1800Flowers Petal Talk

Carly Cushnie and her husband, Oscar Cantu, like to celebrate life. Just check out their hashtag #teamoscarly on Instagram, where’ll you see pics of their colorful, Oaxacan-style wedding in Mexico City, complete with a procession of mojigangas, or huge puppets, dancing in the street, and flowering trees on the reception tables.

They bring that festive energy to their home in Brooklyn, too. There, they throw parties with their daughters, Santiago, 4, and Quincy, 3, that involve cooking, decorating, and dancing in the living room under a disco ball. Oh, and amazing tablescapes at their dinners.

In a past life, Cushnie founded and owned her eponymous fashion line (originally called Cushnie et Ochs). It was a hit with stars like Jessica Alba — the first big celebrity to wear it — Rhianna, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, and Ashley Graham. Her styles even found their way to the White House, becoming a favorite of the first lady at the time.

These days, Carly’s life is a bit more subdued but no less fulfilling. Here’s how she and Oscar like to roll.

Do you entertain a lot?

We used to throw big parties in the past, but COVID curbed that. But we have dinners here, and drinks parties. And birthdays.

Do you usually have a theme?

We went to Vietnam for our honeymoon and brought back all these Vietnamese lanterns. So, for one party, we lit the garden with them and did a kind of Vietnamese barbecue, and decorated as such. That was a theme, but it’s not always around a theme — usually we base it around food. There’s something my husband wants to cook, and then we decorate around that.

What about celebrating birthdays?

We normally do a family thing all together, dinner and cake and a little dance party at home. I recently had a big birthday, my 40^th, so I celebrated a lot. We had a party with the girls, then an adults-only party. We moved out all the furniture, and I decorated the house with flowers, a disco ball, lights, and LED balloon thingies that created a bit of sparkle. We kept it simple — no theme, just an old-school house party.

Do you go all out for your daughters’ birthdays?

When they turned 3 and 4, it was the biggest party they ever had. They’re a year and a week apart, March 31 and April 8, so we have a party for them together. The weather was kind of iffy, so we moved the furniture and put a little bouncy house inside. It was kind of perfect, actually, a mish-mosh with a beautiful pink princess bouncy house, “Frozen” birthday cake, Mexican food, and drinks for the parents. And we had a piñata outside.

What’s your feeling about birthday gifts?

We give the kids birthday gifts, but my husband and I don’t do gifts. Instead, we do things for each other. We’ll take a trip or have a beautiful meal, or go to a restaurant, or he’ll cook something super, super special. It’s just about being together.

Do your kids help with the cooking or entertaining?

We try to get them into food as much as we are; it’s something we love. So, for certain parties, we cook and they help make things. For Thanksgiving, I did the décor and desserts, my husband did most of the main dishes with friends, and the kids were all helping prep or roll the dough and cook. They came to the farmers market with me, laid out the table with things from there. We built a tablescape. They’re part of it.

Tell us about your tablescapes.

I do like to play with a table. I love to have fruits and vegetables or beautiful branches; I prefer low things so you can see and talk to everyone. I like to be inspired. Even shopping online for flowers, I like to see what’s new in and of the season.

In springtime, I love to have blossoms. It’s such a happy feeling — it brings joy. My girls just absolutely adore it.

How do you celebrate Mother’s Day?

I like trees and plants. One Mother’s Day, my husband gave me a big tree; it’s in my living room. For some mothers, it’s all about being by themselves — which I totally get — but I just want to be with my kids all day. Oscar will cook with them and make me something like a nice brunch. Or we’ll go to a restaurant if no one’s having a meltdown…it’s touch and go.

What do you and Oscar do to keep the romance going?

For me, it’s more that he goes out of the way to cook something really special or something he’s never made before. Just the other day, I was actually mad at him, so he made me a dukkah; it’s a Mediterranean dish with toasted nuts and different spices and things. He said, “Am I forgiven?” I was like, “Yes. Thank you for my dukkah.”

Jordan Ferney turned her love of celebration into a career and a happy home for her family. As a successful event planner and self-described “creative entrepreneur,” she transformed DIY blogging into the businesses Oh Happy Day and Color Factory, an online party resource and interactive art experience, respectively. Her colorful craft spreads joy whether she’s writing for Domino or planning an ice cream adventure for her three kids: Moses, 16; Roman, 14; and Simone, 7.

She applies her arts and crafts approach to their life too. She restored a greenhouse in the backyard of their weekend home in upstate New York, which she calls “a kind of alter ego.” While there, she likes to cook, garden, and slow down, creating meaningful experiences for her family and friends. “It’s more about enjoying nature up there,” she says. “There are no TVs around; everyone unplugs. We open all the doors and have access to all this pretty wildness.”

Ferney makes moments special — magical, actually — without spending a ton of time or money. “Think about the end feeling and work backward,” she says. For this businesswoman, wife, and mother, it works. Try it.

SEE: Jordan’s Mother’s Day Picks

Where does your creativity come from?

I come from a family of eight kids; my parents are schoolteachers. We didn’t have a lot of money, but both my parents just knew how to create drama and experiences. That’s the environment I was brought up in — it has to be magical and perfect. I want to give that to my children.

Is there an experience you remember as a kid where your parents made something special?

One Christmas morning, my parents gave us a box filled with letters, and we had to figure out what they spelled. Finally, we put it together: “Disneyland!” They were like, “Go pack, we’re leaving in three hours.” It was mayhem! We all went crazy, crying and packing. That’s what I remember. It didn’t cost more to present it like that.

I always love thinking about that. We packed in three hours and went to Disneyland, but it’s the visceral, dramatic moment I remember most.

Can people still do that now, make magic for their kids?

Absolutely. Make it magical. Our kids’ birthdays is their “yes day.” They look forward to it all year. They get to pick what they want, and we try to say “yes” to everything, whether it’s ice cream or a Broadway show. If they want ice cream, we build a giant ice cream sundae.

The book “The Power of Moments” talks all about creating the dramatic moment. People will spend money on an expensive trip, but that memory blends in. Instead, it’s the dramatic things that sear into your brain. Create a ceremony to make it memorable.

How does creating magic every day change life?

It’s being thoughtful about the meaning and being deliberate. It’s really about them, thinking about what you want them to feel, thinking of the end result and working backward. My son’s birthday is in two days, so I’m thinking, “What’s going to make him feel loved? What can I do to remind the people in his life to reach out?” I might collect a quick video from everyone for his phone. I want to make him feel seen and appreciated.

So, is the reveal more important than the gift?

Yeah, FOR SURE. The thing that gets seared in the brain is the drama, the presentation. Like, we make our kids wait till they’re 13 to get phones. So, for my oldest son, we got him an iPhone, but we made a printout on a box that said “Mom Caller” with a picture of Elmo on the front. He was like, “OK,” then he opened it, and it was an iPhone. He still talks about that moment. It’s usually not about the gift — it’s about being playful.

What’s your feeling about birthday gifts?

I really like thoughtful presents. The great thing about having a big family is I have all these nephews and nieces in their early 20s who are so cool, and my kids look up to them like gods. So, I got my 16-year-old a record player and asked all my nieces and nephews to choose records, like their perfect album, and add a Post-It note for when to listen to it. Like for The Smiths, the note says, “Listen when you get broken up with.” It’s soooo cute. That’s an example of something that doesn’t cost more than the actual present but has meaning.

What about reciprocation? Do your kids do anything for you?

It’s SO important to me to make sure I’m raising partners and community members who don’t just rely on me to do it all. Look, I happily do all this work; I want to make it magical. You don’t have to spend a ton of money or all day, but you do have to do something and make sure it’s thoughtful.

Do your kids do something for you on Mother’s Day?

Last year my husband, Paul, was out of town for a conference, so they totally did it by themselves. They made “toy soldiers” with a soft (boiled) egg; it’s a common staple at our house. They did a really good job. I try to emphasize that it’s not about money spent — it’s about making the person feel loved and appreciated and seen.

How do your kids feel about the way you celebrate them and everything else?

It’s our family culture, so they’re into it. I would never force them to do anything — other than their homework, eat a vegetable once a while, and clean their rooms. I’ve realized if you create a really exciting, fun family culture, everyone is first in line — they’re in.

What’s the value in life of making something special?

It’s just more fun. You could do it the boring way or the fun way. It has meaning, and people remember it.