varieties. She likes greenery used on its own but not in floral arrangements, as it takes away from the heroes — the flowers themselves.

decorating for winter with bedroom flowers

She also praises faux flowers. “Don’t be afraid of fake flowers. I’m sitting here now looking at a bowl of peonies you would never think are not real.”

Dried flowers are another option, but you need to think ahead if you want to do it yourself. “Keep a nice selection of blooming flowers during the summer months, and hang them upside down so they keep their shape while drying,” Ashwell says. “Then they can be used during the winter months to create some amazing masterpieces.”

Finding inspiration in the winter months

Most of us spend less time outside during the winter, and our online activities, perusing sites like Pinterest and Instagram, may replace what we would be doing if we left the house. But there is still inspiration to be had, Ashwell asserts. “It’s really more about being open to inspiration,” she says. “Hotels, restaurants, how a store is merchandised, going to a museum, or seeing a painting that carries you away; it’s out there, just keep your eyes open.”

However you decorate, think about the feeling you want to evoke. “Winter months are really about reflection, nurturing, and restoring,” Ashwell says. “So, whether it’s a soothing blanket or the right candles, the right books to reach for, or anything that prompts that type of emotion, that’s what these longer nights and darker days are all about. To me, in a weird way, that’s what brings the light in.”

Bringing the Outside In: How to Decorate for Fall With Shabby Chic® Founder Rachel Ashwell

Rachel Ashwell is relieved summer is over and fall has arrived. “Fall followed by winter are my favorite seasons of the year,” Ashwell says. “I’m thrilled the day after Labor Day.” She loves the cooler weather, the crunch of leaves under her feet, and finds fall to be a time when the hustle and bustle of summer quiets down. The British-born Ashwell likes to live by the rhythm of natural light, and as the days get shorter, the opportunity to go inward and reflect suits her temperament just fine.

Fall home decor

It’s also a time for a fresh start, when structure reasserts itself and we resume our regular lives and routines, she says, and that can start with home décor. “The fall gives you the inspiration to add a layer of a warmer, kind of smokier palette.”

When you have an intimate setting, it inspires meaningful, authentic, and interesting conversation.

Rachel Ashwell

Her classic Shabby Chic® shades of pastel pinks, blues, and greens go from lighter hues to jewel tones like raspberry, plum, violet, teal, and sage. “So the palette stays in the same lane,” she says. At home, she adds a layer back to her windows, whether with velvet puddling curtains (very English) or muted floral window treatments. She pulls out the winter slipcovers and stacks her favorite cashmere and faux fur throws. “It’s both a functional and an aesthetic change,” she says.

That goes for bedding, too. Layering comforters and duvets is a practical and pleasing way to spruce and can help save a little on the heating bill as well. Lighting can be a cozy, too. “I’m big on having lamps around that give a beautiful romantic light. I buy bulbs in the 15 to 40 watt range for my lamps, unless they’re for reading. I’m very much about where practical meets aesthetic in a mood.”

Fall floral design at home

Decorating with flowers in the fall gets a little trickier, as the season is not exactly blooming season. “Obviously, in fall, we think of oranges and greens, but that’s not my palette,” Ashwell says. So, she brings in a lot of dried, smoky-colored hydrangea. Just be sure to toss dried flowers after a while, she says, adding, “There’s nothing worse going into someone’s home and seeing dusty, old dried flowers that have been in a vase for five years.”

Ashwell is also a huge fan of fake flowers. Yes, fake. She even designs a line of them. “I consider fake flowers to be forever flowers,” she says. “You can bring in the flowers you love all year round, which is especially helpful in these seasons where color and availability are more restrictive.”

A rose is a rose…

The supermarket doesn’t take the place of a garden, but it can fill in with roses. Of course, Ashwell loves garden roses way more than a hothouse variety, but if that’s all she can find, “I just cut the stems and remove all the leaves of six hothouse roses so that all you see is a jar or vase of blossoms. Sometimes, they do open quite beautifully. I don’t poo-poo them.”

The same goes for carnations; though she doesn’t go for the red varietals, she loves the white, minus the greenery. “It’s all about the vase filled with buds.”

Decorating the table for fall gatherings

Ashwell also sees the fall as an opportunity for gathering close family and friends, “to talk about what the summer was, what the fall opportunities are, what your fall intentions are.” She prefers gathering six or eight people, not 50, so guests can really talk and share. “When you have that intimate setting, it inspires meaningful, authentic, and interesting conversation.” She will often have a theme, game, or question for guests to inspire and act as an ice-breaker.

To create an intimate setting, Ashwell relies on her cherished items to evoke abundance. When she has a small dinner party, she places fabric runners in her fall palette of smoky jewel tones on the length and width of the table, sets places often with placemats she has designed, and stacks vintage plates on a side table along with a basket filled with extra napkins. “I let my extra vintage dinnerware be part of the décor without the table itself having to be more than what’s needed.” A practical tip? Ashwell suggests using vintage pieces as décor and chargers but serving food on plain white plates.

decorating for fall with fall tablescape

decorating for fall with fall place setting

Layering — whether vintage or new plates, or runners and placemats on a previously loved painted or pine table — is part of Ashwell’s mix-and-match philosophy. So, if you lose a couple of napkins or chip a plate, it’s OK — just create a varied collection. “It’s beautiful and practical,” she says, another pillar of her style.

Avoiding holiday clichés

Palette is important to Ashwell, and a way to avoid holiday decorating clichés. “Pumpkins don’t have to be orange,” she says. So, instead of opting for an orange and black Halloween, try silvers and pinks. “Stay in tradition of elements but be flexible in the palette.”

Fall allows you to be part of the outside. For me, it’s experiencing what this transitional season is all about.

Rachel Ashwell

Fall activities and date ideas

The fall is a time for walking outside in nature, Ashwell believes. Collecting branches, berries, and foliage — she likes to bring inside what’s outdoors and use it as décor — finding naturally dried hydrangea clinging to their stalks, and pruning a garden are all activities to do with someone, as is scouring flea markets and vintage shops for antique China and slightly worn vases. Sharing activities are part of getting to know and connecting with others. So, friends and family members, or even romantic dates, might be inspired by these outings, whether you are preparing to decorate for a gathering or not. “Having a backdrop of a common interest takes the walls down a little bit,” she says.

Looking forward to cozy time in fall

“From a comfort standpoint, it’s a cozier time to go on dates in general. Bring out the shawls, light a fire, go into a local pub…there’s just something a bit more romantic about a fall date than a summer date,” she says. And since Ashwell likes to focus inward, the season’s coziness is the perfect ambiance for also being creative, and that’s what she looks forward to the most. “All that outward energy that’s been expanded upon and let go of in summer now can come down to landing and be articulated, manifested, and communicated in a structured way.”

Bringing the indoors out

The cooler vibe of fall doesn’t mean staying inside, Ashwell urges. She likes to bring the indoors out, say, gathering on a screen porch with friends. With her beloved throws, “lots of lovely candlelight,” or perhaps a fire, she creates a beautiful and comfortable environment to reconnect with herself and others. “Fall allows you to be part of the outside. For me, it’s experiencing what this transitional season is all about.”

The Coastal Grandmother Aesthetic Has Arrived. Here’s How You (and Your Home) Can Look the Part

As I pulled out my navy ribbed cotton sweater from my beat-up boat and tote bag while sitting on the beach in East Hampton, my 26-year-old friend Carrie suggested I have a tag sale to sell my vintage clothes. I had not thought of my classic pieces (striped boatnecks, loose linen pants, straw beach hats) as vintage, but I guess since they’re from the ’80s and ’90s, technically they are. Then Carrie threw in the zinger: “You’re kind of a coastal grandmother.” What??? I’m not a grandmother, or even a mother, so I was utterly confused. Then she explained the TikTok/Instagram phenomenon to me.

And wouldn’t you know it, she had described me to a T.

Here’s the official coastal grandmother checklist…

Lives in a cedar-shingled beach house, with the relaxed attitude to go with it.

Check.

Grows herbs on her back deck for whipping up pesto and quinoa salad.

Coastal grandmother is what we all should look like when we stop following the trends.

Andrea Linett

Fashion expert, author, and blogger

Check.

Enjoys rosé on the early side (ahem!).

Check.

Frequents farms and farm stands, and then bakes pies for friends.

Check.

Wears straw hats, button-down menswear shirts, and stacked rings from every decade of life.

Check

Never leaves home without her trusty canvas tote bag.

Check.

Has a white kitchen, often with a marble island, where she serves hand-picked lettuce in one of six or seven raw-edge wooden bowls.

Check.

Still can’t picture what a coastal grandmother looks like? Think Diane Keaton’s character in Something’s Gotta Give (or, actually, any Nancy Meyers movie heroine) or your mom’s chic friend from Montecito.

Either way, #Coastalgrandmother has more than 23,000 posts on Instagram, including one from Anne Hathaway, in which she’s wearing a white button-down shirt and cream-colored cotton pants, straw hat, and oversized shades over the caption “I have been ready for #coastalgrandmother chic since before TikTok was born. May this moment never end.” The post has over 770K likes.

The coastal grandmother trend started on TikTok earlier this year and has caught on with the Gen Z/millennial crowd — like my friend Carrie, a podcaster and Instagram aficionado — so it’s officially a thing. Whether you actually live this way or not, anyone can look the part.

coastal grandmother with older woman gardening

The coastal grandmother wardrobe

“Coastal grandmother is what we all should look like when we stop following the trends,” says Andrea Linett, fashion expert and author of The Cool Factor and the blog I Want To Be Her!. “It’s just good quality pieces worn with the attitude of ‘I have things going on other than worrying about what I look like. I’m focused on life and I’m going to make tomato and corn salad now with fresh basil picked from my own garden.’ That’s what I picture.”

The look, Linett says, specifically means linen pants, button-down Brooks Brothers shirts, French striped sailor shirts, a bolero sun hat with a chin strap, a classic loafer or Birkenstock, L.L. Bean bags, and, “if you can, a really nice watch.” “Anything menswear works,” she says. “And there’s a causal haphazard roll up of a sleeve because you’re making that salad, maybe even a half-tuck, dare I say.” It can be crumpled but still polished. And this look should not be confused with preppy (think K.Jacques sandals, not Jack Rogers) or Palm Beach (skip the Lilly Pulitzer).

The coastal grandmother interior design

The home, where the coastal grandmother spends a lot of time reading, cooking, and entertaining friends, is a big part of the vibe, too. “I sum it up as a timeless, casual, comfortably luxurious space where nothing is ostentatious, but everything is beautiful,” says interior designer Michael Del Piero, who has design studios in both the Hamptons and Chicago. “It’s a new version of a grandmother, and she’s super chic,” she says, adding that she actually is the “coastal” grandmother to two grandsons. When she designs interiors, Del Piero often incorporates an extra-long, weathered farm table in the kitchen as an island, white slipcovers on sofas, candleliers (instead of chandeliers), rattan or wicker furniture, woven natural seagrass rugs (as opposed to newly made or Oriental rugs), and found items from nature or yard sales.

How to get the coastal grandmother look in your home

It’s easy to bring a little coastal grandmother into your home, no matter your age or where you live. Linen is a big part of the look — linen slipcovers, linen dresses, linen napkins, says Del Piero. She also suggests keeping the palette neutral, with whites, oatmeal, and “sea glass sorts of colors, like aqua and light blue,” not patterns or bright colors. Layer textures like fur and terrycloth in these solid neutral colors. And accessorize to channel your own coastal grandma: stacked dishes on open shelves, pillows or oversized floor cushions made from worn antique rugs, or a rustic wooden bowl of lemons or fruit in the kitchen — cliché as they may sound — sum up the vibe. Natural objects, such as driftwood, olive branches, and wildflowers, can create the mood on a table. Avoid anything “too brassy, too shiny, too new, too silky, or too formal,” Del Piero says.

coastal grandmother with Luxury Modern Living Room

That idea of repurposing items applies to what you wear, too. Linett suggests vintage madras or tuxedo shirts, men’s button-downs, and minimal gold jewelry, perhaps inherited. “Vintage looks like you had it in your closet for years, even though it was in someone else’s,” Linett says.

Why coastal grandmother is in

Why is coastal grandmother so popular right now? Perhaps people are looking for a more relaxed approach to life, and the aesthetic is just an extension of that feeling. We take comfort in living life simply, focusing on the basics, enjoying nature and friends, appreciating the beauty of a perfectly ripe tomato or buttery pie crust.

We also feel nostalgia for an easier time.

“The world is so crazy right now, the last thing you need to do is worry about what you’re putting on all the time,” Linett says. “This look is not tone deaf, it’s not flashy or inappropriate, because there are more important things going on (in the world).”

Right she is. I’m off to the beach to ponder life in my linen pants under the shade of my straw bolero hat. I’m lucky I kept my striped shirts from high school. Sorry, Carrie, this coastal grandmother is not selling.

For Rachel Ashwell, Mother’s Day Is About Nurturing, Being Indulged

The series “MVP Moms” explore the critical role moms play at the heart of families — and how they run the world. In this article, Rachel Ashwell dives into her experiences as a mother and how she hopes to celebrate Mother’s Day this year with advice on relationships and décor.

a photo of Rachel Ashwell with her kids — Rachel Ashwell with her daughter, Lily, and her son, Jake.

When Rachel Ashwell opened her Shabby Chic® store on Montana Avenue in Los Angeles 33 years ago, her daughter was 2, and her son was just a few weeks old. She didn’t know at the time what a mega-empire she would go on to build, or how the very idea of Shabby Chic® — an aesthetic she created that involves soft, floral upholstery fabrics, weather-worn furniture, and vintage pieces — would become not only a part of the design lexicon but of our culture.

She also wasn’t thinking about how being a divorced working mom would affect her ability to raise her children. She just wanted to open a little shop that would allow her to arrange her own schedule so she could be with her kids.

Her children are adults now — she also has a stepdaughter with whom she’s close — and her business is mature, with her original store moving up the California coast to Summerland, near Montecito. Mother’s Day can be an unexpected holiday for Ashwell since she and her kids are often scattered around the globe. “Someone’s always 6,000 miles away,” she says.

Her own mother, when she was alive, lived in England while Ashwell was in California. Today, she still gets to celebrate twice because Mother’s Day falls on a different day in the UK than in the U.S. Her son recently called to wish her a happy Mother’s Day, taking her by surprise. It was, unbeknownst to Ashwell, Mother’s Day across the pond.

We spoke with Ashwell about how she balanced raising a family while running a business, what advice she would give herself as a young mom, and how she celebrates Mother’s Day now. She also tossed in some advice for all moms on this special day.

How was it being a single working mom while building an empire?

Of course, there are things I know now I wish I knew then. But, at that time, I had my formula of how to balance everything. I wanted to be as present as possible, with my work and with my “mommy hat” on. It was very important for me to drop my kids at school and pick them up; between those hours, I compartmentalized how to get things done for work. I don’t recall being overwhelmed or stressed out — I just recall being very organized.

Do you have any advice you would give yourself as a young mom?

My children grew up seeing me work really hard. Maybe I wish I had more “fun” time. I was like, “I’ll do that then,” and a lifetime has gone by. It’s a double-edged sword because the bulk of what I do is my creative escape, and it’s lovely. But I would say — speaking to myself — do make sure to find time to do nothing. Doing nothing has its own value.

Do you have advice for other moms or for anyone balancing a creative business with life?

Check back in with yourself, especially when you have the good fortune of a lot of success. Is your life in alignment with your dream? Not the outside dream of what looks good on paper but the inside dream. Don’t put a square peg in a round hole.

For me, I had the opportunity to open 50 stores with investors, and I went along with that, enthusiastically. But, in actuality, I’m a flea market girl. It’s better for me to have Shabby Chic® in unique places on great funky streets, in Malibu, in Soho, in artisan places. So, make sure to choose your paths and opportunities in alignment with who you are.

What was the best part about your relationship with your mom?

Her gentleness and being non-judgmental about anyone or anything, even when I was 15 and I said I was leaving school. I always felt safe to share things with her. She was also ahead of her time. She exposed me to color therapy, reiki, and meditation, all in the ’80s. My parents were flea market people; I would learn at flea markets with them. That was lovely. There’s just something very simple about my mom I really treasure.

How can all we find meaning in Mother’s Day, whether we have a mother or children, or not?

It’s important not to stay in the literal classification of what a mother is. Take care of all mamas, and there are a million different ways to do that. Unless you are a complete hermit, chances are there’s an older female person you look to for their motherly qualities — see them or reach out to them. Maybe there are other children you’ve taken on a motherly role for; just kind of acknowledge it. Put a little spotlight on those relationships. I don’t underestimate the value of being a mother to pets either!

The more time we can just learn who our mothers were and are is of fantastic value. Anyone who’s got a mother out there, find a way to really find out who this wonderful person is who brought you into this world.

Rachel Ashwell

How do you celebrate Mother’s Day now?

It’s been years since my kids and I have lived in the same place, so I tend to value every second I have with them. My daughter is very good at self-care, she’ll say, “Let’s have a mani-pedi or massage that’s all about you.” And then, of course, she comes along for the ride. We tend to go for very nurturing activities I always really enjoy.

With my son, we communicate differently. He knows I love nothing more than just sitting and talking. That’s a gift unto itself. Plus, he always sends me an orchid. He knows I’m so picky about flowers, he can’t go really wrong with an orchid.

What do you do special for a Mother’s Day tablescape?

I pull out some of my little trinkets, delicate details of things I have in my world — that’s how I enhance my table. Beautiful flowers are always my anchors, and then beautiful china and beautiful napkins. If a mom is there, so is a wrapped gift. I have lots of leftover beautiful wrapping paper. I keep paper from gifts I receive and reuse it, or I use pieces of vintage wallpaper; there are lots of wonderful sources of vintage paper online. I also have a big box of fabulous vintage ribbons and another box of vintage velvet and silk flowers. It’s not like I buy horrible gifts for people, but often my gift wrapping supersedes the gift.

What gift ideas do you have for Mother’s Day? I’m sure flowers is on your list.

The whole world of flowers is a metaphor for all kinds of relationships. It reminds us whatever the season is there’s a rhythm to relationships. Flowers are beautiful, of course, but sending them on an occasion just feels like the right thing to do. Also, a lovely gift is a plant to plant in a garden, something to be nurtured and grow.

Mothers often put themselves last on their list of who to take care of, so a nurturing, self-indulgent gift, like a luxurious soap, a beautiful candle, or a really yummy throw, is a good idea. Mother’s Day is more about indulgence, not practicality. It’s nice to indulge your mother, and it’s really lovely to be indulged.

What advice would you give to someone who has a mom on Mother’s Day?

It’s a tremendously valuable relationship. The more time we can just learn who our mothers were and are is of fantastic value. Anyone who’s got a mother out there, find a way to really find out who this wonderful person is who brought you into this world.

The Best 50th Birthday Gift Ideas

From winning gift ideas to card message suggestions, “Birthdays Reimagined” provides tips to help you make your loved one’s birthday wishes come true. Shopping is easy with this list of 50th birthday gift ideas that will keep your loved one smiling all night long.

middle-aged friends celebrating a birthday

Those of us approaching our 50th birthday remembers the days when department stores thrived and everything came with a logo. It was the ’80s, when we also watched “Dynasty” and “Dallas” on picture tube televisions.

Life, and living, are different now. Turning 50 is certainly a major milestone, but marking it with a status symbol is no longer what most of us are looking for. We want feelings and connections — and the experiences that give us those feelings and connections.

Lifestyle expert Katie Brown says one of her most meaningful gifts was a spiral notebook (paper!) of go-to recipes compiled by one of her favorite home cooks. She says feels their friendship every time she makes one of the recipes. Michael Clinton, publishing executive and author of ROAR: into the second half of life (before it’s too late), says he celebrated his 50^thwith a group of friends on a trip to Antarctica.

“That was the best present for me, a life experience we will share forever,” he says.

Expression goes a long way

The traditional 50^th birthday gift is gold, as in entering our “golden years,” I suppose. But come on, I’m starting to finally do the things I wanted to do as a teenager, such as drive a stick shift convertible, have long hair, and date fun boyfriends (not long-haired boyfriends). Gifts should reflect our youthful spirit, no matter the chronology, and they don’t have to be gold.

LA-based philanthropist Eve Somer says her special 50^th gift was a short film with clips from all her best friends and family, put together by her boyfriend, who happens to be a professional filmmaker. “I’ve never felt more celebrated or more loved,” she says.

Tips for giving great gifts

The key to giving a great gift (short of flying to Antarctica) is to consider what makes the recipient happy and fits with their unique personality, not yours (and no regifting!). In the past few years, I’ve baked brownies or a cake for a friend on their birthday, and then packaged it in a beautiful box with a ribbon, or a silver-plated cake server, because everyone likes brownies and cake, right?

Here are 11 gift suggestions based on the recipient’s personality or background that will allow you to send something they’ll love, especially if you can’t celebrate in person. (And no age-shaming! Point out that 50 really is the new 50.) Our new motto should be, it’s not just the thought that counts but the feeling, too.

50th birthday gift ideas

Flowers

Sending flowers, even on the same day, is always a winning gesture. You can also give that feeling every month with a flower delivery subscription. There’s even a vibrant “flower cake” made entirely of blooms that can be delivered on a white cake plate.