Category: Power of Everyday Moments

Infuse our everyday lives with micro moments and experiences to make the most of our time.​

Burnout: What It Is, How We Can Recognize It, and 3 Ways to Come Back From It

Change is the only constant in life, but going through it isn’t always easy. Periods of transition — especially when they completely upend the daily routines we have become used to — can be stressful even during the best of times. But when we’re moving through difficult experiences such as grief, illness, or another stage of adversity, an abrupt shift in both our schedules and the new levels of effort and attention that are required of us can leave us feeling burned out.

With all the everyday responsibilities we have — work, school, family, etc. — it’s important to understand the toll that pushing ourselves beyond our sustainable limits can take on our physical, emotional, and mental health.

Light After Loss Ep. 25: The Burnout Is Real: How to Avoid It, Recognize It, and Take Action

In a recent “Light After Loss” episode, Modern Loss’ Rebecca Soffer spoke about burnout, boundaries, and the need to continually check in on your own personal state with Jen Fisher, U.S. human sustainability leader at Deloitte and a leading voice on the intersection of work, well-being, and purpose. Fisher also hosts the WorkWell podcast series and recently gave a TedXTalk on “The Future of Work.”

Here are some of highlights from their conversation.

What is burnout, anyway?

The tricky thing about this term is that it’s not a medical or mental health diagnosis (although the World Health Organization has recognized it as a workplace crisis). In general, burnout is the feeling of being generally emotionally and physically exhausted to the point where it interferes with our ability to live our daily life. Another tricky aspect is that many people don’t realize they are in the burnout zone until it is too late.

We get to burnout by telling ourselves that we can just keep pushing through the things we feel we “need to do” all the time: finish that work project, go to the gym every day, attend a variety of events on our calendar. But pushing through when we are exhausted is actually the most unhealthy thing we can do.

How can we recognize burnout?

Sad unhappy man holding his forehead

Ironically, when we’re dealing with burnout, it’s sometimes easier for the people who know and care about us to see us struggling with it than we can. They may notice that we seem different than usual and ask if we’re doing OK.

Some of the common signs of burnout can deeply impact various aspects of our entire well-being. Make note of whether you are experiencing some of the following ones, either as pointed out to you by someone who cares about you or if you notice it yourself. If you are, it may be time to seek professional help.

Physical

  • Fatigue (feeling like sleeping much of the time or struggling to do even simple tasks)
  • Apathy
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Headaches
  • Changes in diet

Emotional

  • Feelings of apathy or defeat
  • Strong self-criticism
  • Feelings of detachment
  • Heightened anxiety or unease
  • Irritation
  • Difficulty or inability to find satisfaction in parts of your life that typically bring you joy

Social

  • A decreased desire to spend time and/or connect with family and friends
  • Struggling with maintaining focus and productivity
  • Decreased expressiveness
  • Loss of a sense of self

How can we start to come back from burnout?

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

We have only a finite amount of time and energy — boundaries are what allow us to take care of ourselves. The cliché “Put your oxygen mask on first” is a cliché for a reason: If we don’t draw boundaries around our actual abilities, the world around us will be glad to draw them for us (or even erase them).

Here are three ways to effectively create boundaries.

signs of burnout woman with spa products

1. Make yourself a priority

All of us have ongoing non-negotiable responsibilities, such as those related to being parents, our jobs, our partners, etc. But it’s also important to create a list of your personal and professional “non negotiables.” What are the things you need to do on a daily, weekly, monthly, or even annual basis that allow you to be “you”? Include both small and bigger things, such as a daily sleep schedule, regular exercise, time with friends and family, activities such as reading or being in nature, or even a yearly vacation. Write them down where you can see them every day and make a habit of sticking to them. Doing this — protecting your emotional, mental, and physical space — naturally creates healthy boundaries. And by guarding that space for yourself, you can be more aware of the time and energy you’ll have left over to offer to others.

2. It’s OK to say “no”

Remember: “No” (or even “Not right now”) is a full sentence. It’s important to ask yourself: “Should I be doing this thing at this exact moment or can I do it later, or even not at all?” Practice saying “No” to invitations that feel like they’re too much or don’t fall within your interests. It’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone you aren’t available to help them with something at a particular time and instead offer another time that works better for you (or to connect them with someone else who is more available to help).

3. Clear communication is key

Maintain open and honest communication about your abilities with managers, friends, and family (and what they can do to help you stay within them), as well as speak with a supportive mental health professional. Chances are that the people who care about you will want to help you uphold what you need to do to take care of yourself, but we need to clearly communicate those needs so there’s no confusion about what they are.

This article was authored by ModernLoss.com, which offers candid conversation about grief and meaningful community throughout the long arc of loss.

How We All Can Benefit from Bereavement and Compassionate Leave Policies at Work

The grieving process doesn’t respect office hours. (And let’s be honest: These days, office hours can be any time of day.) Yet in the United States, more than 60% of workplaces offer only three days or fewer of bereavement leave after a major loss. That leaves millions of people to manage the harsh aftermaths — both emotional and logistical —while still having to fulfill their responsibilities at work.

Light After Loss Ep 24: Bereavement in the Workplace: Why (and How) We Should Recognize It

In a recent “Light After Loss” episode, Modern Loss’ Rebecca Soffer spoke with Becca Bernstein, senior manager at Option B, a program out of the Sandberg Goldberg Bernthal Family Foundation that helps people navigate loss and hardship, and support their loved ones. Its mission was inspired by former Meta (formerly Facebook) COO and Lean In cofounder Sheryl Sandberg, whose husband, Dave, died suddenly in 2015.

Option B recently launched a campaign to help both employees and human resources leaders better understand the real facts about grief and ways in which employers can provide support that matters. Here are some key takeaways from their conversation on how and why businesses should do better at supporting their people who are going through difficult times.

The business case for expanding bereavement and compassionate leave is strong

The inability to grieve fully impacts people’s desire and ability to continue working for an organization, which leads to higher turnover rates. According to Option B’s research, nearly 80% of 18- to 34-year-olds would consider leaving their jobs if their workplaces didn’t offer proper support after a major loss, evidence that such support is now expected and no longer viewed as a “nice-to-have.” People remember how their workplace showed up for them in their darkest hours.

bereavement leave with boss consoling stressed female office worker

The kindness of managers can only go so far

Employees frequently must depend on the compassion of managers to receive the support they need. But if a business does not have clear policies that reflect those good intentions, then understanding what the expectations are during times of loss can be hard for everyone. Putting managers in a situation where they are doing guesswork as to what they can offer their employees is not fair, and it is even worse if one team is offered a different set of options than another within the same company.

The ideal policies should include the following:

  • A minimum of five days of paid leave (though the best-in-class policies include up to 20 days).
  • The ability to take leave nonconsecutively or in a nonlinear way. After all, that is an accurate reflection of the grieving process, which does not end after the funeral.
  • Clear leave for pregnancy loss and miscarriage. Currently, only one in four U.S. companies provide such leave for an experience that one in four women who get pregnant go through.
  • Including paid compassionate leave, a catch-all category for any life-altering and emergency loss and hardship. This could include a seriously ill close family member or providing support to a caregiving loved one.
  • Expanded definitions of who can take leave. Meaningful connections look different for everyone. Some of us deeply grieve for aunts, caretakers, mentors, and friends. The best policies provide flexibility and cover the loss of a range of loved ones (yes, even pets). They are also a sign of respect, giving employees the space to grieve those who are most important to them.
bereavement leave with distressed businessman

Employees can enact change, too

It can be daunting to advocate for change at the workplace, and sometimes you need a script to take action. That’s why Option B created an employee toolkit that helps get the ball rolling, with five key recommendations to start a conversation for change.

Anyone who has worked through a painful loss remembers the details of how they were treated at work — from the small gestures of kindness from colleagues to the exact policies enabling (or not enabling) them to care for themselves during some of their toughest times. Companies have an enormous opportunity to create meaningful change in their employees’ lives with regard to a universal experience, and the hope is that they do.

This article was authored by ModernLoss.com, which offers candid conversation about grief and meaningful community throughout the long arc of loss.

Save, Store, or Donate: Organizing What’s Left Behind After a Loss

Deciding what to keep (or sell, donate, or even just throw away) after a loss can be hard. When we are grieving, a mere “object” can carry so much emotional charge that even considering starting the process can feel overwhelming.

Light After Loss Ep 23: Save, Store, or Donate: Organizing What's Left Behind After a Loss

In a recent “Light After Loss” episode, Modern Loss’ Rebecca Soffer spoke with Shira Gill, a globally recognized home organizing expert and author of “Minimalista” and “Organized Living.” Gill has taught thousands of people how to declutter their homes and lives, and developed a process and toolkit that applies to anyone, regardless of budget, space, or lifestyle. She is also intimately familiar with the experience of going through a loved one’s belongings.

Here are six of her best tips that might help as you consider starting your own “edit,” or helping someone through theirs.

1. Check in with yourself

It’s important, first and foremost, to respect your own process. After all, it can take years for someone to feel ready to sort through certain items, such as personal letters or photos. Unless you are under a short deadline to go through everything at once (and if you are, please consider putting everything into storage boxes for the time being), do ongoing check-ins with yourself to see how you feel about starting this type of project. You can sense when you feel ready. Trust your gut.

Some questions to ask yourself:

  • How does it feel to consider beginning the process?
  • Would it be cathartic to make some decisions on what to do with things, or does the thought of it fill me with dread and anxiety?
  • Do I only feel comfortable when I imagine going through things that don’t seem as personal as others?
  • Am I at the point where I feel like my life is being overtaken by someone else’s stuff? Do I feel less anxious when I imagine some items being removed from my daily surroundings?
A woman packs clothes in a box for donating clothes

2. Seek out support through friends and extended community

When there is a loss, most people around the griever want to help but don’t know how. Many are happy to receive an assigned role or invitation to be helpful in a specific way.

Many people feel shame around asking for help. But the intrinsic motivation to do something hard and emotionally grueling doesn’t come easily to most of us. This is one of those life experiences when the presence of another can be an integral salve — not just in helping you feel less alone but in helping you make some good decisions and even in keeping you on task.

Consider inviting someone from your family or a group of friends, or even a colleague who you trust to have no judgment to take on bite-sized pieces of the process with you — even if just to sit with you for a couple of hours while you go through a box or two. The person will feel like they’ve been a useful part of a very hard experience, and you won’t easily forget their support either.

3. Physical boundaries are your friend

In a process that has no real rules, knowing that you have certain boundaries that will keep you anchored can be liberating and grounding. When it comes to thinking through what items you can physically keep in your own home, consider purchasing a set number of airtight bins that will comfortably fit in your storage area. Creating limits may help you make some difficult choices more easily.

4. Categorize, categorize, categorize

how to declutter with antique pocket watch with Victorian items

Try to make a delineation between “stuff” and true memorabilia. Perhaps your dad’s coffee mug carries no emotional weight, but his marked-up trail map or photos from the Peace Corps do. Look at the items you want to go through and decide which ones are mere “things” and which are unique to your person. Set aside a premium pile of things to either keep or give to family members or friends, and another that might be able to do some good for someone you don’t even know. You don’t have to make a final decision right away (and you might even end up switching some items as time goes by), but categorizing as you go can help things become more clear.

5. Pace yourself

Unless you have to go through belongings in a short period of time, allow yourself to work in small increments. Taking the pressure off when decision-making stakes feel high is so important. Pace yourself and go step by step to keep up your energy and stay focused.

You may find it easier to sort by category one at a time — say, books, music, clothing, or appliances — so you can assess each category and select the most meaningful and precious items from each group. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with shoving everything into a bunch of boxes and putting them in storage until you are ready to sit and process.

6. Give things to those who will appreciate them

Chances are you won’t be able to — or even want to — hold onto everything left behind. You can also be sure that other people in your life would emotionally benefit from being able to receive some of those things. Make a list of everyone connected to your person who might have an interest in having something, and then let them choose what they want in a structured way.

One option is to take photos of everything you are willing to part with, and send a blanket email to your inner circle asking people to tell you what they’d want and offering to ship it to them. Another is to set a time to invite people to visit your home and look at everything using a sticker system as a visual code to “claim” things they really care about (ie, “red” means someone really wants an item, “yellow” is a nice to have). If you’re lucky, you won’t have any conflict over any items (and if you do, make it clear that you reserve the right to hold onto them until you make a final decision…remember the part about pacing yourself?) Then, donate whatever is left over.

This article was authored by ModernLoss.com, which offers candid conversation about grief and meaningful community throughout the long arc of loss.

Funeral and Sympathy Etiquette by Type of Service

We often think of funerals and memorial services as opportunities to honor our loved ones, but often these services are a time for healing and acceptance, and can prove to be a vital part of the grieving process. Services provide an outlet for our emotions and help us come to terms with our loss, as well as provide us with the opportunity to connect with family and friends, all of whom may also be in need of support.

Every culture and religion has its own sympathy practices and traditions for mourning, which is important to remember when attending a memorial service or funeral for someone outside your own ethnicity or religious faith. Learning and understanding proper sympathy etiquette will help you better express your sympathy and ensure that your thoughts and well wishes reach grieving friends and family members.

It’s also important to remember that each service or ceremony is as unique as the individual whose life it celebrates, and often the deceased’s personality will shine through, regardless of religious practices or ethnic background. Etiquette for expressing sympathy varies from family to family. Depending on the family, the circumstances, as well as the funeral or service type, it may be appropriate to send flowers or gifts to the funeral home or the home of the bereaved. In most cases, it’s not necessary to send flowers right away, as the family of the deceased will be receiving an abundance of flowers in the days leading up to the funeral or memorial service. Waiting until the initial shock of death has faded to send expressions of sympathy may be a wise choice, as it’s never too late to offer your condolences and continued support.

Below is a helpful guide to the various types of funerals and memorial services, each with its unique sympathy etiquette.

Wake/Visitation

Location: Funeral home/Funeral home chapels

Traditional wakes or visitation hours are most often held at the funeral home itself or, infrequently, at the home of the deceased or an immediate family member. Most commonly referred to as a viewing or wake, this type of service gives friends and loved ones an opportunity to say one last goodbye to the deceased, as well as provides mourners a chance to offer support to one another. Visitation hours are most often held a few days before the funeral service and typically last a few hours.

Mass or memorial

Location: Religious place of worship (e.g. church, synagogue, temple)

It is common for funeral services to be held first at the funeral home and then, later, at a church or place of worship, where a full or condensed religious service is performed. These types of services are most frequently held early in the morning and are attended by immediate family members and close friends. Following the service, attendees typically, but not always, drive in a procession to the cemetery or burial site. Often, a funeral home or church staff takes on the responsibility of transporting flowers from the funeral service to the gravesite.

Burial service at the cemetery

Location: Cemetery/Cemetery chapel/Gravesite

Sometimes memorial services are conducted at the site of internment, and other times a funeral procession from a church or place of service arrives at the gravesite following a ceremony. In both cases, the burial site is the location of the final service where a prayer or military honor may be preformed. Following the funeral service, the deceased is either interred or has their ashes scattered on site, or given to the family.

Cremation services

Cremation is a common practice during which the deceased’s body is reduced to ashes by means of a burning ritual. It is generally carried out in a crematorium furnace or crematory fire and is an alternative to burial or the funeral rite of burial. Cremations often have viewing hours and funeral services prior to the scattering of the ashes or receiving of the ashes by the deceased’s family. Regardless of whether the deceased is buried or cremated, sending flowers is proper sympathy etiquette.

Cremation with traditional funeral

In the case that a cremation is held with a traditional funeral service, an open casket viewing may or may not be held. In either instance, flowers and sympathy etiquette are the same as with a traditional funeral service which includes internment.

Cremation with memorial service

A memorial service often has a cremation urn as well as flowers, photos, and other mementos of the deceased on display. It’s best to determine whether or not an urn will be included in the memorial service so you can work with the funeral director to design the appropriate floral arrangement for that particular display and service.

What to send

Cremation wreaths are specially designed to decorate an urn or framed photo. Such arrangements are typically ordered by the family in lieu of a casket spray. Appropriate expressions to send to a cremation memorial service are standing sprays, floor and fireside baskets, and vase arrangements and potted plants.

Direct cremation

In the case of a direct cremation, families sometimes forego holding a funeral service or memorial service. Oftentimes, the immediate family has a floral arrangement specially designed to display with the urn. Even if there is no planned funeral or memorial service, it’s still appropriate to send an expression of your sympathy to the home of the bereaved.

What to send

Gourmet sympathy baskets, potted funeral plants, vase arrangements, memorial trees, and small tokens of remembrance are all appropriate expressions of sympathy, and can be sent to the home of the deceased at any time, regardless of whether services are being held.

Life celebration

Location: Funeral home, family’s home, park, restaurant, beach, or any location chosen by the immediate family as a place to congregate for to pay last respects and celebrate the individual’s life

The purpose of a life celebration is just as the name suggests — to honor and celebrate the life of the deceased. These unique memorials are tailored to the specific interests of the individual being celebrated and may include special music, food, or activities that reflects the deceased’s personality.

What to send

For a life celebration, expressions should reflect the individual in some way. These may include an arrangement made up of their favorite flower and can be traditional (lilies in a vase) or more celebratory. Either way, your expression should be one of meaning and reflect your unique relationship to the deceased.

Military/Armed forces

A military funeral is often performed if the deceased was a member the armed forces. The specific rituals performed are often reflective of the deceased’s rank, whether the person was on active duty when he or she passed, as well as in which branch he or she served. Gun salutes, drumming, and the draping of a nation’s flag over the coffin are common military funeral honors. It’s important to note that funeral flowers are never laid on top of the flag, and you won’t see flowers on a casket covered by the flag. Instead, standing arrangements and baskets are the most appropriate expression for military funeral services.

What to send

It’s appropriate to send traditional standing sprays, floor or standing baskets, standing wreaths, fireside baskets, and red, white, and blue floral arrangements.

Public servants

Location: Generally a funeral home or religious institution

Public servants, such as police officers and firefighters, are granted unique honors for their funeral or memorial service. Members of the police academy receive a 21-gun salute as a way of honoring the deceased’s service to the community. There are also unique procedures carried out for line-of-duty deaths for both police and firefighters, including the appointment of a liaison who will act as a point of contact between the bereaved and the police or fire department. Elaborate funeral processions are also common in the case of a line-of-duty death, and many members of the deceased’s department will arrive to the funeral or memorial services in full uniform.

What to send

Standing arrangements such as sprays, wreaths, and floor baskets are appropriate expressions to send. Often, personal tributes in the form of a shield may also be a way of conveying sympathy as well as honoring the deceased’s service to the community.

Green burial

Location: Outdoors at family’s request

As an alternative to a traditional funeral, the deceased’s family may choose to hold a green funeral or burial. This alternative seeks out new, natural ways to perform a burial that use fewer resources, leave less of an imprint on the environment, and require less funds. Green burials are often chosen to promote and extend the deceased’s values and concerns about the environment. These natural burials help to conserve both land and resources, as well as reduce the use of harmful chemicals used in embalming processes.

What to send

For a green burial, it’s appropriate to send a meaningful expression to the home of the bereaved. Memorial trees, live plants, and fruit baskets are all excellent choices for expressing your sympathy, and support the natural lifestyle promoted by green burials.

Pet sympathy memorials

Location: At a funeral home or alternate setting

Animal lovers will often hold memorial services for a cherished pet, especially those they may have had for a long time. While pet memorials are rarely as extensive as those conducted for humans, expressions of sympathy are always welcome.

What to send

Small sympathy vase arrangements, a potted plant, a pet memorial gift, stepping stones, or books are appropriate expressions of sympathy.

Home funeral

Location: Home of the deceased or an immediate family member

Home burials are an alternative to traditional funerals that continue to increase in popularity. Many times, home burials are carried out with the guidance of a funeral director, who oversees all aspects of the burial and makes sure all state regulations for burial are met. Home burials are often chosen as an alternative means of internment because they tend to be less expensive than a traditional burial and are a way to keep the body of a loved one close to home.

What to send

Vase arrangements, flower baskets, and standing sprays are appropriate expressions of sympathy, and can be sent to the home of the bereaved at any time.

Private funeral services

Location: Determined by the family of the deceased

Private funeral or memorial services are typically smaller than traditional services. These services are closed to the general public, and only those who are invited may attend. Circumstances surrounding the deceased that may cause a family to opt for a private service include infant deaths, victims of crime, and celebrity deaths. Often, these events result in the family experiencing extreme emotional shock, which may prevent them from opening services to the public. Private services may also be held to reduce cost and keep the ceremony simple and intimate.

What to send

Standing sprays, vase arrangements, and plants that suit the individual and grieving family can be sent to express sympathy.

Alternate services

Location: Determined by the family of the deceased

Alternative funeral services have increased in popularity over the years as a way to “take back death” and restore the intimacy between the living and the dead. Rather than leaving everything in the hands of a funeral director, many have chosen to take care of matters themselves. Often, this means family members help wash and dress the body of their deceased loved one, build a casket, or plan a memorial service. By spending time with the deceased’s body, the bereaved have a chance to say goodbye and may come to terms with their loved one’s death sooner than if they left these duties to someone else.

5 Paw-some Tips to Make Your Dog’s Next Birthday Party the Best Yet

dog birthday party with wine

Birthdays come around only once a year. And, just like humans, dogs deserve to have their birthdays acknowledged and celebrated. After all, who doesn’t want another happy occasion to celebrate, and who doesn’t like delicious cake?!

While some people might find celebrating a dog’s birthday strange, believe us when we say, it’s not! Your furry friend is an important part of your family, and he should be treated as such.

Whether you decide to celebrate your dog’s Gotcha Day or birthday, here are five paw-some suggestions to ensure your dog’s next birthday party is his best one yet.

1. Choose a “paw-ty” theme and run with it

Like every good birthday party, your dog’s b-day bash should have a theme. These can range from simple and classy to extravagant and over the top. Ideas include a summer luau bash, carnival party, Hollywood superstars shindig, or even a decade-themed celebration.

The best way to pick a theme is to think about your dog’s personality, as well as the guests you are considering inviting, and select one based on those factors. Regardless of what you opt for, make sure you go all the way with it!

2. Spice up the presentation

dog birthday party with tablescape

When it comes to planning a party, presentation is everything. Based on the theme you settle on for your pooch’s blowout, you can choose how to decorate your space. You can also choose a color scheme and use that for your party supplies, including tableware, balloons, streamers, party favors, and more. Some party supply and pet stores (and, ahem, certain online retailers) even have pet-themed plates, napkins, and banners. If you’re a DIYer, let your creative juices flow and make your own personal banners and signs in honor of your furry friend. And, of course, pet-themed floral arrangements add a splash of color and fun to any space.

3. Set up a doggy photo booth

Lights, camera, action! Nothing says making memories like taking pictures. Setting up a doggy photo booth is the best way to snap some unforgettable moments from your pooch’s special day.

One way to do this is to make your own backdrop, provide some props, and set a custom hashtag for when your guests want to post about your event on social media. You can coordinate this with your party’s theme, or keep things simple and low fuss with a more basic design.

4. Make the human experience just as fun

While the event will be centered on the adorable pups, you have to make sure keep their owners entertained too. That means making sure ALL attendees are well fed and amply hydrated, and have plenty to do.

dog birthday party with people having fun

Whip up some dog-themed party foods, such as like mini hot dogs and sandwiches cut in bone shapes. Of course, you can never go wrong with crackers, dips, and veggie platters, or a classic meat and cheese spread. For dessert, dog treats for the canines and cookies for the humans will do the trick — and, what do you know, you can get them both in one convenient package.

Regarding activities, feature pet-themed party games for your guests to play. A limbo contest, musical chairs, and a scavenger hunt are just a few that humans and dogs alike can participate in.

5. Buy your dog a present, or five

What dog birthday is complete without goodies for your furry friends?! Sure, your dog probably has a ton of toys already, but providing him with new things to play with will keep him occupied and happy for hours — and treating your dog to a new present has benefits to you too. Squeaky toys, hats, and bandanas are just a few items that would make the perfect gift for your guest of honor — and, what do you know, you can get all three in one convenient package.

Golden Birthday Celebration Ideas: How to Make the Most of This Magical, Once-in-a-lifetime Day

Golden birthdays are a unique milestone in everyone’s life, but they’ve only recently taken on party-worthy status. If golden birthdays have been filling up your social feed and you’re curious to learn what the buzz is about, this fully gilded guide will teach you everything you need to know about these monumental moments.

golden birthday table decorations
Photo courtesy of Kelly Willis Rodgers

What is a golden birthday?

What even is a golden birthday, you might ask. Good question! Simply put, it is when your birthday date matches your age. For instance, if your birthday is Feb. 21, your golden birthday is the day you turn 21. If your birthday is May 15, then your 15th birthday is your golden birthday. Pretty simple, right?

If your birthday falls at the beginning of the month, you’ll have to ask your parents if they celebrated your golden birthday, since you probably would have been too young to remember it. As you can see, golden birthdays are limited to the 31-and-under crowd. But even if you’re older than that, you can still get in on the golden fun — you just have to get a little creative with it.

What’s the backstory on golden birthdays?

Although golden birthdays have recently become a social media trend and parties seem to be popping up all over the place, the concept of golden birthdays actually dates back decades. Back in the 1950s, before Instagram influencers set the tone for trendy parties, romance novelist and mom Joan Bramsch started celebrating the golden birthdays of her five kids.

In the decades that followed, the appeal of this festivity fizzled to the point that many of us never enjoyed a golden birthday party of our own. But, like so many reasons to host a special party (gender reveals and cake smashes and alt bashes), social media has brought the concept into prominence.

Why celebrate a golden birthday?

Every birthday offers a great reason to celebrate and honor someone special in your life, and a golden birthday year is no different. The best reason to make a golden birthday special is that it’s a day that happens only once in someone’s lifetime. Plus, who doesn’t love being awash in golden balloons and decorations, and hopefully getting an extra piece of birthday cake for the occasion?!

For kids, when every birthday already feels like a big milestone, adding in a golden birthday aspect is easy, says party planner Jane Sheriff, creative director of Darling Celebrations and a mom of three. When you get a little older, and birthdays tend to take on less significance, the act of recognizing the uniqueness of the day can make the occasion feel a bit more momentous. “For adults, a golden birthday is the opportunity to throw a big celebration in a year they might not otherwise really celebrate,” she says. And that’s reason enough to embrace the golden glory of this special year.

Glowing party ideas

Making a golden birthday extra special is easy — you just need to add a few dazzling touches. Sheriff says to think gold and sparkly. That’s what mom Kelly Willis Rodgers of Nashville, Tennessee, did for her daughter Poppy’s golden (seventh) birthday. Pairing white and pastels with gold touches, she went with gold mini disco balls throughout the tablescapes along with starburst balloons and plenty of gold tinsel for the “Golden Girl” party theme.

“Balloons, banners, streamers, and tableware are all good, cost-effective ways to bring the gold theme to life,” Sheriff says. You can quickly gild your party space with gold touches, from party plates and napkins to tablecloth and utensils. “A gold balloon arch makes a great statement piece,” Sheriff says. You can also make a big impression with a golden balloon drop, which would be especially memorable at a golden birthday surprise party for an unsuspecting guest of honor.

golden birthday balloon decorations
Photo courtesy of Kelly Willis Rodgers

Fun golden birthday activities

Enhance the gold theme of any party with a round of trivia in which all the questions and answers relate to something gold. With regard to music, compile a playlist of all “gold” songs (think “24K Magic“). Ask guests to dress in gold attire from head to toe and pile on as much bling as they can. Sheriff says she recently celebrated a family friend’s golden (18th) birthday with a gold-themed dance party. “We asked all the guests to wear gold. We had a gold dance floor and a gold glitter ball.”

Here are four other ideas for dazzling golden birthday party activities.

1. Golden treasure hunt

Hide gold items or use clues with a golden theme to add a fun, physical activity to either an indoor or outdoor party setting. Prizes, of course, can be made “golden” by simply wrapping them in gold foil.

2. DIY golden crafts

Keep with the gleaming theme by offering guests glittering craft projects, such as painting gold picture frames, making “gold” jewelry, or covering cardboard trinket boxes in gold foil for a chic look.

3. Make your own photo booth

Set up a ring light tripod with a phone and outfit guests with plenty of gold-themed props, from oversized gold “jewelry” to giant faux gold bars.

4. Go for the gold

Give young party guests with plenty of energy the chance to compete in a mini version of the Olympics. Everyone gets a gold medal for participating!

Golden delicious party fare

From golden beets and butternut squash to yellow curry and golden honey cakes, menu options that match a gold theme abound. And what party is complete without a scrumptious dessert bar? Fancy it up by using edible gold dust or spray to give a glow to cupcakes, cookies, and donuts. For grown-ups, a champagne toast will add the necessary touch of glam a golden birthday deserves.

golden birthday desserts
Photo courtesy of Kelly Willis Rodgers
golden birthday golden birthday cake
Photo courtesy of So Sweet Cakes

All that glitters: A special golden birthday cake

One of the best ways to enhance the spirit of the celebration, Sheriff says, is with a gorgeous golden birthday cake. “Go for a tiered or layered cake for a special birthday like a golden birthday. You can decorate with gold leaf or edible glitter, or add gold food coloring to your icing to make something really special.”

Many bakeries now offer golden birthday cakes, such as So Sweet Cakes in Northridge, California. This one (pictured above) is fit for a king or queen, complete with gold bars, gold roses, and, of course, the number cake topper all decked out in gold.

Gracious gift ideas

“If your budget allows, then the perfect golden birthday gift would be solid gold jewelry!” Sheriff exclaims. “A gold initial necklace or gold bracelet are both great ideas, or anything that the recipient could keep as a keepsake gift would be a good choice.” For any lover of chocolate, the classic gold ballotin box of Godiva chocolates matches the theme perfectly. And don’t forget to wrap your gift in gold wrapping paper, Sheriff reminds.

Miss your golden birthday? Try these glowing milestones instead

If you’re like most of us, you’re probably bummed that you missed out on your golden birthday. But take heart…you have options! Check out these three variations on the golden birthday.

1. Double golden birthday

A birthday ad showing gift ideas for October birthdays.

Double the date of your birthday and you’ll have the age when you’re ready to celebrate. Example: For a March 20 birthday, celebrate when you turn 40.

2. Triple golden birthday

Same math applies here as with a double golden birthday. Just multiply your birthdate by three and you’ll know when it’s triple golden birthday time.

3. Platinum birthday

Think of this as the reverse of your golden birthday. It’s the birthday that corresponds to the date you were born, only inverted. Example: Your birthday is June 24, so your platinum birthday is held when you turn 42.

6 Steps to Throwing an Easy — and Unforgettable — Birthday Dinner Party

tribute birthday banner

Hosting a birthday dinner party at home is a great way to show a loved one how much you care. While entertaining friends and family can be incredibly enjoyable and rewarding, hosting can also be a bit stressful, especially if it’s for an extra special occasion, such as a milestone birthday.

As host, having to plan all the décor and food options for the big night can feel overwhelming. If you’re ever in this situation, remember: Your No. 1 goal to make sure your guests have fun and enjoy the company, and the guest of honor feels properly feted.

With that in mind, here are six tips for hosting an elegant birthday dinner party without the stress.

1. Prepare early

Invite your guests at least two weeks in advance. Make sure to pin down those “maybe” responses and check on dietary restrictions so you know how many people you need to prepare for and whether you need to make any extra accommodations. Check that you have enough dishware to go around and order any supplies you may need ahead of time.

birthday dinner party placesetting

If ordering products online, confirm shipping dates so everything arrives in time for the party. If you need to pick anything up, get it the day before. Do a deep cleaning the night before too, especially in areas where guests will congregate. In short, getting as much done as you can ahead of time will reduce stress on the day of the event.

2. Set the mood with a well-themed table

Creating a tablescape makes an at-home birthday feel even more special. You don’t have to go crazy: An elegant, blush-toned palette with floral details will set a sophisticated and luxurious mood. Flowers are a great centerpiece, or you could even use succulents (which can double as a take-home gift at the end of the night!).

Keep the interests of the birthday boy or girl, and the time of year of the party, in mind when decorating. For instance, if he or she likes rabbits and plants, pick up porcelain bunnies and cute succulents to decorate. If the event is in the spring, use pink and purple roses for accents, and set it all on a white tablecloth. It creates a lively spring atmosphere!

3. Coordinate a playlist

birthday dinner party serving pasta salad

Make sure the playlist matches the mood for the night. Choose low-tempo, mellow tunes so the music doesn’t interrupt the conversations. A playlist consisting of a well-curated blend of contemporary and soulful tracks is perfect for background ambiance. If you’re feeling especially creative, try building your own playlist with your guest of honor’s favorite songs.

4. Keep the food simple

For a truly stress-free night, have the dinner catered. Instead of doing all the cooking yourself, just order and heat up tortellini with spinach and sun-dried tomatoes. Pair it with a fresh side or radish salad for a well-rounded offering.

For after dinner, a cheesecake party wheel lets your guests enjoy four varieties of a classic dessert. Another slightly more whimsical — but no less decadent — option are cheesecake pops.

To snack on either before or after dinner, set out cheese and fresh fruit. Or bring a touch of elegance to the proceedings with a platter of hot hors d’eurves.

5. Consider wine and food pairings

Wine is a classy touch for birthdays and is easy to pair with most food options (and it allows for toasts!). Ellen Sorensen, merchandising manager for wine at Harry & David, suggests pairing the tortellini with chardonnay, and the salad and fruit with sauvignon blanc. Sparkling wine is the perfect match for the cheesecake dessert, since “the bubble will cut through the richness,” Sorensen says.

Not everyone drinks the same thing, though. Offering a few wine options, along with some non-alcoholic choices like sparkling juices or creative mocktails, shows you’ve gone the extra mile in customizing the night.

birthday dinner party wine and food

6. Plan after-dinner activities

Even though so much work is put into the meal, dinner usually lasts only about 30 minutes. Once everyone’s finished, leave the plates and suggest a move to a new room.

If the weather is nice, take the party outside for some casual after-dinner drinks and merriment. Or keep guests entertained by suggesting playing a board game, singing karaoke, or going on a walk through your neighborhood.

Best Birthday Gifts for Leo

tribute birthday banner

Known best for their generosity, Leos are fabulous gift-givers who are always quick to share their open hearts and giving natures. With a flair for the dramatic, a tendency to be flashy, and an inventive spirit that can’t be tamed, these signs — aptly represented by a lion and two halves of a heart — can be tough to shop for.

The trick is getting to know what makes a Leo tick and then using that knowledge to find the perfect present, says Lisa Stardust, New York City-based astrologist and bestselling author.

What to know about Leos

Leo (July 22-August 22) is the fifth sign of the zodiac, following the water sign Cancer. As fixed fire signs, Leos are known for their passionate determination, Stardust says. “Leos are not going to change their mind about something once they’ve set it,” she says. “But as a fire sign, they’re the manifestation, or spark, of inspiration. They start things, and they get things done.”

Middle aged woman holding a surfboard on a beach, radiating vita

Leos are also identified with having extravagant tastes, Stardust says. “They’re represented by lions — the kings of the jungle — so they know they’re powerful, but they’re also honest, creative, and have big hearts.”

The planetary ruler of Leos is the sun — a symbol of vitality, Stardust says. True to their summertime sign, Leos like to live life to the fullest.

“On good days, Leos love to be in the sunlight, have a great time, and be open and transparent with their loved ones,” she says. “But it’s important to remember the duality of the signs: Lions might love the sun, but they still sleep in caves.”

Best birthday gifts for Leos

Whether it’s their love of bold colors, wild shocks of hair (common for these lion-represented signs), or their relationships, Leos love to make a statement. Gifting them something that plays into that proclivity, such as satin pillowcases and sheets, cat-eye sunglasses, or even gold jewelry, is a smart way to go, Stardust says.

“Leos are known for liking things that are over the top,” she says. “Something bold — bright colors, strong perfumes — will be a good choice for Leos.”

Stardust says that Leos will also appreciate gifts for their hair. “Like lions, Leos usually have a beautiful mane, so hair-related products will likely go over well.”

Consider hair bows, hair brushes, headband sets, scalp masks, conditioners, hair oils, and anything else a Leo can use to keep their locks looking lovely.

Go-to birthday gifts for Leos

Armed with what we know, there’s no shortage of presents that the Leo in your life will like. Here are five types of birthday gifts for Leos.

Something that grows

The Leo’s flower is, not surprisingly, the sunflower, and you cannot go wrong with a bouquet of these beauties.

birthday gifts for leo woman holding sunflower bouquet

Other gold options, such as yellow mums, are a safe bet, too.

Something for the sun

Leos love their moment in the sun — metaphorically and literally — so gifting them something they can enjoy during the summer is usually a winner, Stardust says.

“When I picture a Leo, I see them standing in the sun with the breeze blowing in their hair,” she says. Things like sun hats, beach tents, beach towels, beach bags, and other such gifts are all great options.

Something gold and flashy

birthday gifts for leo Sunny Garden Basket
Sunny Garden Basket
birthday gifts for leo summer shoulder tote
Hello Summer Reusable Shoulder Tote
birthday gifts for leo zodiac necklace
Gold Constellation Star Zodiac Necklace

“Leos love gold — the color and the jewelry,” Stardust says. “It doesn’t matter if it’s not real gold, either.” Additionally, Leos will love pendants with the sun on them to represent their planetary ruler.

Within the jewelry realm, consider everything from earrings and cufflinks to rings, necklaces, and bracelets.

And while the jewelry you gift a Leo doesn’t necessarily have to be gold, it should lean toward the more gaudy, Stardust says.

Something to spark creativity

With their tendency to be outside-the-box thinkers, Leos often take up artistic pursuits, so any gift related to music, painting, drawing, acting, and art should be a hit. Stardust says that Leos are likely to enjoy things like drawing materials, painting sets, art (or art classes), or even a karaoke machine (they love to entertain, after all).

Something for their heart

Each zodiac sign is said to rule specific parts of the body. For Leos, one of those parts is the heart, and because of that, Leos tend to be romantic, generous, and dedicated friends and lovers.

Stardust says, “Consider getting them something romantic, like poetry books. They might also like heart-shaped jewelry or a heart pin.”

For more astrological birthday gifting inspiration, check out our other zodiac gift guides:
Gifts for Virgo
Gifts for Libra
Gifts for Scorpio
Gifts for Sagittarius
Gifts for Capricorn
Gifts for Aquarius
Gifts for Pisces
Gifts for Aries
Gifts for Taurus
Gifts for Gemini
Gifts for Cancer

50 Belated Happy Birthday Wishes for Family and Friends

Birthdays are special occasions that revolve around joy, laughter, and celebrating your loved ones. They also provide an opportunity for fun festivities, reflection, and connection. While timely birthday wishes are the norm, belated happy birthday wishes can be just as meaningful.

Life can get busy, what with work, family, and personal responsibilities, and it’s not uncommon to forget someone’s birthday. However, we should always remember that the sentiment behind birthday wishes goes beyond a specific date. Belated birthday wishes show you care about the person and their big day, even if you didn’t remember it in time.

“Birthdays are a time to express your admiration, and it’s a time for the birthday person to feel special,” says Jaime Bronstein, licensed relationship therapist and author of “MAN*ifesting.” “As long as too much time has yet to pass, it’s best to reach out to share your birthday wishes because, ultimately, a late birthday wish is better than none at all.”

Happy birthday greetings

When it comes to belated happy birthday wishes, there are no strict guidelines on how late is too late. However, Bronstein says, if it’s over a month, you should briefly explain why your birthday wishes are late and then focus the message on catching up.

To make your belated birthday wishes more meaningful, a little extra effort can go a long way. “The gesture of getting the person a card with a personalized message shows them you care,” Bronstein says. “When someone receives a card versus a text message or an email, it makes them feel extra special.

“You should also consider calling them,” she continues. “In our modern world, people forget the power of a phone call. Show that you care by calling versus texting.”

Belated happy birthday wishes for family and friends

Crafting a belated happy birthday message from the heart — whether sincere or humorous, for a friend or family member — is something that may not come easily to you. If that’s the case, here are some ideas to get you started.

Sincere belated birthday wishes

  1. Belated happy birthday! May the year ahead be filled with abundant blessings, joy, and success. I’m so sorry for the delay. My wishes for you are as heartfelt as ever.
  2. Wishing you a belated but no less wonderful birthday. I hope your day was filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories. Cheers to another fantastic year!
  3. Belated happy birthday! I hope your special day was everything you wished for and more. Sending you loads of love and good vibes for the year ahead.
  4. Time got away from me, but my well wishes didn’t. Belated happy birthday! I hope your day was filled with laughter and love. Let’s get together soon!
  5. Please forgive my forgetfulness, but I couldn’t let the occasion pass without sending you belated birthday wishes. May the days ahead be filled with endless laughter, abundant love, and dreams that come true.
  6. Late but sincere, my birthday wishes come your way. Belated happy birthday! May this year be filled with sunshine, adventure, and all the happiness you can imagine. You deserve the best.

Joyous belated birthday wishes

  1. Oops! I’m fashionably late to the birthday party, but that doesn’t mean I’m not excited to wish you a belated happy birthday! May your year be filled with laughter, adventures, and all the cake your heart of gold desires.
  2. Belated but bursting with joy, here’s a big, cheerful happy birthday to you! May your life be a continuous party, where every moment is filled with laughter, love, and endless good vibes.
  3. It’s never too late to spread birthday cheer! Sending you a belated happy birthday wish wrapped in confetti and sprinkled with smiles. May your days be filled with joy and your nights with unforgettable celebrations.
  4. Belated happy birthday to someone who knows how to light up any room with their beautiful smile. May your year be filled with boundless laughter and countless reasons to celebrate. Let’s get together soon, please!
  5. Late to the party but exploding with enthusiasm! Belated happy birthday to someone who knows how to have a good time. May your life be a never-ending celebration!
  6. Better late than never, right? Wishing you a belated happy birthday that’s as bright and dazzling as you are!
  7. Apologies for the lateness, but my excitement for your birthday is as genuine as ever. Here’s a big belated happy birthday to you! May each day be a joyful adventure, filled with love, laughter, and endless reasons to celebrate. Love you lots!
belated birthday wishes ecard

Humorous belated birthday wishes

  1. I was going for the world record of being fashionably late with birthday wishes. Turns out, I won! Belated happy birthday to the most patient person I know.
  2. I know I’m late, and I apologize. I hired a team of silly little sloths to deliver this birthday wish. They’re notoriously slow, but their cuteness makes up for it. So, here it is: Belated happy sloth-approved birthday!
  3. They say age is just a number. In your case, it’s a well-kept secret! Belated happy birthday, my forever young friend. May you continue to baffle the laws of aging and rock each passing year.
  4. I didn’t forget your birthday — I just wanted to make it a two-day celebration. Belated happy birthday, party animal!
  5. I heard you’re celebrating your birthday month, so I’m right on time with my belated wishes. Happy birth month! May the festivities continue.
  6. Don’t think of this card as late; think of it as my little way of giving you a few extra days to stay a year younger. Hope it was happy!
  7. Someone has to keep the party going. You’re welcome. Belated happy birthday!
  8. I forgot your birthday this year because I figured you were also trying to forget it.

Belated birthday wishes for your mom

  1. Belated birthday wishes to the most incredible woman I know — my mom! I apologize for missing the date, but my love for you remains steadfast. Thank you for being my pillar of strength and always believing in me. May this year be filled with abundant love, good health, and dreams come true!
  2. Belated happy birthday to the most amazing mom in the world! I’m so sorry for the tardiness, but my love and admiration for you are ever-present. Thank you for being my role model, confidant, and best friend. May this year bring you all the happiness and fulfillment you deserve.
  3. Belated happy birthday to someone who means the world to me! I’m sorry for the late wishes. You bring so much inspiration to my life, and I’m grateful to have you as my role model. May this year be filled with love, laughs, and [insert favorite food].
  4. Belated happy birthday, mom! Wishing you a birthday as bright as your smile, as sweet as your love, as fun as your spirit, and as wonderful as you are. Thank you for always being there for me!

Belated birthday wishes for your dad

  1. Belated birthday wishes to the man who has always been my pillar of strength — my dad! I’m so sorry for the delay, but my love and appreciation for you are timeless. May this year be filled with endless blessings, joy, and moments you’ll cherish forever.
  2. I might have missed the date, but my love for you is always on time. Belated happy birthday, Dad! You are my rock, my guiding light, and the source of my strength. May this year be filled with love, laughter, and countless memorable moments.
  3. Belated happy birthday to my father — the most reliable, honest, and loving man I have ever known!
  4. Dad, I’m so sorry for missing your birthday. I hope you had a day of laughter and [favorite hobby]. Happy belated!
tribute birthday banner

Belated birthday wishes for your grandparents

  1. I hope your special day brought you all the joy and happiness you deserve, Grandpa! I’m so sorry I missed it. Thank you for always being the most caring, fun, and hard-working person I know. I love you and can’t wait to take you out to celebrate.
  2. Belated happy birthday, Grandma! I’m so sorry I missed your special day. You are the heart of our family, and I hope your birthday was as magical as your love and wisdom. I’ll see you soon to celebrate!
  3. Belated happy birthday to my superhero! Your presence and guidance in my life means so much to me. Here are some photos that made me think of you. Hope you enjoy!
  4. Grandma, I’m so sorry for the belated birthday wishes! You are someone I adore and look up to and I’m looking forward to taking you out to [favorite restaurant]!
  5. Happiest of birthdays, Grandpa! This card is a bit late, but I hope you had a fantastic day filled with [favorite snack] and fun stories! I love and miss you!

Belated birthday wishes for your sister

  1. I’m so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy belated birthday, sis!
  2. Don’t worry, I didn’t miss your birthday — I just wanted to be fashionably late. Belated happy birthday!
  3. I would move the sun and moon, turn back the clock for you. But violating the laws of physics seemed like overkill, so here’s your card. Belated happy birthday!
  4. Sure, this greeting comes to you a bit late, but it’s still full of love, positivity, and good wishes. Belated happy birthday!
  5. How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you don’t look any older? Belated happy birthday!
belated birthday wishes ecard

Belated birthday wishes for your brother

  1. I know you received so many birthday wishes yesterday, but who’s here with you today? Me, that’s who. Happy birthday, bro!
  2. Hope you had a great birthday. I missed eating your cake on your birthday, so I plan to eat at least two desserts today to make up for it.
  3. I missed your birthday! I wish I had a great excuse, like I was busy saving the world or something, but unfortunately I don’t. I hope it was a good one!
  4. I know I’m late wishing you a happy birthday, but mine is coming around soon, and revenge, as they say, is sweet. Happy birthday, brother!
  5. Another trip around the sun, and I missed your special day! Please accept my apologies and my belated wishes for a happy birthday.

Belated birthday wishes for your friends

  1. Belated happy birthday to my amazing, sweet, and beautiful friend. Although my greetings come late, our friendship always comes first. I cherish you now, today, tomorrow, and forever more. Happy birthday!
  2. I hope that your birthday was as wonderful and special as you are. Sorry for my late birthday wishes!
  3. Happy birthday! (Leave it to me to say the right thing at the wrong time.) I hope you had a fantastic day.
  4. If you were born just a few days later, then these could have been the first wishes you received on your birthday. But sadly, they’re not. Sorry they’re late happy birthday wishes!
  5. I didn’t really forget your special day…I just wanted the happiness to last a little longer. Belated happy birthday to my best friend!
  6. Although my wishes turned up late, I hope you birthday turned out great!

Belated birthday gift ideas

Of course, sometimes a personal message isn’t quite enough to express your just-a-little-late happy birthday wishes. For those times, a generous gift is just the thing to show that special someone that you’re thinking of them.

belated birthday wishes Fields Of Europe® Bliss
Fields Of Europe® Bliss
belated birthday wishes Rainbow Sprinkle Celebration Cake
Rainbow Sprinkle Celebration Cake™
belated birthday wishes Strawberries for Him™
Strawberries for Him™
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