Category: Rituals and Traditions

History of Mother’s Day: Celebrating Moms from Ancient Times to Present

From poems and songs to paintings and novels, the gift of a mother’s love has been celebrated by men and women for thousands of years. One of the most important and long-lasting festivities to celebrate Mom is, of course, Mother’s Day, a holiday recognized in many countries around the world to honor and appreciate mothers and mother figures of all types for their love, care, and sacrifice.

In ancient times, just as today, gifts of tributes or cards and flowers — along with time spent with that nurturing, mothering figure — have long been the mainstay of these joyous occasions. Here’s a look at the history of Mother’s Day and how it has evolved over the years, as well as a reminder of just how essential this day dedicated to moms everywhere really is.

Mother’s Day is a way to recognize and honor the nourishing and nurturing part of motherhood, while also now recognizing that mothers, and the act of mothering, can take all different shapes and forms.

Diana Madoshi, board member for the Western Association of Women Historians

Earliest forms of Mother’s Day

The tradition of celebrating mom precedes the creation of the modern Mother’s Day, dating far back into recorded times. Most historians believe that civilization’s earliest celebrations of motherhood occurred in ancient Greece during a festival honoring the “mother of the gods,” Rhea, who was considered a symbol of female fertility, motherhood, and the passing of one generation to another.

This jubilant festival was typically held in the spring, in the month of March or April, and involved parades, large party-like gatherings, and bountiful feasts. Men and women would also bring offerings, including flowers and fruits, that they would dedicate to Rhea as they prayed for her blessings.

Greece wasn’t alone in its early appreciation of “Mom.” Other early cultures also enjoyed similar celebrations of motherhood, including the ancient Romans, Egyptians, Chinese, and Indians. In each of these populations, members of the public gathered in large groups to honor their respective mother figures: Roman goddess Cybele, queen of the pharaohs Isis, Chinese “mother of all mankind” Nuwa, and Indian mother figure Durga. The festivals often included formal processions, masks and costumes, dancing and singing, prayer, immense communal meals, and the offerings of countless gifts and flowers for each of these beloved women.

The History of Mother's Day

A U.K. holiday is born

The first more modern celebration of Mother’s Day started as an event now known as Mothering Sunday, an annual holiday in the United Kingdom that can be traced back to the 16th century.

According to Dr. Paula Gooder, canon chancellor of London’s St. Paul’s Cathedral, “The history of Mothering Sunday is that on the fourth Sunday of Lent, a day also known as ‘Laetare Sunday’ when fasting was suspended and refreshment taken, people would return to their ‘mother churches’ — the place where they were baptized — for worship. Because this would often be in or near their home parish, they would then go home to visit their mother,” she says.

“In the U.K., we now call the day ‘Mothering Sunday’ and remember all those who have ‘mothered’ us through our lives, including the church,” Gooder told us. “This changes the day from being focused solely on our own mothers and instead focuses our appreciation on the experience of being cherished and nurtured by whoever performed that act. This is an important shift as it reminds us to be thankful for all those kinds of ‘mothering’ experiences.”

Mother’s Day in America takes shape

According to Molly Murphy MacGregor, executive director and cofounder of the National Women’s History Alliance, the earliest American Mother’s Day celebration occurred in 1872, when Boston poet, pacifist, and women’s suffragist Julia Ward Howe set out to establish a special day for mothers — and dedicated to world peace — following Europe’s bloody Franco-Prussian War, which led to more than 180,000 deaths.

Howe’s efforts gained popularity for several years, in and around Boston in particular. But, over time, the movement she inspired gradually lost steam, and an organized effort to celebrate moms in the U.S. disappeared for more than a decade.

mothers day history philadelphia

That all changed at the turn of the century, however, when West Virginia activist and early community service advocate Anna Jarvis began campaigning for a special day to honor American mothers. Unlike Howe’s efforts to connect the celebration to world peace, Jarvis took a different tack: She drew inspiration for the creation of a national holiday honoring mothers from the death of her own mom, Ann Reeves Jarvis, in 1905.

Deeply impacted by the loss of Ann — who was known as “Mother Jarvis” and had campaigned tirelessly for better sanitation and health conditions throughout the South — Anna Jarvis set out to create a day to honor mothers everywhere. She started writing letters to community leaders, politicians, and other local officials, urging their support for the creation of a federally recognized Mother’s Day celebration.

And her efforts paid off. In 1908, the first official Mother’s Day celebration took place at a Methodist church in Grafton, West Virginia. Thousands attended, paying tribute to their mothers through speeches as well as countless gifts and dedications, including flowers and handmade cards.

Following the success of that initial local Mother’s Day celebration, Jarvis began pushing to make the occasion even bigger. She again gave countless speeches and interviews on the subject, wrote letters to newspapers and magazines, and lobbied politicians for their support of the creation of a national holiday. And, once again, she was successful: President Woodrow Wilson officially signed a proclamation in 1914 recognizing Mother’s Day as a national holiday that was to be celebrated on the second Sunday in May — a date that holds true to this day.

Flowers for mom

From ancient celebrations honoring different goddesses to the U.K.’s Mothering Sunday to the modern Mother’s Day holiday in the U.S,, one tradition holds true across the board: the gift of flowers.

history of mothers day with mothers day flowers and black and white photo of mother

That stems from the fact that flowers have been used as universal signs of love and appreciation for thousands of years. Flowers symbolize love, appreciation, and beauty — the very traits most typically associated with motherhood. They are signs of life and birth (and rebirth!), and experts say that giving flowers encompasses countless feelings and emotions — everything from a gesture of gratitude and indebtedness to recognition for years of love and sacrifice.

American Mother’s Day founder Anna Jarvis instilled the tradition of giving flowers in her very first Mother’s Day celebration. She insisted that church officials distribute white carnations — her mother’s favorite flower — in honor of the mothers of all of those in attendance who had passed away. Since then, carnations, as well as other flowers including roses, lilies, daisies, tulips, daffodils, and sunflowers, have all gained prominence as traditional Mother’s Day gifts.

An ever-evolving celebration

Being a mother, and the act of mothering itself, has grown and changed over time — and that means the Mother’s Day holiday, and who and what we celebrate on this day, has had to evolve as well.

history of mothers day with father and daughter embracing with flowers

“[Mother’s Day] is still about feeling the joy and happy memories of being a mother and celebrating a mother’s love, but we also now recognize that Mother’s Day can be complicated for many people,” says Diana Madoshi, a board member for the Western Association of Women Historians. “Fathers can be mothering. Older siblings can be mother figures. Friends can be mothers in some ways.

“The beauty of Mother’s Day today is that it’s a way to recognize and honor the nourishing and nurturing part of motherhood, while also now recognizing that mothers, and the act of mothering, can take all different shapes and forms, each of which is deserving and worthy of being honored and celebrated.”

4 surprising Mother’s Day facts

1. Americans spent an estimated $31.7 billion for Mother’s Day in 2022, almost double the amount spent just 10 years earlier ($18.6 billion).

2. The most popular Mother’s Day gifts, in descending order, are:

3. Mother’s Day is the single busiest day of the year in the American restaurant industry, with more than one-third of adults going out to eat.

4. The most popular flowers to give for Mother’s Day are carnations, followed by roses, hydrangeas, sunflowers, and tulips.

mother's day flowers ad

Why We Give Flowers as a Gift

In an age where the internet allows us to acquire gifts of every manner and origin within days, how have simple fresh flowers managed to remain one of mankind’s most satisfying and surefire gifts? How can these basic yet alluring blooms still elicit certain feelings within both giver and recipient that even rare, expensive gifts sometimes can’t?

“Few other gifts give a person an instant energy change like flowers do.

Jill manson

Founder of the Jill Manson Floral Design School

jill manson headshot

Flower therapist and décor specialist Jill Manson, founder of a namesake floral design school in South Africa, says it all comes down to the intrinsic energy of nature, an essence of life that exists both within us and flowers, and the personal benefits that engaging this shared energy provides.

“Plants and flowers are living, breathing organisms, another living consciousness that is part of the same universe we are a part of,” Manson explains. “When we realize this and experience it first hand, a profound peacefulness and sense of belonging can be enabled in our being…a return to a state of wholeness and oneness, and a connectedness that is rooted in positivity.”

Flowers are time tested

Flowers are known to have existed on Earth for nearly 130 million years, and those are just the ones we’ve discovered — the first flowers are thought to have existed as many as 250 million years ago! Though many different forms of life have undoubtedly interacted with flowers since their first appearance, the earliest evidence of humans actually gifting flowers dates to nearly 5,000 years ago, in ancient Egypt, a culture that associated flowers with gods and regularly left floral offerings in sacred spaces.

In the millennia that followed Egyptian rule, flower gifting spread across the globe, thriving especially in ancient Rome. By the mid-1800s, mankind’s fascination with sharing blooms resulted in the emergence of Victorian-era floriography, a full-blown language of flower gifting that defined specific messages to be sent — both loving and disdainful — using certain numbers, colors, and arrangements of flowers.

flowers as a gift with woman getting flowers from boyfriend

Flowers provide instant satisfaction

Flowers can be thought of us a two-way gift, a reward to be experienced by the recipient as well as the giver, who gets to witness the heartwarming reaction any human seems to experience when receiving flowers. Manson elaborates: “After all these years of witnessing the act of giving someone flowers, it still happens: People’s eyes light up. Their whole being seems to exhale. Shoulders drop, and the gaze of the eyes softens as the person connects with what they are holding or seeing. There is a moment of stillness that passes that seems like a humbling of the human spirit.”

Manson also notes that the experience of receiving flowers, unlike that of a manufactured gift, offers immediate rewards. While opening, say, a wrapped necklace results only in a shimmer from a still object, “the gift of flowers invokes a sensory experience that is multi-dimensional — smell, sight, and touch — which is a huge benefit for choosing flowers over any other ‘non-living’ present.” This type of instant satisfaction can provide a quick and positive change in someone’s day, both emotionally and mentally.

Flowers say what words can’t

On certain days that call for elegant expression of our absolute deepest feelings, flowers are a time-honored tradition — roses for Valentine’s Day, white flowers for funerals, specific blooms for each anniversary year. On days as meaningful as these, gifting pure natural beauty instead of mere words will likely always be seen as a silent requirement.

Though such occasion-based floral gifts are often simple and traditional, or distinctly designed and purposeful, they can still be personalized. Nearly all cultures and countries have their own traditions when it comes to flowers, and applying them to a floral gift based on a recipient’s background or preferences can put an extra thoughtful touch on an already poignant present.

Flowers enliven our spaces

Gifting flowers to be placed in common indoor areas can do wonders to passively enliven the atmosphere and, effectually, keep on giving every time a passerby encounters their vibrant sights and smells. “My home and my office feel so empty without flowers or plants in it. When they are in place, I feel a sense of upliftment and general well-being,” Manson says. “In my office, I feel less procrastination to start the daily to-do lists. At home, it feels as if I can breathe more deeply, that my home is blessed by some gentle presence.”

flowers as a gift with woman displaying flowers in kitchen

As for measurable indoor benefits, flowers and plants can ease stuffy conditions by helping to provide oxygen and improve humidity in a space, as they do on a larger scale for Earth. After all, Manson points out, “without plants, mankind cannot survive. This is probably the biggest clue to why plants change the energy of our spaces.” And even when their colors fade and their life as an active bloom ends, dried flowers can serve as charming indoor décor; some even look fantastic when framed, serving as a reminder of both treasured times past and familiar seasons to come.

Flowers relax, energize, and inspire

There’s a reason many people turn to gardening as a means to dispel depression, or visit large-scale gardens to lessen the stress of everyday life: Appreciating flowers is a multifold reward, offering relaxation, energy, and inspiration. “Few other gifts give a person an instant energy change like flowers do,” Manson says. “Flowers bless immediately. It’s as if they are a balm or a tonic, an elixir, that the moment they are received, they breathe life and joy into the recipient.” Studies have also shown that simply being in the presence of something so naturally perfect as flowers can encourage creativity.

Flowers make meaningful connections easy

If you don’t yet know someone well, aren’t familiar with their specific likes and dislikes, or simply just aren’t sure what to gift someone you already know, you can never go wrong with flowers. And when selected to reflect elements of your personal taste, they can also serve as a great introduction to the you within. Try assembling a bouquet of your choosing, explaining its whats and whys to the recipient, and how you feel the blooms relate to them. Receiving a gorgeous living thing as a gift is always a touching experience, but receiving flowers chosen with care and intention can establish an even more substantial connection, and deliver a message with the utmost sincerity.

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Valentine’s Day History

We all know that Valentine’s Day is about love and relationships, red hearts, and flowers. But how did it become the giant celebration that it is today? The answer lies in a unique journey, from a third-century Christian martyr to modern-day technology.

The history of Valentine’s Day is long and rich, filled with mystery and lore. Though some of today’s recognizable traditions can be traced back to the Middle Ages, Valentine’s Day got its big boost in the last 200 years, thanks to postal and printing improvements, mechanical innovations, and sophisticated marketing.

Let’s explore the origins of this beloved day of romance and affection.

St. Valentine and love, from ancient times to today

history of valentines day with stained glass window of saint valentine
A stained-glass window depicting Saint Valentine.

There are two primary theories about the identity of St. Valentine. One is that in the third century A.D. a young priest named Valentine was imprisoned for aiding persecuted Christians and refusing to deny his faith to the Roman emperor Claudius. He also helped young men secretly marry their sweethearts, therefore avoiding conscription into the pagan army. For these crimes, Valentine was killed on Feb. 14 in 269 A.D.

The second theory points to Valentine, bishop of Terni, who was martyred at around the same time for attempting to convert Romans to Christianity when it was still considered a cult faith.

Just over 200 years later, in 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius I acknowledged the martyr (whichever one he was) and named Feb. 14 as a feast day. Saint Valentine became the patron saint of engaged couples, happy marriages, and, oddly enough, beekeeping, among other things.

The legend of St. Valentine and his romantic mission thrived throughout the Middle Ages. February continued to be associated with romance and fertility, although theories on why differ. Some claim that the church overlaid Valentine’s Day onto the pagan feast of Lupercalia to discourage the ancient rite of sacrifice. Others point to none other than Geoffrey Chaucer, who set the mood for love in 1375 when he penned “The Parlement of Foules.” This poem made mention of St. Valentine’s Day and mating birds, connecting the notion of courtly love with the February feast day for the first time.

Sending love: The power of the post

Likely the biggest accelerator to the adoption of Valentine’s Day, at least for the inhabitants of England, was the postal reform of 1840. Before that, sending a letter was costly and arbitrary, and only the affluent could afford any regular correspondence. Thanks largely to the efforts of reformer Rowland Hill, Queen Victoria approved a measure to adopt an adhesive stamp that cost one penny, good for any letter or card sent for any distance within the UK.

Sending Valentine’s Day cards began in England, but the practice soon spread to the United States, Australia, and beyond. Around 1848, Esther Howland of Worcester, Massachusetts, began a homebased business making elaborate Valentine’s Day cards, hiring local women and selling them through her family’s stationery shop. By 1881, when it was purchased by a competitor, the New England Valentine Company had its own factory and sold many thousands of cards until its closure in 1942 due to war shortages.

Today, more than 145 million cards are exchanged in person and through the mail on Valentine’s Day. And who knows how many e-cards make their way across the interwebs this time of year?!

valentines day history with card of cupid
A Valentine’s card from around the turn of the 20th century.

World’s oldest written valentines

Early messages of love relied on poetry and romantic verses more than fancy decorative embellishments. The oldest surviving Valentine’s letter was penned by Charles Duke of Orléans supposedly to his wife, Bonne of Armagnac, in 1415 while he was imprisoned in England. The letter was never sent and, in fact, is considered by some to be an impersonal tribute to courtly love. Because of that, the oldest surviving Valentine’s letter award might go to Margery Brews, a noblewoman who wrote to her betrothed in 1477.

The world’s oldest Valentine’s card, believed to be sent in 1797, sold at auction in 2019 for £7,000, or about $8,500 U.S. dollars. Jakki Brown, editor and co-owner of a greeting card trade magazine in London, bought the card and vowed never to sell it.

The message on the front reads: “Farewell you sweet and turtle dove. On you alone, I fixed my love. And if you never can be mine, I never can no comfort find!”

Flowers and candy

history of valentines day with flowers and chocolate

The act of giving Valentine’s Day flowers began around the turn of the 18th century. The custom is often attributed to King Charles XII of Sweden, who learned of the language of flowers while on a trip to Persia and brought it back with him to share with his subjects. The most popular type of flower for this occasion is the rose. Considered the favorite of the love goddess Venus, the rose, and, in particular, the red rose, conveyed passion.

Today, the selection expands to other flowers and colors depending on the relationship of giver and recipient. A bouquet of mixed flowers, such as roses and carnations, is a good way to express your admiration in a more restrained way. You can also choose other flowers in white or yellow; the former represents purity and simplicity, the latter friendship.

About a century after flowers became a customary gift, another development would change the face of Valentine’s Day forever. The Spaniards introduced chocolate to Europe in the 1500s, but it wasn’t until the late 1700s, and the invention of the steam engine, that mass production of the luscious treat became possible.

Today, Americans alone purchase about 58 million pounds of chocolate for Valentine’s Day. The myth of chocolate being an aphrodisiac is well known; however, it may actually act as an acceptable substitute for love, according to one study.

School exchanges

Growing up in 20th century America, the average kid was well acquainted with Valentine’s Day through the ritual of classroom card exchanges. The beloved practice of purchasing a box of Valentine’s Day cards and giving one to each classmate (and sometimes the teacher), often with those pastel-colored conversation hearts, has murky origins but grew in earnest in the 1930s and ’40s.

Thanks to affordable little cards that were printed on perforated stock, the tradition of making little mailboxes and slipping a valentine in the slot grew more popular with each succeeding generation. In recent years, cards have come to depict popular licensed characters, movies, and toys.

Some schools have begun to celebrate Valentine’s Day in ways that are more inclusive and less about spending money. Activities such as writing letters of appreciation to family members, raising money for charity, and creating handmade art in conjunction with the popular 100 Days school event (like making a collage of 100 things they love) are beginning to take root.

Valentine’s Day Symbols: Origins, Meanings, and Significance

Valentine’s Day is nigh, and soon we’ll be awash in cupids and hearts, and all things red, pink, white, and frilly. Romantics the world over relish this day dedicated to love through the gifting of flowers, Valentine’s Day candy and other keepsakes. The fact that it’s a nationally recognized “cheat day,” where the consumption of sweets is highly encouraged, is simply a bonus.

But how did hearts, arrows, and roses come to reflect Valentine’s Day in the first place? Let’s explore the origins and meanings of these and other Valentine’s Day symbols, which are as varied as a heart-shaped box of assorted chocolates.

Origin and meaning of 8 Valentine’s Day symbols

valentines day symbols with vintage card

Handmade notes and cards

The history of Valentine’s Day dates to ancient times; however, it was first declared a celebration of romantic love in 15th century France. It’s no surprise, then, that one of the earliest Valentine letters was written in 1415 by the imprisoned French Duke of Orleans to his bride, Isabella, expressing his love for his “gentle valentine.” Other surviving notes of this period reference love and valentines in tandem, but it wasn’t until the 18th century that presenting handmade notes to romantic partners became a widespread means of marking the occasion.

The Victorians stepped up the Valentine’s game even further by creating ornate handmade cards embellished with hearts, cupids, ribbons, bows, and other flourishes. This tradition endured until the Industrial Revolution and the advent of printing technologies resulted in the proliferation of mass-produced cards. Commercial card manufacturer Hallmark printed its first Valentine’s Day card in 1913, and the rest, as they say, is history.

The heart

Theories abound over how the heart symbol — a universally recognized icon of love — came to be. Aristotle posited that the heart is the container of human passions. He also believed, erroneously, that the human heart contained three chambers — a left, right, and middle — and this may have led to misinterpreted renderings of its shape that resulted in the symbol we know today.

A more plausible theory, however, centers on a long-extinct herb called silphium, whose seed pod shape consisted of two rounded adjoining tops that curved to form a single point at the base of the stem. Ancient Romans harvested the plant, which they used for its medicinal properties as well as a method of contraception; the herb — and its shape — thereby became associated with fertility, which, reinterpreted over time, evolved as a symbol of love.

valentines day symbols with heart shaped bamboo
valentines day symbols with cupid

Cupid, and his bow and arrow

Walk through any art museum in the world, and you’re likely to find sculptures and paintings that feature Cupid, the Roman god of love, whose lore originated in Greek mythology as Eros, the god of love and desire. While Eros was oft depicted as a potent young adult male, Cupid emerged during the Renaissance as a cherubic, flush-faced infant with wings and tousled hair. It’s this little guy — a bow and arrow-filled satchel slung over his shoulder — who continues to get top billing on Valentine’s Day.

A hopeful and sometimes mischievous matchmaker, Cupid shoots his arrow at the intended couple; the pierce rouses love and passion between the pair, leading to a lifelong relationship. So, when people are said to have been “shot by Cupid’s arrow,” it means they have fallen in love.

Doves

A quintessential emblem of peace, the dove is also a symbol of romantic love and monogamy thanks, in part, to its habit of mating with only one partner in a season. Male doves actively participate in the caring of the couple’s offspring, which has built them a rep for being loyal and devoted helpmates. Aphrodite and Venus, the goddesses of love in Greek and Roman mythology, respectively, were often portrayed in the company of doves, which further affirms the bird’s standing as an appropriate Valentine’s Day motif.

Love Doves And Heart Table Ornament
valentines day symbols with roses

Red, pink, and white roses

As with many other Valentine’s Day icons, the red rose can be traced back to the goddesses of love, Aphrodite and Venus. According to Greek mythology, roses grew from the ground sprinkled with Aphrodite’s tears that merged with the blood of her lover, Adonis, who died in her arms. Traditionally, red signifies passion and desire, which is why red roses are also one of the most popular Valentine’s Day blooms.

Pink represents love of the self and others, as well as friendship, whereas white represents purity and innocence — all qualities linked to love and desire. To be clear, there’s no wrong color when it comes to Valentine’s Day roses — and no wrong flower, for that matter — so don’t be shy if you’d prefer to send your significant other a more colorful bouquet.

Knots

Knots have enjoyed symbolic significance for centuries in both pagan and religious ceremonies across cultures. The phrase “tying the knot” was coined from the ancient ritual of handfasting, wherein a couple’s hands were bound together in braided cloth, or knots, during marriage and betrothal ceremonies. The “binding” of the couple together through knots represented their lifelong commitment to each other. Today, knots and bows on Valentine’s cards and candy boxes pay homage to this early custom.

valentines day symbols with cards tied with a knot
Godiva Fabric Heart Box

Chocolate

A heart-shaped box of chocolate is to Valentine’s Day what eggnog is to Christmas — they are both wildly popular and you rarely see them at any other time of year.

Unlike some other traditions that date back thousands of years, the gifting of chocolate at Valentine’s Day originated in the Victorian era thanks to none other than Richard Cadbury, of the Cadbury chocolate empire. In the 1840s, the Cadbury company honed its chocolate manufacturing skills to a science, prompting an increase in chocolate production for everyday consumption — a relatively new concept at the time. A marketing genius ahead of his time, Cadbury designed aesthetically pleasing boxes in which to package and sell the delicious confections.

The scheme worked. Soon, the heart-shaped box, which Cadbury is believed to have invented, came into being for Valentine’s Day. Because the boxes were so beautifully adorned, consumers were encouraged to keep theirs long after the candy was gone as containers in which to preserve love notes and special keepsakes. Today, Victorian-era Cadbury boxes are a collectible.

Candy hearts

Speaking of candy, no article about Valentine’s Day symbols would be complete without a mention of those pastel-colored, sugary-sweet chalky conversation hearts. Embossed with syrupy phrases like “Be mine,” “Kiss me,” and “You shine,” this candy developed as the unintended product of a plan to invent a new throat lozenge.

In 1847, Boston pharmacist Oliver Chase, looking for a more efficient way to manufacture lozenges, developed new technology to mass-produce lozenge dough into wafers. Seeing the opportunity to do something bigger — and potentially more lucrative — Chase instead launched the New England Confectionary Company and began producing the wafers as a sweet treat. Chase’s brother, Daniel, recognized a growing trend in Valentine’s cards and soon figured out a way to print messages on the wafer candies. A few years later, the company began cutting the wafers into heart shapes. As the company grew, the size of the candy wafer shrunk, but it still leads the way as one of the most recognizable symbols of Valentine’s Day.

Conversation Hearts Personalized Candy Jar

Valentine’s Fun Facts & History

The arrival of February is marked by several obvious signs. Store shelves overflow with heart-shaped candies. Everywhere you look, couples passionately embrace on street corners, as love fills the air. And nary a commercial goes by that doesn’t feature a stunning piece of jewelry.

February may be synonymous with a handful of events — there’s that big football game that is contested during the first week or two of the month — but none is more popular than Valentine’s (sorry, leap day). As the most romantic day of the year, our societal fixation on the day of love makes sense — after all, whose heart doesn’t beat a little faster when thinking about the one they adore?

valentines day facts with couple embracing with flowers

The jovial spirit and lovey-dovey passion of Valentine’s only account for a fraction of what there is to know about this holiday, however. The financial, historic, religious, and other factors that helped establish this day and continue to power it forward are captivating, and may even reshape your perception of Valentine’s.

Whether you are single and ready to mingle or happily coupled up, read on for some fascinating Valentine’s facts.

History of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day has its roots in a man named Valentine. Or two men. Let’s explain.

One origin story tells of a third-century priest named Valentine who lived in Rome. The emperor at the time was Claudius II, who, hoping to make young men better soldiers, outlawed marriage. Valentine, recognizing the unfairness of this decree, secretly continued to marry youthful couples. When his defiance was discovered, he was put to death.

Another features a man named Valentine who was imprisoned and later killed for helping Christians escape captivity in the torturous Roman prisons. This Valentine penned the first Valentine’s card when, from jail and before his death, he sent his jailer’s daughter, who secretly brought him food, a love letter and signed it “From your Valentine,” thus beginning a tradition we embrace to this day.

Valentine’s facts by the numbers

The history of Valentine’s is one of myth and legend, but the modern-day numbers associated with the holiday are anything but — though they are no less unbelievable. While it comes as no surprise that people exchange a lot of gifts and spend an exorbitant amount of money on Valentine’s, the actual figures may just blow your mind.

valentines day facts with valentines confections

Valentine’s facts on flowers

No Valentine’s is complete without flowers. Whether you are a traditionalist and always opt for a bouquet of red roses or a creative spirit who prefers a unique smattering of unconventional blooms, this is the perfect opportunity to express your personality and affection. No matter what floral route you embrace, one thing is certain — your crush will cherish your token of love.

  • Thirty-nine percent of people anticipated buying flowers for Valentine’s in 2024. The total spend on those flowers was expected to be $2.6 billion.
  • Men are far more likely to buy flowers or plants than women — 60% to 33%, respectively.
  • Roses are the most popular Valentine’s flower, with over 250 million produced exclusively for the holiday each year. Of those who planned to buy flowers for Valentine’s 2024, 70% said they’d be buying roses.

Best Valentine’s flowers

While roses dominate the top spot on the Valentine’s Day flower power rankings, many other beautiful blooms make superb gifts for your special someone. If you are looking for some of the best, most romantic blossoms for your loved one, here’s a roundup of some popular holiday picks.

red roses

Roses

Classic and elegant, roses are synonymous with love and Valentine’s. You cannot go wrong when you opt for roses as a gift on Feb. 14.

Tulip Iris Bouquet

Irises

Alluring due to their unique shape and vibrant hues, irises are as distinct as the bond you share with your special valentine.

Lovely Lilies Bouquet

Lilies

With blossoms as grand as your love, lilies make wonderful Valentine’s gifts. Choose from several shades to find the ideal color to complement your other gifts and appeal to your better half.

warm sunset bouquet

Sunflowers

Valentine’s is the time to express all those sweet feelings you have toward your partner, and what better way to do that than with bright, showy sunflowers? After all, your love brings warmth and joy just like the sun!

valentines day facts with exotic breeze orchids

Orchids

Unmistakable blossom structures are a hallmark of orchids, the 2023 Flower of the Year. Featuring distinctive color patterns, these fun flowers truly stand out from their petaled counterparts.

tulips

Tulips

Bright and inherently festive, tulips bring a lively pop of color to any occasion, especially one proclaiming love.

fields of europe romance

Daisies

Daisies, with their petals spread wide like they are waiting for an embrace, are both delicate and charming. Classic white blooms are most common, but you can grace your Valentine’s bouquet with a variety of colors.

gardenia plant

Gardenias

Fragrant to the nose and exquisite to the eye, gardenia blooms, and their deeply rich accompanying foliage, can fill a room just as they fill a heart.

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Lavender

Lavender is known for its alluring scent and healing properties, and it also has the benefit of being incredibly gorgeous.

majestic hydrangea

Hydrangeas

Like giant puffs of joy, hydrangeas bloom in round groups, making them full and impressive. They also come in a wide variety of colors, giving you several ways to suit your valentine’s preferences.

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How Christmas Is Celebrated Around the World

Every country has things that make it stand out and differentiate it from all others. Language, geography, food…these are just a few features that separate one nation from another. But one thing that remains constant, no matter where on Earth you go, is the near universal love of Christmas. And the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ is merrily adapted and re-interpreted to reflect each nation’s beliefs and culture.

We all know the traditions of Christmas within the United States, but what happens on and around Dec. 25 in other parts of the world is quite different. Here is a “12 Ways of Christmas” roundup that offers a virtual journey, with universal themes of feasts, family, music and concerts, candles, nativity plays, trees, and, above all, togetherness.

Belarus

The Belarussian festival of Kaliady dates back to pagan winter solstice celebrations. Meaning “calendar,” Kaliady encompasses three important dates: two Christmas dates of Dec. 25 and Jan. 7, and New Year’s Day in between. In a nod to its Soviet past, Belarus puts more emphasis on New Year’s than on a religious holiday. Nevertheless, some cherished traditions remain, such as New Year’s trees and the exchange of gifts. Grandfather Frost (“Dzied Maroz” in Belarussian), often accompanied by his granddaughter Snegurochka, arrives bringing presents for the children. The New Year’s Day feast is grand and traditionally consists of a dish called an olivier salad (right) made of green peas, potatoes, eggs, mayonnaise, and ham.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Belarus = “Z Kaljadami”

christmas around the world with olivier salad
christmas around the world with Picana boliviana

Bolivia

Bolivia is predominantly Catholic, so the religious aspect of Christmas is very important to the people there. On Christmas Eve, in towns across the country, large processions carry a heavy altar with a statue of Jesus through the streets. After midnight Mass, families return home to a large Christmas meal of picana (left)— a stew made with chicken, beef, and pork — tropical fruit, and salads. To help make the season bright, Bolivia and other Latin American countries have a law called aguinaldo, which requires employers to provide a bonus in December that equals 30 days of normal wages. Many families spend their bonuses on gifts and extra special groceries for Christmas and New Year’s.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Bolivia = “¡Feliz Navidad!”

Photo credit: “Picana boliviana” by Dayana Christ Martínez Carrasco is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0

Costa Rica

Christmas is a cherished occasion in this beautiful tropical country. The holiday season is welcome after the long school year; Costa Rica’s academic year runs from February to November. To celebrate, Costa Ricans often create elaborate nativity scenes in their yards and wreaths made with cypress and red coffee berries. After midnight Mass, known natively as “misa de gallo,” or “mass of the rooster,” families enjoy a traditional Christmas dinner of tamales wrapped in plantain leaves and accompanied by the ubiquitous salsa Lizano, roast pork leg, rompope (eggnog), and Christmas cake.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Costa Rica = “¡Feliz Navidad!”

Photo credit: “Cena navideña tica – Costa Rican Christmas dinner” by Aleat88 is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0

christmas around the world with Costa Rican Christmas dinner
christmas around the world with A Congolese Christmas

Democratic Republic of the Congo

Big musical events and long nativity plays demonstrate the Congolese people’s love of theatrics and Christmas. The play begins with the biblical story of creation and goes right through to King Herod and the slaughter of the innocents. Timing is important, as the birth of the baby Jesus should occur right at midnight, after which there is more singing. (It’s a late night!) Christmas dinner is the best that families can afford, usually chicken or pork dishes, with plenty of time before and after for napping and conversing with family.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Democratic Republic of Congo = “Mbotama Malamu”

Photo credit: “A Congolese Christmas Is Just Plain and Simple” by Woody Collins is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Egypt

Egyptians celebrate Christmas on two different dates: Dec. 25 and Jan. 7 (for Coptic Christians, who make up more than 90% of the Christian population in Egypt). During Advent, Coptic Christians adhere to a vegan diet for 43 days to honor the holy nativity fast. Then, on Christmas Eve, they enjoy a great feast, including beloved dishes such as roast turkey and fatteh (right), a kind of toasted pita casserole. For non-Coptic Christians, presents from Baba Noël (“Father Christmas”) come on Dec. 25, while in the Coptic tradition, gifts of money are typically given to younger family members on Jan. 6.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Egypt = “Eid Milad Majid” (literally translates to “Glorious Birth Feast”)

christmas around the world with fattah
christmas around the world with greenland

Greenland

Trees imported from Denmark are lit up on Dec. 23 and Moravian stars shine brightly in the windows of homes in this Arctic country, where the sun does not rise all winter long. During the season, children go door to door singing carols, and on Christmas Day everyone in the village receives a gift. That evening, women enjoy being waited on by the men, who stir the food and serve them hot coffee. Plenty of roasted seal, whale, and reindeer meat are on the menu, with cobblers and Danish pastries for dessert.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Greenland = “Juullimi Pilluarit”

Hong Kong

Hong Kong is a vibrant and beautiful city, and the residents really know how to celebrate. WinterFest is known throughout the world as one of the largest outdoor holiday celebrations and puts everyone in the Christmas spirit. During Winterfest, which runs from late November to early January, the West Kowloon Cultural District is transformed into Christmas Town, featuring a giant lit tree, a village of holiday-themed “Santa lodges,” and art and musical activities. The city’s many skyscrapers also have holiday designs on their facades made with Christmas lights. Hongkongers enjoy a nice, long break, as another national holiday, Boxing Day, is observed on the first weekday after Christmas.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Hong Kong = “Sing Daan Fai Lok”

christmas around the world with hong kong
christmas around the world with japan

Japan

While New Year’s is Japan’s biggest holiday, the Japanese have adopted a theme for Christmas that centers on love. Couples celebrate the holiday with a romantic dinner and stroll along decorated streetscapes. Interestingly, “Ode to Joy,” the prelude to the last movement of Beethoven’s “Symphony No. 9,” has become a universal carol throughout the country, likely introduced to Japan by German prisoners of war during World War I. Other traditions include eating strawberry sponge cake and Kentucky Fried Chicken.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Japan: “Merīkurisumasu”

Malta

This tiny island country in the Mediterranean may be small, but the Maltese celebrate big at Christmas. The holiday culminates with midnight Mass, at which a child is often chosen to deliver the sermon, a tradition called priedka tat-tifel. Leading up to Christmas, you will see elaborate cribs, or presepju (right), displayed in churches and private homes depicting nativity scenes. These are often surrounded by tufts of gulbiena, long white grasses cultivated in dark cupboards in late November. On Christmas Day, everyone gathers for a big meal of baked chicken or pork and imbuljuta tal-qastan — a beloved hot chestnut and cocoa soup.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Malta = “Il-Milied it-Tajjeb”

christmas around the world with malta
christmas around the world with mexico

Mexico

Mexico is rich in Christmas tradition, with festivities occurring nonstop from Dec. 16 to Jan. 6. Mexicans erect elaborate nacimientos (nativity scenes), and children often dramatize parts of the Christmas story during “posadas,” a celebration that takes place on the nine nights leading up to Christmas. Posada parties include lots of games to play, goodies to eat, and piñatas to break. One fascinating tradition is the “Noche de Rábanos” or “Night of the Radishes,” which takes place in Oaxaca on Dec. 23. Specially grown large radishes are carved into elaborate figurines of the nativity or wild animals, and prizes are awarded to the best ones.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in Mexico = “¡Feliz Navidad!”

The Netherlands

When it comes to visits from the “jolly old man in the red suit,” the Netherlands is a double winner. St. Nicholas, or Sinterklaas, arrives bearing gifts on Dec. 5, while Santa Claus, or Kerstman, arrives on the evening of Dec. 24 with even more treats! St. Nicholas is said to come by boat from Spain, choosing a different harbor each time so that all children get an opportunity to see him. Santa Claus, meanwhile, hails from Lapland (Finland). Other Christmas traditions include decorated trees and a reading of the Christmas story after church services. Dutch families often enjoy a “gourmetten” meal together, which is a raclette-style heating pan put in the middle of a table with an array of meats, cheeses, and condiments.

How to say “Merry Christmas” in the Netherlands = “Prettige Kerst”

christmas around the world with netherlands
christmas around the world with four praying children at Nativity Church in Bethlehem

Palestine territories

For the Christian, Muslim, and Jewish people of Palestine, Christmas marks a season of particular joy and pride, with their home country being the actual birthplace of Jesus. In Bethlehem, about six miles from Jerusalem, a parade comes through the center of the city on Christmas Eve, complete with bagpipes. The Mass of the Nativity takes place within the church that is believed to be built on the spot where Jesus was born. Families and friends look forward to superb holiday food, from qidreh (spiced meat, chickpeas, and rice) to stuffed lamb’s neck and plenty of sweets.

How to say “Blessed be your Christmas” in Palestine territories = “Eedookh Breekha”

Photo credit: “The four praying children – Nativity Church, Bethlehem” by Pierre Janineh is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

History of Marriage: 13 Wedding Facts That Really Take the Cake

Mawwage — ahem — marriage. It’s what brings us together. It’s also a ceremony rooted in centuries-old superstition.

Did you know the tradition of a groom carrying his new spouse across the threshold dates back to ancient Rome? It was a way to prevent the bride from tripping and, thus, conjuring up the evil spirits who once occupied the newly wedded couple’s home.

And while today’s wedding guests gather ’round to catch a bouquet or garter belt in hopes it will bring them future love and marital bliss, historically, it was a small piece of the bride’s gown that was torn off for good luck at the end of the wedding ceremony.

history of marriage with a bride looking at her photos while bridesmaids do their makeup in the background

So book the hall, pick out your invites, dust off that rented tux that you forgot to bring back — and cue up the band for a first dance of facts about the history of marriage, engagements, weddings, and anniversaries.

Did you know…

  1. In 2021, there were 61.45 million married couples in the United States, compared to 40.2 million married couples in 1960.
  2. The average cost of a wedding in the U.S. in 2021 was $28,000 ($34,000 if you include the engagement ring).
  3. The longest marriage on record is that of Herbert Fisher (born 1905) and Zelmyra Fisher (born 1907), who were married May 13, 1924. The Fishers remained married for 86 years, 290 days, until Herbert died on Feb. 27, 2011. He was 105. Zelmyra died two years later, also at the age of 105.
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  1. Mariah Carey bumped Elizabeth Taylor off the No. 1 spot of possessing the world’s most expensive engagement ring. Australian media mogul James Packer proposed to the singer with a 35-carat, platinum-set, emerald-cut diamond flanked by two baguette diamonds valued at $10 million. Carey reportedly sold the ring for $2.1 million as part of their breakup.
  1. The current estimated median age for a first-time marriage is 30.4 for men and 28.6 for women.
  2. Eighty percent of all weddings take place between May and October, with the three most popular months being June, August, and October.
  3. The practice of a groom and his groomsmen wearing matching suits began during medieval times. Back then, it was thought that by dressing identically the men would confuse evil spirits wishing to curse the newlyweds with bad luck.
  4. The largest vow renewal ceremony in the U.S. consisted of 1,201 married couples. It took place in Kalamazoo, Michigan, on Oct. 8, 2016, during Western Michigan University’s homecoming weekend.
history of marriage with a wedding tablescape with colorful flowers
  1. The shortest marriage on record is believed to be a mere 180 seconds held by a man and woman in Kuwait. It’s said the new bride tripped and fell after saying “I do,” and, instead of lending a helping hand, her new husband called her stupid. Back on her feet, the bride demanded the judge annul the marriage ASAP.
  2. Rumored to be the most expensive wedding gift a groom has bestowed on his new bride, a $20 million Gulfstream jet was given to Katie Holmes by Tom Cruise when they wed in 2006. The present was a foreshadowing of sorts, as she jetted from their marriage six years later.
  3. The average honeymoon duration is seven days. The tropical paradises of St. Lucia, Jamaica, Bora Bora, and the Bahamas are among the most popular destinations for post-wedding getaways.
  4. Traveling to an exotic destination — or traveling anywhere — for a honeymoon wasn’t always customary. In 19th century Great Britain, instead of setting off for foreign lands, a newlywed couple would visit those friends and family who were unable to attend the wedding. And many, many, many moons ago, ancient Norse bridal couples jaunted off after their wedding into hiding, where they were brought a cup of mead (honey wine) for one moon cycle. Hence, the origin of the word.
  5. U.S. couples celebrating 50, 60, and 70 years of marriage can receive a free anniversary greeting from the current U.S. President and First Lady.

The Psychology of Giving and the Importance of Mindful Gifts

a graphic for the giving is the gift content series

It goes without saying that we give gifts to show we care. But it’s equally true that the gift fully serves that purpose only if it pleases the other person, and it will please them only if they find it meaningful.

“So, for example, even if you love French, don’t give somebody a book of French poetry in French if they don’t read French,” psychologist Ellen Langer says.

The gifts that best show you care make the recipient feel you know who they are, Langer explains. “That’s why having a secretary send out gifts for you isn’t generally met with glee because the secretary doesn’t really know who your recipients are,” says Langer, a professor at Harvard University.

The key to giving a good gift, she says, is knowing exactly why you are presenting that particular present to that particular person, ideally so that they also know and appreciate why you chose it. That way, you feel the reality of your own goodwill and generosity, and they feel they matter and deserved the thought you put into it. In this sense, giving is itself a gift: Both the giver and the recipient benefit from a stronger relationship.

Hormonal highs

When gift giving works this dual magic, it can trigger a flood of hormones for happiness and intimacy, such as the surge produced by giving birth.

“A huge amount of hormonal activity goes on, both when we give and when we receive,” says Mark Williams, professor of cognitive neuroscience at Macquarie University in Australia.

psychology of gifting with woman receiving a gift from a man.

The initial response in the gift recipient is a surge of dopamine, our happiness neurotransmitter. It surges in gift givers as well when they see their giftee’s happy response and feel their present was a success. This is especially true if you are there, fully part of the experience, when the recipient opens the present, Williams says.

The neurotransmitter serotonin, which helps us feel connected to others, also surges, as does oxytocin, the neurotransmitter that famously creates attachment and intimacy between parents and newborns. For them, physical touch plays a major role in triggering oxytocin, but in gifter and giftee, it’s more a metaphorical sense of “being touched” by each other thanks to a thoughtful present.

“When this neurotransmitter gets released, it opens us up and makes us more willing to share a bond with someone,” Williams says.

Humans are social animals, and for millions of years, notes Williams, we’ve relied on connections with one another to survive and thrive. “A huge amount of our brain is dedicated to these connections,” he says. “Gifting is a big part of that. When all these really important neurotransmitters are released, it makes both givers and receivers feel these connections.”

psychology of gifting with woman receiving a beautiful floral bouquet as a gift.

Strengthening the bonds

In fact, an especially thoughtful gift can create a more or less permanent bond between two people, says So Yon Rim, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at William Paterson University in Wayne, New Jersey. However, a thoughtless or inappropriate gift may have the opposite effect.

“I see the role of gifting to be quite significant in establishing interpersonal closeness,” Rim says. “Gifts that are appropriate and well received can affirm and strengthen the relationship, while a gift which seems thoughtless or inappropriate can weaken the relationship. In the worst-case scenario, it can even sever the relationship.”

Givers tend to focus on the ‘wow factor,’ the excitement of opening a gift. But that’s often not the main thing the recipient is looking for. Often, it’s the practicality of use.

So Yon Rim

Psychology professor

William Paterson University

Appropriateness, she explains, is a key factor behind the success of a gift; the most expensive, spectacular present is certainly not always the answer. Obviously, a gift that seems too little or insignificant can make someone feel unappreciated and resentful, but if it’s too much for the state of the relationship, it can feel awkward.

In either case, it can weaken the relationship.

Rim’s research has also found some surprising truths comparing high-quality gifts versus convenient, practical gifts. Past research, she says, found that givers typically chose quality over convenience; however, her work shows that recipients really put a higher premium on convenience.

“Givers tend to focus on the ‘wow factor,’ the excitement of opening a high-quality gift. But that’s often not the main thing the recipient is looking for. Often, it’s the practicality of use. For example, when you get a gift card to a restaurant that’s moderately rated but just 5 to 15 minutes from your house, it tends to make you feel closer to the giver than if you received a gift card to a five-star restaurant an hour away from you.”

This may show the recipient that the giver knows and appreciates her situation — perhaps she has two little children and taking a long drive with the kids to a fancy restaurant is untenable, whereas a quick trip to a simple, nearby restaurant where kids can be kids is more practical and satisfying.

“Our data show that this is especially true when the giver is able to communicate why they chose the gift they did, something like “I hope you really like this gift, because I thought about it, and I wanted to get you something that would be convenient and easy for you and the kids.”

Never be ashamed to explain why you got the gift you did; it shows you put special thought into it, based on who your recipient is and what her life situation is.

Moving beyond obligation

Of course, we all have situations where we are obligated to give someone a gift, such as when we’re named the “Secret Santa” for a co-worker in our office. But thoughtfulness is still key. Otherwise, Langer says, you waste an opportunity because a perfunctory gift that lacks any joyful thought behind it establishes no real connection between you two, and could even strain relations between you.

psychology of gifting with gift being exchanged.

So, if you don’t know the recipient well, find out from someone in the office who does know them well what their interests are.

“All ceremonies run the risk of being enacted mindlessly,” Langer explains. “When we give gifts because we feel an obligation, it takes away from the giving enormously. We cheat ourselves when we do this, and we build up resentments. Instead, we have to keep in mind that giving is an act of kindness; it’s a chance for me to do something nice for you.”

Gifting for a better society

Langer believes that gifting plays a key role in society through the phenomenon of “paying it forward.” When someone gets a thoughtful gift, she says, they’re more likely to give someone else a thoughtful gift, and so on. Eventually, many people “downstream” may find themselves happier because of one person’s care and kindness.

“Each year, I visit a city in Mexico called Puerto Vallarta, where everyone you pass is smiling, and they say good morning, good afternoon, and they ask you how you are. They all seem happy and connected, and it just makes you feel better about everything. You go to the store, and you’re kinder to the salesperson, and she’s kinder to the next person,” Langer says. “I think gifting has that effect on people. When you give people the gift of your best self, good feelings just spread.”

psychology of gifting with white flower bouquet.

For professor Williams, gifts are a fundamental building block in group development.

“I give you a gift, and we become friends. And you give someone else a gift, and you become friends. Then I become friends with that person through you, we exchange gifts, and so on and so on, and it creates a larger group we’re all connected to, and we all work together to do positive things,” he says.

“We know that socialization, having a group of friends, is better at treating anxiety and depression than any drug in the world. And gifting is one of the fastest routes to socialization that there is.”

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Gift History: How Giving Makes Us Human

In the grand scheme of human behavior, exchanging gifts may seem a pleasant triviality.

a graphic for the giving is the gift content series

But ask a scientist and they’ll tell you: Without gifts, we wouldn’t be here.

Consider: Back in prehistoric times, there were several different hominids — or human-like animals, including the Neanderthals. None of those earlier species survived.

“They were all pretty smart,” says Mark Williams, Ph.D., professor of cognitive neuroscience at Macquarie University in Australia. “In fact, the Neanderthals had a slightly larger brain than Homo sapiens.”

What Neanderthals didn’t have, however, was a certain gift…for gifting. Despite Homo sapiens’ smaller brains, they were far more adaptable in ways that directly contributed to their survival. One important area involved forming bonds with other members of a group.

“Gift giving was a major part of that. It has changed through the millennia, but it’s really still the same thing today,” Williams says. “It’s about establishing connections between individuals so that we can cooperate with one another and work together productively, and gifts can facilitate all of that.”

In other words, it’s central to who we are, and how we’ve survived, and thrived. To put it another, gifting is a gift that’s benefited all of us, whether we’re giving or receiving.

gift history with tribe of Prehistoric Primitive Hunter-Gatherers in a Cave at Night

Early gift exchanges

Originally, it worked like this: You went out hunting, killed an antelope, and had extra meat. You gave some of that meat to other members of your tribe, and that created a bond between you. Then the next time they went hunting, they gave you the maximum return that they could.

“So that bond became stronger. You continued to collaborate in that way, and then maybe you went hunting together and did other things together,” Williams says.

gift history with small gift

Daily gift exchanges were also central to the connections between prehistoric men and women.

“When we were basically hunter-gatherers, men would have done most of the hunting, going after the antelopes, etc., and women would have done most of the gathering, digging up tubers and the like, with the two sexes then exchanging or sharing these gifts,” Williams says.

“Those probably would have been the first gift exchanges, because they were the first things they had to exchange. And those gifts would have helped cement those important relationships.”

With time, these exchanges grew more sophisticated — swapping tools to build shelters or using these same tools to create jewelry for one another. “Maybe a male, rather than giving a woman an ax, would make a small piece of jewelry for her as a sign that they were in a relationship or that he appreciated her.”

And this level of gift giving essentially led to the kinds of gift giving that go on between us today. “Millions of years later, maybe we don’t share antelopes, but we give each other gifts to show we appreciate someone for what they’ve done, and they give us gifts to show they appreciate what we’ve done. And that builds really strong relationships.”

Pagan times

Native Americans practiced a gift-giving feast called Potlatch for thousands of years for occasions ranging from births and deaths to weddings. Attention was always focused on the gift giver rather than the receiver.

We give each other gifts to show we appreciate someone for what they’ve done, and they give us gifts to show they appreciate what we’ve done. And that builds really strong relationships.

Mark Williams, Ph.D.

Professor

Macquarie University

“The ceremony intended to reaffirm the status of the gift giver, with the giving of expensive gifts being a sign of their wealth and power,” writes Kat Whittingham in a blog entry titled “The History of Gift Giving.” “This made gift giving very important for the social hierarchies in Native American civilizations.”

The most advanced civilizations adopted these practices as well. The Romans, Egyptians, and Greeks before them gave gifts to one another to formalize relationships.

“This very good habit of gift giving was an intricate part of their societies,” Williams says. “They gave each other very elaborate gifts.” It began with everyday citizens giving to everyday citizens within a society, but then it went across societies — from ambassador to ambassador, king to king, pharaoh to pharaoh.

The beginnings of Christmas gift giving

gift history with christmas gift celebration

In the Bible’s account of the gifts of the magi, with three pagan kings bringing gifts to the newborn Christ, we see the start of gift giving from the pagan eras being incorporated into the Common Era and Christmas gift giving.

This idea of gift giving kept evolving and shifted into social high gear with the advent of Santa Claus. The original model for Santa Claus was various versions of St. Nicholas, usually traced back to the Netherlands or Germany in the fifth or sixth century; one version, Williams says, had St. Nicholas leaving gifts for good children on their doorsteps and chunks of coal for bad children.

All these beliefs coalesced in the famous 1823 poem “The Night Before Christmas,” says Stephen Nissenbaum, professor of history emeritus at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and author of The Battle for Christmas.

Early on, this version of Santa started being commercialized, advertised by merchants as a lure to bring parents into shops to buy presents for their kids. Where earlier gift-giving rituals involved giving to the poor, “this ultimately replaced giving down across class lines with giving down across generational lines, producing the familiar modern domestic gift-giving Christmas ritual we have today,” Nissenbaum says.

Birthday gifts

It wasn’t until the 19th century that birthday gifts to children, once the province of royalty and the very rich, fully caught on among ordinary citizens. “It reflected the fact that kids were becoming much less likely to die in childbirth, so you could afford an attachment to them that was riskier before the 19th century,” notes Peter Stearns, Ph.D., a professor of history at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. 

gift history with woman happy to receive gift

The earliest birthday gifts were initially pretty modest, often a Bible or relatively simple items of clothing.

“The first known birthday in the United States was celebrated in 1772, for a 7-year-old girl in a wealthy family in Boston,” Stearns says. “By the 1830s and 1840s, it’s pretty clear that some kind of birthday celebration for kids was becoming increasingly known in middle-class families. It involved a small party, and cake became increasingly important, but fruit was served as well.”

It wasn’t until the 20th century that birthday gifting became more popular. By then, many other occasions were being built around gift giving as well, from Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to weddings, Bar Mitzvahs and Valentine’s Day.

To give is human

In this way, we have found a way to break up the quotidian monotony into which life can sometimes devolve, and to allow ourselves special, memorable, heartfelt occasions throughout the year.

So if finding the right gift for Uncle Ned seems a chore, keep in mind: Without gifts, we likely would have gone the way of the Neanderthals.

And anyway, it’s not that hard. Ned loves pears.

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