It’s always nice to buy dad something for Father’s Day, but making him something you know he’ll love is an extra special touch. If you’re looking for a Father’s Day craft that fits dad’s personality, why not try this unique planter? All you need are just a few plants, soil, and a container!
Materials needed for DIY Father’s Day planter
Ceramic container (I used a golf ball planter, but feel free to be creative!)
Soil
3-4 plants of different height, preferably a type with vines, such as philodendron.
Plants we used include:
Tricolor marginata
Philodendron
Mini palm
Spanish moss
How to make a DIY Father’s Day planter
Take your container and fill it one-tenth of the way full with potting soil. (The amount will depend on the depth of the container.)
Place your plants, one at a time, in the container. Use the plant with vines first to one side, the tallest to the back or center of the planter, and the shorter plant to the opposite side.
Add soil, compacting as you go. Compact or compress the soil around the individual plants to get rid of air pockets.
Lightly water the plant.
Add your Spanish moss as a finishing touch to the completed planter.
Give this fun Father’s Day craft to dad and watch him smile with joy!
Note: Plants are easier to work with when the soil is dry. Therefore, if you’re able to, get them a couple of days in advance. If you are not sure how to take care of it, refer to our plant care section.
Hope you and your dad have an amazing Father’s Day!
Our series “Celebrating Motherhood” shares inspiring stories, helpful advice, and insightful recommendations for choosing the perfect gifts to express your love for moms of all types. Learn more about the artists who created the beautiful and unique Mother’s Day NFTs for 1-800-Flowers.com.
We at 1-800-Flowers.com are always looking to innovate and celebrate life’s most important moments. This Mother’s Day, we’ve engaged with two artists, Maaz Raheel and Devi Namira Amalia, to create our own mint of NFTs that celebrates moms and the special people they are.
Raheel and Namira have a lot in common. Both hail from Asia — Raheel is Pakistani, while Namira was born in Indonesia. They’ve been creating art since they were little, and both say they were inspired throughout their careers by mothers who nurtured their talent and encouraged them to pursue their craft.
The reverence Raheel and Namira have for their mothers — and all mothers — is evident in their NFT art. The moms depicted in their collections represent an incredibly diverse range of backgrounds, but they all have one thing in common: They reflect the special and unique bond that exists between a child and mother.
We wanted to get to know our NFT artists a little better, so we asked them about their background, their work, and their mothers.
Maaz Raheel
Can you tell us about your background? What led to you becoming an artist?
From the beginning, I’ve tried to find aesthetics in different art styles. I have experimented with a lot of different styles to find my “cup of tea,” with the sole aim of creating magic and becoming a stellar artist through drive and devotion. I’ve worked my way here, but I still have a lot of room to improve.
How did you get into NFT art?
NFTs are the talk of the town and a big opportunity for every artist. I still remember the first time I heard the term “NFT” and how it would change the way people look at digital art. I was so excited and intrigued by this new technology that I pulled a couple of all-nighters to learn and create my first NFTs. My pursuit of staying ahead of the curve in developing and learning new art styles, paired with my vision to grow as a digital artist, led me to NFTs.
Tell us about your mother. What kind of woman is she, and how has she influenced your life?
My mother is a gem of a person. I am where I am today because of her sacrifice and blessings. She has always been there for me, be it cheering for me at school presentations or pushing me to bring out the best in myself. In fact, I created my first piece of artwork for my mother’s birthday. It was a simple design, but to her it was priceless, and her eyes light up every time she looks at it. She has truly inspired me to become a better artist. I can never repay my mother.
What was your inspiration for the 1-800-Flowers.com NFT art?
I was inspired by the beautiful occasion they are for! Plus, I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for all mothers. Children never know the sacrifices their parents make while raising them, and I wanted to portray the beautiful relationship between mothers and their children.
Devi Namira Amalia
Can you tell us about your background and what led to you becoming an artist?
I come from Salatiga, a small town surrounded by mountains in Indonesia. I have loved drawing ever since I was little, and at some point I decided to make a career out of it.
How did you get into NFT art?
NFTs have become a “thing” lately. Every collection is unique, and you can make such a big impact with them. I see them as a way for me to get my art out into the world in a way that can benefit charities and help organizations raise awareness for important causes.
How did you develop your artistic style?
My mom noticed my interest in art, so she decided to put me in art lessons when I was five. For years, I gradually developed my skills, and now I can take on commissions that people really love.
What was your inspiration for these pieces?
For this NFT collection, my main inspiration was my own imagination. One of my personal goals is to have my own flower garden, and I made these look exactly like I want my garden to look. For features like the clothes and hairstyles, I selected traits that I find most attractive.
Tell us about your mother. What kind of woman is she, and how has she influenced your life?
I always tear up when I think about my mom. She is the most important person in my life. She came from a very poor family that lived on the street, but she has worked really hard so I don’t have to go through what she did.
She is the one who keeps me on track. At times, my life has been really difficult, but whenever I think of her, it always makes me want to go back on the right track. She inspires me to want to be as strong as she is, and I always want to do my best to make her the happiest mom ever.
Our series “MVP Moms” explores the critical role moms play at the heart of families. The story of how Tori Foles overcame a series of health issues to be the mother of two children is one of tragedy and restoration.
Former Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles has scaled the highest peaks in the National Football League. But he’d also be the first to tell you his tough-as-nails wife, Tori, is the real MVP — Most Valuable Parent — of the Foles household.” to “Former Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles has scaled the highest peaks in the National Football League. But he’d also be the first to tell you his tough-as-nails wife, Tori, is the real MVP — Most Valuable Parent — of the Foles family household.
“She’s never wavered, never complained,” he says. “Knowing Tori before she was a mother and seeing her motherly instincts kick in has been so special. She’s just so strong.
“But I’ll say, it’s been a journey.”
Blossoming love
Pals at the University of Arizona, the Foles blossomed into a couple after graduation, reconnecting as Nick was embarking on his career as a quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles.
The budding star was in LA for a trading card event and called Tori to “catch up.” That’s when, he says, “God revealed our attraction for each other in a unique way that we weren’t expecting.”
Though he was in Philly and she was living in Portland, they cemented their romance with some long-distance dating and stolen weekends together.
“The foundation of who we have been and where we began was our friendship,” Nick says.
That bond proved crucial when they were forced to tackle challenges that would have sacked other couples.
First sign of trouble
While at a concert in Portland, Oregon, in 2013, Tori suddenly was overcome with feelings of weakness and nausea. “I just felt terrible…like I was going to pass out,” she says.
When the illness persisted the following day, she went to a doctor, who wrote it off as a “virus.”
The feeling just wouldn’t go away, though, so she visited a California neurologist, who diagnosed her with POTS [Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome], a little-known, debilitating neurological disease.
“I couldn’t spend more than a few minutes on my feet,” she says. “I didn’t know how I was going to do it.”
But she did know she could count on Nick to be there to help — and make things better.
Taking the next step
He flew Tori and her entire family to Arizona, where she would get treatment at the Mayo Clinic, and he would propose to her at his uncle’s home in Scottsdale in February 2014.
“Everyone came out, yelling, and jumping up and down,” he recalls. “I put the ring on, and we kissed and hugged and probably cried. It took our mind off what was going on.”
Two years later, the Foles were ready to be parents, but Tori was concerned about how her POTS would affect her ability to become a mom.
When her doctor encouraged her, they moved ahead — but Tori struggled with her pregnancy.
“I was extremely sick for the first 20 weeks,” she admits. Despite the early troubles, she gave birth to a healthy baby daughter, Lily, on June 16, 2017.
Their winning streak continued when Nick led Philly to an improbable Super Bowl win in 2017. After the season, he signed a big contract with the Jacksonville Jaguars, and Tori got pregnant again.
Near-death experience
But misfortune sacked their happiness once more. Fifteen weeks into her pregnancy, Tori came down with a sore throat, followed by a fever. Having gone to the ER but sent home to rest, she awoke later that night to her water breaking and rushed back to the hospital.
“It was the same pain as delivering at 40 weeks. It was full-on labor,” Tori says. “I had streptococcus pneumonia in my bloodstream. I was on my way to becoming septic.”
Knowing Tori before she was a mother and seeing her motherly instincts kick in has been so special. She’s just so strong.
Nick Foles
NFL quarterback
Tragically, the unexpected illness caused a miscarriage, and they lost the baby. But the early labor saved Tori’s life. “I wouldn’t have gone back to the hospital again if it weren’t for miscarrying,” Tori admits. “That baby was like an angel that saved me.”
“Life has gone on, but that child will always be part of our journey,” Nick adds.
Triumph over tragedy
Happily, the Foles went on to have another child, Duke, in June 2020. Tori says his arrival brought “restoration,” for sure.
“We know how much he’s meant to be here,” Tori says. “To have everything that happened, happen, he wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
For his part, Nick is inspired by Tori’s triumphs over tragedy and her ability to use that experience to excel as a mother.
“Breastfeeding, changing diapers — she’s exhausted all the time, and with POTS it’s tenfold,” he says. “She never complains. She just cares so much for these little beings.”
Tori recognizes their path has not been an easy one, but it has led to her being the mom she is today.
“If you start comparing your journey to others, then you can easily start to feel like you’re not good enough, or your kids don’t have a great mom. But I think it’s important to know that God has you on a path that’s special to me and my kids and their lives,” she says.
“We realize it’s hard along the way, and we’ve had tough moments and we’ll break down, but we ultimately know we’ll just put one foot in front of the other.
“We just figure it out as we go, which has been a theme for us.”
Our series “Celebrating Motherhood” shares inspiring stories, helpful advice, and insightful recommendations to help you choose the perfect gifts to help you express your love for moms of all types. In this article, we will explore 50 ways to say ‘mom’ in different languages.
There may be a million different ways to say her name, but there’s only one special mom your heart belongs to. So, this Mother’s Day or any day, show her how unique she is. Instead of calling her the usual “Ma” or “Mom,” impress her by saying mom in other languages, such as her native language!
Our series “Celebrating Motherhood” shares inspiring stories, helpful advice, and insightful recommendations for choosing the perfect gifts to express your love for moms of all types. In this article, we explore six of the greatest moms in history.
Moms are the unsung heroes of the world. They rise to accept a responsibility that takes hard work and dedication, often sailing under the radar. Chances are that you know plenty of amazing moms (and may even be one yourself) — but it’s important that we also tip our collective hat to mothers of the past.
But although the most impactful women in history get credit for being incredible leaders, history books usually fail to mention that they were also mothers. Why is that?
“I think it’s important to keep in mind that there wasn’t much of a choice about whether a woman was going to be a mother or not in earlier times,” says Mary Dillard, Ph.D., director of graduate studies in women’s history at Sarah Lawrence College.
It’s often hard to separate the image of a mother from just being a nurturer — that’s a powerful image.
Mary Dillard
Director of Graduate Studies in Women’s History
Sarah Lawrence College
“That, of course, does not mean these women didn’t want their children, just that the time was different,” Dillard says. “I think one of the largest reasons that important, historical women aren’t often recognized for both their historical accomplishments and their motherhood is that, in history, it’s not usually something that’s noted. Even with men, genealogy and parenthood aren’t discussed unless they’re pertinent to what happens after them — a political dynasty, for example.”
Further, Dillard believes these details about powerful women could sometimes be left out intentionally, to separate the image from strictly nurturing.
“It’s often hard to separate the image of a mother from just being a nurturer — that’s a powerful image,” she says. “To emphasize these aspects of these famous women could have the potential to undermine the focus of the things they did.”
Today, we want to look at these powerful & famous women in history to recognize their accomplishments with this in mind — they were mothers, too.
Inspiring historical figures who happened to have been moms
These women were leaders, influencers, and women who made differences so substantial they altered the course of history — and through it all, they were dedicated and determined mothers, to their own children and beyond.
Julia Ward Howe
Julia Ward Howe
A famous abolitionist, suffragist, writer, and beyond, Julia Ward Howe is perhaps best known as the co-founder of the American Woman Suffrage Association. Though her own mother died when she was just five in 1824, she had a strong, motherly influence in the form of her aunt who exposed her to languages, science, literature, and of course, poetry — something she became famous for. It’s purely speculation, but it’s said this impact from her aunt influenced her own take on motherhood for her six children.
One of the most notable things about Julia Ward Howe? She authored the Appeal to Womanhood Throughout the World — a pacifist reaction that would later become infamously known as the Mother’s Day Proclamation. In this proclamation, Julia appeals to all women to unite for peace in the world, furthering the initial vision of Mother’s Day in the U.S. for women to “rise up through the ashes and devastation” to stand with a message of peace, honor, and support for mother’s who’d lost sons and husbands in the wake of the Civil War.
Marie Curie
Marie Curie is best known for being the first woman to ever win a Nobel Prize in Physics and Chemistry — something that led to her other notable distinction as the first person to claim Nobel honors twice. A champion in the development of X-rays (due to her discovery of polonium and radium), she was a pioneer in the study of radiation.
Marie Curie at a physics conference
Though Marie is known as the mother of physics, she also played another enormously important role: a mother. Marie had a husband she loved dearly, but he died shortly after her second child was born — leaving her to raise the children on her own. Not only did she raise and guide her two daughters, but also took it upon herself to homeschool her children, passing along her brilliance. One of her daughters even followed in her footsteps, working alongside her mother and receiving military honors for her work. Marie died in 1934.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony
Considered to be one of the leading figures of the early women’s rights movement in the 19th century, Elizabeth Cady Stanton is best known for her dedicated efforts in writing the Declaration of Sentiments for the Seneca Falls Convention as well as organizing the women’s suffrage movement in the United States. Though the suffrage movement was one of her top priorities, Stanton was a dedicated mother to her seven children.
It’s said that it was her love for her children meshed with her frustration of being confined to the home (due to the time period) that motivated her to fight so hard against what she called the “absolute tyranny” men had held women in — she fought for women to own property, the right to vote, the right to divorce husbands without losing custody of children, to earn wages, and much more.
Stanton is one of the most prominent figures in the women’s rights movements as well as a devoted mother who wanted to fight for a world with a much more level playing field for her children and others.
Georgina Đuka Tesla
You’ve probably heard of the great inventor Nikola Tesla. He was on one side of a heated “alternating current war” with Thomas Edison in the 1880s over the technology and future of electricity. His legacy lives on, and today his name is blazoned on modern-day Tesla electric cars. But you probably don’t know that his mother, Georgina, was an inventor too.
She was the eldest of seven siblings, and though she was extremely intelligent, she never attended school. Nikola, who was close with his mother, called her a first-class inventor. Obviously, as a woman in the 1800s, her opportunities were limited, and Tesla believed she could have achieved more in different circumstances.
The family lived in a rural area in Serbia, and Georgina created devices to help the household run more smoothly — such as an egg beater. She was also an excellent weaver and could tie three knots on an eyelash even after reaching her 60s. Although Georgina couldn’t read, she memorized many Serbian folk poems.
NikolaTesla was by his mother’s side when she died on April 4, 1892, at the age of 71. He had been in Europe giving university lectures when he received a telegram saying she was sick, and he abandoned the tour to be with his mother. Her last words were, “You’ve made it, Nidža. You are here, my pride.”
Sojourner Truth
We all know Sojourner Truth (born Isabella Baumfree) as an abolitionist, women’s rights activist, and evangelist, but she deserves to be honored as a mother (and daughter to an amazing mom), too. In her autobiography, Truth speaks fondly of her own mother, “Mau-Mau Bett,” who had 12 children.
Even as Mau-Mau watched her children be sold into slavery and separated from her, she said, “[Those] are the same stars, and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers and sisters and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away from us and each other.”
Truth showed a deep dedication to her own children, too. When she escaped to freedom with her infant daughter in 1862, she had to leave four children behind. Truth later discovered that one of her children, Peter, had been illegally sold into slavery.
She confronted the enslavers, but they didn’t think she could afford to rescue Peter. As Truth says in her autobiography, though, “I have no money, but God has enough, or what’s better! And, I’ll have my child again!”
With the help of an abolitionist family, she successfully sued the enslavers who took her 5-year-old son. Truth was the first Black woman to sue a white man and win.
Edith Roosevelt
In 1901, Edith Roosevelt, mom to six children and wife to Theodore Roosevelt, became First Lady, and one of the largest First Families moved into the White House. Of course, the expectations for both motherhood and the role of First Lady were different back then — today a mother in the White House has to juggle the demands and duties of both occupations, all while under media scrutiny.
Even so, Edith Roosevelt made sure she protected the children from publicity, even as her husband attempted to get more press attention. She wanted to have more children, and she had at least one miscarriage as First Lady. “Because of her era, she was a wife first and foremost,” says historian Stacy A. Cordery. “Because of her class, she was not expected to do things that a nursemaid, cook, governess, or tutor would do for or with the children — like bathe, feed, and school them.”
What was unique about Edith and Theodore, however, was their involvement in their children’s lives at the time, particularly in light of Theodore’s duties as president. “In part, we see the Roosevelts as such ‘good’ parents because they did more with their children than most elite, white parents of the era, and in that way come closer to our modern definition of ‘good’ parents,” Cordery says.
One of the family’s most prominent pursuits was reading. “She and TR both read to the children because [Edith] was a passionate reader, and because TR was as well — they communicated that love to their children,” Cordery says.
Edith Roosevelt did not see herself as a role model for mothers as First Lady, though. “Edith intentionally destroyed much of her correspondence. She knew that TR’s life and world were going to go down in history, and she did not want history prying into her own writing,” says Sharon Kilzer, project manager of Dickinson State University’s Theodore Roosevelt Center.
That did not stop Theodore from praising his wife in a letter to a friend: “I do not think my eyes are blinded by affection when I say that she has combined to a degree I have never seen in any other woman the power of being the best of wives and mothers, the wisest manager of the household, and at the same time being the ideal great lady and mistress of the White House.”
Our series “Celebrating Motherhood” shares inspiring stories, helpful advice, and insightful recommendations to help you choose the perfect gifts to help you express your love for moms of all types.These Mother’s Day ideas will help mom celebrate the way she wants to, whether that’s sleeping, brunching, or spending time with her family.
Being a mom is a life-changing experience that comes with endless joy and fulfillment — but it also is a lot of work and carries with it a lot of responsibility. So when Mother’s Day rolls around, many moms want just one thing: to be relieved of their motherly duties.
Not to say gifts aren’t appreciated, but if you ask most moms how they’d like to spend the one day of the year that’s dedicated to them and only them, the most common answer you’ll hear is: “I just want some time to myself.”
We wanted to find out what specifically was on Mother’s Day wish lists, so we went straight to the source — 20 of them, to be exact. Here, 20 world-beating moms tell us what their ideal Mother’s Day consists of and what types of gifts they’d want to receive for this special day.
Spending time with family
I just love to be with my family. We are all over the country and world right now, and when we all get together, it is love, plain and simple. Hanging out all day, at home with all of us, is my best Mother’s Day.
– Kerri Rosenthal, founder and creative director, Kerri Rosenthal
My wife and I were at a stalemate for Mother’s Day since we are a two-mom family. To give ourselves what we need — some quiet time away from our energetic 3-year-old — we are planning a day of fun for our toddler and his nana. We have a scavenger hunt, relaxation, and dinner planned for them so we can enjoy a few hours of nothing. My wife’s mother gets time with her grandson, and we get a break from hearing “mom/mommy/mama” every two minutes. It’s a win for everyone.
I want a mix of spending time with my family and on my own on Mother’s Day. I like to start the day with a 5K run to get my alone time and then spend the day with my family doing brunch or going on a day trip, like to the zoo. I find that balance is the perfect way to celebrate.
We are planning a day of fun for our toddler and his nana. My wife’s mother gets time with her grandson, and we get a break from hearing ‘mom/mommy/mama’ every two minutes. It’s a win for everyone.
Corritta Lewis
Content creator, It’s a Family Thing
This is my first Mother’s Day, and I am so excited to be taking my son to his first baseball game. It’s a tradition that my mom, sister, and I started when I was in college and continued through moving cross country and growing families. Now we get to include our children, and my mom gets to spend time with her children and grandchildren.
– Megan Hildebrand, independent promoter with Pruvit
Experiencing an adventure
I love the outdoor life, and I can’t think of a better way to spend any day, let alone Mother’s Day, than being woken up by my kids with a plate of bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast, and a mug of steaming hot black coffee while relaxing in my big ol’ RV. Then I want to kick back and do as little as possible for the rest of the day, preferably in the company of a good book. That’s my idea of heaven.
The beach is our happy place. My ideal Mother’s Day would be to wake early, four-wheel it out to the beach, watch the sunrise with a cup of coffee, and snuggle up with my hubby and the kids. After that, we would head back for a homemade breakfast.
My ideal Mother’s Day would start by drinking warm tea (doesn’t have to be hot because, being a mom, sometimes it’s easy to forget you’ve made it!) on the beach while reading a book as my husband and kids collect oysters and mussels.
I love to spend my Mother’s Day doing a fun adventure as a family. We usually go somewhere we don’t go very often, such as an aquarium or children’s museum. It’s fun to watch the kids’ faces light up with excitement as we spend our special day together.
– Elizabeth Manly, former teacher and mother of two
Some personal pampering
Coffee in bed, followed by breakfast made for me consisting of a croissant,cheese, and berries, and accompanied by gorgeous fresh flowers!
I want morning cuddles and breakfast in bed with my family, followed by some alone time for a facial or massage. Motherhood is beautiful but hard, and making time for myself is so important!
Every Mother’s Day, I have the same request: not making any food from morning ’til night. Although I love to cook and curate delicious recipes, it is a great feeling not to have to pick up one knife or wash one vegetable for one day. My kids and partner usually do all the cooking and make me breakfast in bed, and then later treat me to takeout or make reservations at a good restaurant. It has been like this for some time now, and I never want this tradition to end!
– Laura Ritterman, chef and recipe blogger at Recipe Fairy
When my boys were young, I always told my husband that all I wanted for Mother’s Day was for him to take the boys somewhere for a few hours so I could just be in the house alone. The quiet and stillness of a few hours was the best gift he could give me during that season of life.
– Marsha Fisher, senior manager of corporate communications, Workplace Options
As someone who is anti-diet and an intuitive eater, I am happy with a Mother’s Day brunch, enjoyed without guilt, one where I will be mentally present with my mom and my son and not worried about the food around me and my weight.
Every Mother’s Day, I have the same request: not making any food from morning ’til night. Although I love to cook and curate delicious recipes, it is a great feeling not to have to pick up one knife or wash one vegetable for one day.
Laura Ritterman
Chef and recipe blogger at Recipe Fairy
One of my favorite Mother’s Day activities is watching a movie because it means that I get to choose the title and the family can’t complain about it!
This year I’d like to spend Mother’s Day alone. I typically always spend it with my kids, but we’ve all spent a lot of time together with the pandemic, and I’m ready for some alone time. My dream day would include: a mani/pedi, trip to the beach, writing my book in a hotel room, cozying up in a robe and watching movies, and finishing the day with room service and a bath.
– Angela Marie Christian, writer, personal development and business coach, and mindfulness teacher
I would love to get a keratin treatment. I am always so busy catering to my kids that I forget about self-care. I have been delaying hair care for a long time, so this Mother’s Day will be a self-care day.
Ever since I hit my mid-30s, my mind keeps wanting to invest in a foot massager. Walking around all day with my children can be a taxing way to spend the day. A foot massager would help get rid of painful pangs in my feet.
– Eduarda dePaula, entrepreneur and CEO, FindByPlate
Every year, my husband and son, Billy, have a photo book made with a collection of the best photos of Billy and me from the past year. They choose funny and endearing captions for many of the photos. I do the same thing for my husband on Father’s Day. It’s a wonderful family tradition.
– Dr. Chloe Carmichael, clinical psychologist and author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power tribute to Your Anxiety
I want to create piece of a family artwork. I have never been good at painting, but seeing my children make handmade cards for me on Mother’s Day has been a source of pure joy for me. I want to recreate that memory by painting a big canvas with my family. Creating artwork together will be a great way to connect with my children and learn about their evolving personalities.
In recent years, as a Mother’s Day gift, I’ve asked my family to join me in a family photo session with a hired photographer. As mothers, we tend to be behind the camera, so having pictures with our kids and family can be a rarity. Capturing our family in each season of life through the years is something I will cherish forever and really has been the sweetest gift.
The series “MVP Moms” explore the critical role moms play at the heart of families — and how they run the world. In this article, Rachel Ashwell dives into her experiences as a mother and how she hopes to celebrate Mother’s Day this year with advice on relationships and décor.
Rachel Ashwell with her daughter, Lily, and her son, Jake.
When Rachel Ashwell opened her Shabby Chic® store on Montana Avenue in Los Angeles 33 years ago, her daughter was 2, and her son was just a few weeks old. She didn’t know at the time what a mega-empire she would go on to build, or how the very idea of Shabby Chic® — an aesthetic she created that involves soft, floral upholstery fabrics, weather-worn furniture, and vintage pieces — would become not only a part of the design lexicon but of our culture.
She also wasn’t thinking about how being a divorced working mom would affect her ability to raise her children. She just wanted to open a little shop that would allow her to arrange her own schedule so she could be with her kids.
Her children are adults now — she also has a stepdaughter with whom she’s close — and her business is mature, with her original store moving up the California coast to Summerland, near Montecito. Mother’s Day can be an unexpected holiday for Ashwell since she and her kids are often scattered around the globe. “Someone’s always 6,000 miles away,” she says.
Her own mother, when she was alive, lived in England while Ashwell was in California. Today, she still gets to celebrate twice because Mother’s Day falls on a different day in the UK than in the U.S. Her son recently called to wish her a happy Mother’s Day, taking her by surprise. It was, unbeknownst to Ashwell, Mother’s Day across the pond.
We spoke with Ashwell about how she balanced raising a family while running a business, what advice she would give herself as a young mom, and how she celebrates Mother’s Day now. She also tossed in some advice for all moms on this special day.
How was it being a single working mom while building an empire?
Of course, there are things I know now I wish I knew then. But, at that time, I had my formula of how to balance everything. I wanted to be as present as possible, with my work and with my “mommy hat” on. It was very important for me to drop my kids at school and pick them up; between those hours, I compartmentalized how to get things done for work. I don’t recall being overwhelmed or stressed out — I just recall being very organized.
Do you have any advice you would give yourself as a young mom?
My children grew up seeing me work really hard. Maybe I wish I had more “fun” time. I was like, “I’ll do that then,” and a lifetime has gone by. It’s a double-edged sword because the bulk of what I do is my creative escape, and it’s lovely. But I would say — speaking to myself — do make sure to find time to do nothing. Doing nothing has its own value.
Do you have advice for other moms or for anyone balancing a creative business with life?
Check back in with yourself, especially when you have the good fortune of a lot of success. Is your life in alignment with your dream? Not the outside dream of what looks good on paper but the inside dream. Don’t put a square peg in a round hole.
For me, I had the opportunity to open 50 stores with investors, and I went along with that, enthusiastically. But, in actuality, I’m a flea market girl. It’s better for me to have Shabby Chic® in unique places on great funky streets, in Malibu, in Soho, in artisan places. So, make sure to choose your paths and opportunities in alignment with who you are.
What was the best part about your relationship with your mom?
Her gentleness and being non-judgmental about anyone or anything, even when I was 15 and I said I was leaving school. I always felt safe to share things with her. She was also ahead of her time. She exposed me to color therapy, reiki, and meditation, all in the ’80s. My parents were flea market people; I would learn at flea markets with them. That was lovely. There’s just something very simple about my mom I really treasure.
How can all we find meaning in Mother’s Day, whether we have a mother or children, or not?
It’s important not to stay in the literal classification of what a mother is. Take care of all mamas, and there are a million different ways to do that. Unless you are a complete hermit, chances are there’s an older female person you look to for their motherly qualities — see them or reach out to them. Maybe there are other children you’ve taken on a motherly role for; just kind of acknowledge it. Put a little spotlight on those relationships. I don’t underestimate the value of being a mother to pets either!
The more time we can just learn who our mothers were and are is of fantastic value. Anyone who’s got a mother out there, find a way to really find out who this wonderful person is who brought you into this world.
Rachel Ashwell
How do you celebrate Mother’s Day now?
It’s been years since my kids and I have lived in the same place, so I tend to value every second I have with them. My daughter is very good at self-care, she’ll say, “Let’s have a mani-pedi or massage that’s all about you.” And then, of course, she comes along for the ride. We tend to go for very nurturing activities I always really enjoy.
With my son, we communicate differently. He knows I love nothing more than just sitting and talking. That’s a gift unto itself. Plus, he always sends me an orchid. He knows I’m so picky about flowers, he can’t go really wrong with an orchid.
What do you do special for a Mother’s Day tablescape?
I pull out some of my little trinkets, delicate details of things I have in my world — that’s how I enhance my table. Beautiful flowers are always my anchors, and then beautiful china and beautiful napkins. If a mom is there, so is a wrapped gift. I have lots of leftover beautiful wrapping paper. I keep paper from gifts I receive and reuse it, or I use pieces of vintage wallpaper; there are lots of wonderful sources of vintage paper online. I also have a big box of fabulous vintage ribbons and another box of vintage velvet and silk flowers. It’s not like I buy horrible gifts for people, but often my gift wrapping supersedes the gift.
What gift ideas do you have for Mother’s Day? I’m sure flowers is on your list.
The whole world of flowers is a metaphor for all kinds of relationships. It reminds us whatever the season is there’s a rhythm to relationships. Flowers are beautiful, of course, but sending them on an occasion just feels like the right thing to do. Also, a lovely gift is a plant to plant in a garden, something to be nurtured and grow.
Mothers often put themselves last on their list of who to take care of, so a nurturing, self-indulgent gift, like a luxurious soap, a beautiful candle, or a really yummy throw, is a good idea. Mother’s Day is more about indulgence, not practicality. It’s nice to indulge your mother, and it’s really lovely to be indulged.
What advice would you give to someone who has a mom on Mother’s Day?
It’s a tremendously valuable relationship. The more time we can just learn who our mothers were and are is of fantastic value. Anyone who’s got a mother out there, find a way to really find out who this wonderful person is who brought you into this world.
Our series “Motherhood Hacks” shares inspiring stories about expressing love, improving connections, and psychological changes related to motherhood. In this story, we explore the psychological changes of motherhood and the implications of mommy brain.
Until recently, Max Cutler never played songs to her belly. Now that she’s six months pregnant, she does so every night because she wants her son to sleep peacefully along with her. She is constantly aware that everything she does now, she’s doing for two. “I get really excited every time he moves, and I’m feeling him all day, so I’m taking better care of myself than ever because I’m supporting another life. I eat better meals, I make it to my medical appointments, and if I get upset, I immediately try to stop being upset because I think about how it would affect the baby.”
This is why mothers deserve to be celebrated every day with gifts, respect, and fanfare: from the moment they begin carrying a child, they are changed utterly, from whatever they were to life-giver and caregiver. There is no greater undertaking and no more intimate and lasting union between two people. Not surprisingly, as part of its grand plan, nature transforms mothers’ bodies, emotions, and neural circuitry to make them successful moms.
They need all the help they can get because motherhood is a monumental transition – “awesome in the truest sense of the word,” says Columbia University medical psychologist Catherine Monk. “It usually comes with a lot of anticipation, but we have to acknowledge other feelings as well.” There’s going to be a loss of some personal freedoms and a new weight of responsibility. “Our brain changes with all the big changes in our lives, and this is one of the biggest.”
The bond begins
The connections between mother and child and the development of the maternal brain begin almost immediately in pregnancy. In 2017, Elseline Hoekzema, a neuroscientist at Leiden University in the Netherlands, and colleagues published a study in Nature Neuroscience showing that pregnancy triggered massive biological adaptations in mothers, leading to significant changes in their brain structure. Most notably, pregnant mothers experienced reductions in the gray matter in various regions of the brain. While these reductions may sound scary, they appeared to be an adaptive process that removes distractions, allowing the mother to focus better on her baby.
Nature wants babies to survive, so we’re making fewer neurons and synapses where we don’t need them and more where we do.
Jodi Pawluski
Neuroscientist
University of Rennes
“We found that these changes most strongly affect social brain regions, and they predict measures of mother-infant bonding,” Elseline says. “We hypothesize that these relate to changes in a mother’s social cognition or empathy.”
Others have extended these finds. Neuroscientist Jodi Pawluski at the University of Rennes in France has found that pregnancy through the postpartum period right after birth is a time of unparalleled “plasticity” in the brain. That’s when all sorts of neural connections are being made and modified, connections that mainly enhance parenting. She likes to think of this as a “fine-tuning” of the brain to make it more efficient for what it needs to do, which is to learn maternal behavior and interact with the offspring. “Nature wants babies to survive, so we’re making fewer neurons and synapses where we don’t need them and more where we do.”
The scent of love
Another major way nature alters mothers’ brains is by essentially making babies addictive. Ever smell a baby’s head? There’s no more euphoric aroma. There’s a reason for that: Nature wants mothers completely hooked on their babies, so that the travails and exhaustion of giving birth and caring for children will feel well worth it. And smell isn’t the only sense involved. From the moment a baby is born, moms are constituted to want to touch, kiss, and hold their offspring and keep staring enraptured at her angelic face.
“It’s nature’s reward system,” says Jodi. “With birth, different areas of our brain work together to regulate maternal behavior, producing a surge of dopamine and other chemicals like serotonin, norepinephrine, and prolactin that interact.” Those hormones give us reward and pleasure, producing ecstatic feelings that motivate us to go through all this for our babies and help us cope with the stress. At the same time, the chemical oxytocin surges to promote bonding. “You’re meant to see your baby as the cutest ever, even if other people think it looks like an alien,” Jodi says.
The benefits of mommy brain
The seismic shifting of mental resources is a phenomenon we somewhat disparagingly call “mommy brain.” It refers to the memory loss new mothers may experience in everyday activities (forgetting that eggs are boiling so long that they explode, putting the car keys in the refrigerator) because they are so thoroughly fixated on their babies.
“The research shows minor deficits in working memory and verbal memory, and it can be cumbersome and interfering, but it’s nothing that would make you incapable of functioning,” says Jodi. She believes that mommy brain partly results from sheer exhaustion and mental overload, but it’s also part of nature’s pruning of the brain that enables mothers to focus more fully on their babies.
Jodi remembers her own mommy brain experience shortly after giving birth. “I’d been doing research in this field for some time, so I was aware this could happen, but I was walking along this beautiful stretch of river with my husband, talking about something or other, and suddenly I couldn’t find the word for what I wanted to say. This was just the first of many times that it happened, but oh my gosh, the word was totally gone. I couldn’t finish my sentence. I kept noticing verbal deficits like this. And now I’m seven years postpartum, and I still lose or mix up words from time to time.”
While this phenomenon unsettled her the first time, she came to understand where it comes from. “New mothers have to remember 100,000 things. If you give anyone a million tasks to do, and they’re sleep-deprived, and they have a child that’s unpredictably crying, it’s not realistic to remember everything on the list.” And based on the research, she adds, the information vital for the baby stays in their brains.
Jodi cites Katherine Allison’s book The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter. “I like her ideas,” she says. “We should stop focusing on these tiny little memory lapses and come to appreciate how much we have to keep in our heads as moms.” As just one example, she points to the improved visual memory that mothers have, especially memory for faces. “You need to remember that face to protect your child because it may or may not be dangerous,” she says. This is just one of many protective alert systems bolstered by changes to the maternal brain.
Hooked for life
If you’re a new mom and start longing for the days when you could focus just on the fun you were going to have that night, forget it. Most of these changes in your psychology and brain, caused both by nature and by your relationship with your child, are relatively permanent, as is the life you’re now responsible for, and your vision will remain resolutely focused on the urgencies of today and just as powerfully on the prospects of the future. Max says that while she still worries about little everyday things, she’s more focused than ever on the important things to come. “We talk about having a house, and I’m thinking about schools and playgrounds,” she says. “I think about the money we’ll need, where we’ll move, the life we want to have. My sister-in-law just had a baby, and I think about how they’re going to be cousins, and how nice it will be for them growing up together.”
Rest assured, the bonds between you and your child aren’t likely to evaporate. “Humans have one of the longest periods in the animal world when our young remain dependent on us, so these are intense, intense bonds, some of the deepest we ever have, says Catherine. “As children get older, there is necessarily some independence and separation, so the bond takes different forms at different times. But typically, it really just keeps deepening throughout our lives.”
Mother’s Day comes just once a year, making it that much more crucial that you plan a day that’s absolutely perfect. Surveys show that the majority of moms want to spend their special day with their children and other family members. In addition to flowers and other gifts, giving the gift of your time by planning an activity with the woman who brought you into the world is a terrifically thoughtful idea.
But such Mother’s Day activities are often easier said than done. Although Mom would love it if her children lived next door, sometimes the family is spread across the country, or even the globe, and meets only for holidays and special occasions. Even if you’re not physically close, you can still plan a wonderful celebration for Mom on Mother’s Day.
Here are some activities and creative ideas to celebrate Mother’s Day this year — whether you’re 10 miles away or 10,000.
Plan ahead for the perfect Mother’s Day
When you were growing up, Mom spent countless hours planning your days. Now, it’s time for you to return the favor. With a few simple phone calls, you can set up a relaxing and fun adventure for Mom.
Step 1: Arrange the activities
The day’s itinerary can include a trip to the movies, a massage at the local spa, or a shopping excursion (your treat) at her favorite department store. Cater the day to your mom’s interests so she can unwind and enjoy.
Step 2: Reserve a restaurant
Every adventure needs a lunch break to refuel, so make reservations at Mom’s favorite restaurant. If Dad can join, great; if not, ask your mom to set aside a few minutes for a video chat with you while she dines.
Step 3: Hire transportation
If you’re doing this long distance, enlist the help of a neighbor or hire a professional transportation service to drive Mom around for the day. Provide them with a full itinerary of activities so all Mom needs to do is hop in and enjoy the excitement-packed day you have planned for her.
Mother’s Day activity idea: Meals and drinks
Celebrate Mom with a tasty meal or potent potable. Here are some ideas.
Mother’s Day brunch
Brunch on Mother’s Day is a must. From cheesy omelets and crispy bacon to buttery pancakes and blueberry waffles, there are so many delicious Mother’s Day recipes to enjoy. More importantly, there are stories to be told and laughs to be shared.
If you’re far away, there’s no need to skip the meal. Just make arrangements via a video conferencing platform, such as Zoom or Google Hangouts. If Mom isn’t tech savvy, call her before brunch and walk her through setting up her account and connecting to the room.
To make Mom’s day as simple as possible for her, consider ordering her a gift basket packed with brunch ingredients. It can really make her day so much brighter.
Mother’s Day cocktail hour
Setting up happy hour in honor of Mom can be lots of fun. From mimosas to bloody marys, swap cocktail recipes and enjoy drinks together, together or virtually. We’ve listed two popular Mother’s Day drink recipes for you below, so get popping! If you or Mom doesn’t have these ingredients at home, consider sending a wine gift basket with delicious treats.
Mimosa
Fill champagne flute halfway with chilled sparkling wine.
Top with orange juice.
Enjoy!
Bloody mary
Salt the rim of a tall glass.
Fill glass with ice cubes.
In a cocktail mixer filled with ice, combine vodka, vegetable juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot pepper sauce, salt, and pepper.
Shake and strain into glass.
Garnish with a stalk of celery and olives on a toothpick.
Set up a dessert date
You may not be able to whisk Mom away to her favorite brunch spot for a Mother’s Day meal, but you can still have a wonderful sweet treat together even if she’s far away. Set up a time when you will both be available and video chat each other so you can eat “together.” To take the dining experience to the next level, surprise her with a dessert-ready mother’s day gift basket filled with her favorite treats so she can simply open and indulge.
3 other ideas to celebrate Mother’s Day
1. Relive memories
Gather old photos and create a scrapbook of memories for Mom to relive. This gift idea can be both virtual and physical: Create a physical scrapbook to arrive at Mom’s doorstep and a virtual slideshow for Mom to show off on social media.
2. Send a Mother’s Day eCard
If you can’t be with Mom on Mother’s Day, smother her with love on all fronts —Mother’s Day flowers delivered to her doorstep, a loving happy Mother’s Day phone call, and a sweet eCard that perfectly fits Mom’s personality.
3. Surprise her with a month-full of love
Make it a month-long celebration with a gift that keeps on giving, such as a Kind Notes® for Mom gift. This unique jar is filled with 31 days worth of sweet messages so she can start her days off with a heartwarming message from her dearest child (that’s you!).
14 Mother’s Day activities
These 14 Mother’s Day activities will make her day oh so memorable.
Although the idea is to bring Mom breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day morning, we bet she’d love to have you join her. So, after you’ve whipped up her favorite meal and delivered it to her bedside, make a plate for yourself and enjoy the food together!
2. Go to the spa
Every mom could use a little R&R, so treat her to a spa day. Just be sure to make an appointment in advance to guarantee yourself a spot — you’re not the only one who thought of this idea for Mother’s Day! If you’d rather do a spa day in, give her a spa gift basket that she can use to pamper herself.
Spring is the perfect time to start shaping up the garden. Go buy some of Mom’s favorite bulbs, and then lend a helping hand and start planting!
6. Take a day trip
You’d be surprised at how many amazing places there are to visit and see in your area. Research a local attraction that neither of you has been to and go!
7. Have a picnic
Weather permitting, head to your local park and treat Mom to a picnic lunch. Pack her favorite on-the-go-type meals and snacks for her to nosh on — she’ll love it!
8. Watch home movies
You and Mom have made a ton of memories together over the years, so settle in on the couch and relive some of your best and favorite ones. And don’t forget the popcorn.
9. Go for a hike
Spend some time outdoors and take Mom on a hike on one of your favorite trails. Physical activity is so important, and by hiking together, you can make exercising that much more enjoyable.
10. Bake
Have a dessert recipe that’s been in your family for years? Pull it out of your recipe box and work with Mom to bake a treat that will have both your mouths watering!
11. Go shopping
Moms are often the ones treating their children to a shopping spree, so reverse roles on Mother’s Day and treat her to one. With summer just around the corner, now is the perfect time to seek out her must-have outfits.
12. Volunteer
Find a local charity or organization that could use a helping hand and donate your time. Not only will you be giving back to your community and helping others, but this is also the perfect opportunity to strengthen the bond between you and Mom.
13. Take a class
Is there something Mom has always wanted to learn or sharpen her skills at? If so, see if you can find a class near you, or online, that you can participate in together. Some examples include a painting or cooking class.
14. Play games
Bring everyone together for game night featuring all Mom’s favorite games. And have we mentioned yet how integral snacks are to enhancing the fun?
